The Under Review - Issue 4 | Summer 2021

BUZZARD 25
“Can’t say that I have, Alan. Can’t say that I have. Truly a foreboding omen if this announcer’s
ever seen one. Here’s a fun fact for all of our listeners out there, a group of crows is called a congress.”
“Now that’s interesting, Paul. I always thought it was a murder of crows.”
“Well, the two terms are interchangable, but I was trying to avoid using the word murder for
what I thought would be obvious reasons. I thought that a little bit of linguistics fun would help keep
things light for our listeners, you know, in the face of our current situation.”
“I hear you, Here’s what I don’t understand, Paul, and let me know if I’m off-base with this.”
“Hey-ohhh.”
“Thought you might like that one. Anyhoo, here’s what I’m trying to wrap my head around.”
“Alright, shoot.”
“Now, walk with me on this one. You got your sports journalism degree from Boltech University,
right?”
“Sure did. Go Wildcats.”
“So you’re familiar with the first law of thermodynamics, right?”
“The Law of Conservation of Energy, sure.”
“Right. So if energy cannot be created or destroyed, merely transformed or changed from one
form to another, could we just be seeing the ball’s energy changing from kinetic to some heretofore
unseen form of gravitational potential energy?”
“Hmm. That’s an interesting point you bring up, Alan, but I don’t think that accounts for the
apocalyptic chanting I’m hearing in my mind.”
“Oh, you’re hearing it, too, then? For a second I thought I might have been imagining it. What do
you suppose that is? Latin?”
“Well, I’m not sure how I know this, but it feels a heck of a lot older than Latin, if you can imagine
that. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a language never before heard by humans, Alan. Something that was never
meant for human-”
“Paul, hate to cut you off, but looks like there’s some kind of development down on the field.
Folks, from up here it looks like some kind of visible energy has begun pulsating out of the ball. I’d say it’s
pulsating at about three second intervals and each successive wave is traveling further away from the ball.
It’s hit the players now and down they go, shaking like bacon in a frying pan.”
“That next wave just hit the stands, Alan. Dollars to donuts, I’d say the next wave hits us up here
in the booth.”
“I’d say you're right, Paul. Annnd here it is.”
“Holy cow. How would you describe what just happened, Alan?”
ISSUE 4 | SUMMER 2021