02.06.2021 Views

The Under Review - Issue 4 | Summer 2021

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“Not sure how good an idea that is, with Anthony’s recent rotator cuff surgery.”

“Excellent point, Alan. It appears that Adamson is trying to grab onto the ball.”

“That would help with his error rate, should he pull it off.”

“They’re at the ball. Adamson is reaching towards it… He’s motioning for someone to give him

his glove, smart move. I wouldn’t want to touch it with my bare hands either. And… he’s got it, folks! He has

his glove completely around the ball. But it looks like…”

“It looks like he’s having trouble pulling it down, Paul. He’s putting all his weight on it but it’s still

stuck in the air. Oh, Anthony is down! Looks like Adamson threw him off balance and Adamson is now

hanging from the suspended ball in his glove. He’s just hanging there like a christmas stocking full of candy

canes and lotto scratchers.”

“That looks like smoke coming from his glove, Alan. Yes, it appears that the ball has burned

through Adamson’s glove and he has fallen to the ground like a sack of potatoes, folks. That ball must be

hotter than a two dollar pistol.”

“Hotter than the lawyers on Trial by Fire, Paul?”

“Oh, not possible, Alan. Trial by Fire, Fridays at nine, folks.”

“I think I’m beginning to hear that ominous rumbling that our producer, Jerry Scaccia, was

talking about. Let me tell you, it is chilling to hear, folks. Is this the same ominous rumbling you were

referring to, Jerry?”

“I don’t think he can hear you, Alan. It looks like Jerry is huddled up in the corner praying.”

“Here’s a question for you, Paul. Do you think praying is going to do any good in this situation?”

“That’s a tough question, Alan. It’s hard to believe that there is a God in a situation like this. If

there is, then either they aren’t hearing Jerry’s prayers or they’re completely indifferent to them. Either

way, the Panthers are going to have a real humdinger of a time trying to put out Adamson, who has just

burst into flames, like a billy goat with a blowtorch.”

“Now, do you think this is the orb punishing Adamson for grabbing it, or did the burning glove

just coincidentally catch his uniform?”

“Hard to believe in a coincidence at this point, Alan. The head umpire is batting at the flames

with his chest protector and the other players are attempting to suffocate the flames by kicking dirt on

them. And it looks like that did the trick, the flames are out, ladies and gentleman.”

“That’s some good luck for the Panthers, Paul. With Josh Snader already out with that torn

meniscus, they’d be hard pressed to replace Adamson at this point in the season.”

“That is true, Alan. Though they’ve had luck with the farm teams in the past. They picked up Mac

Hartyl two seasons back and he’s been a stalwart of left field ever since.”

“That’s for sure. Say, have you ever seen so many crows circling in one place before, Paul?”

THE UNDER REVIEW

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