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2 The Middle Room<br />

SOME


WHERE IN<br />

LOUISIANA<br />

@dragon76art<br />

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22<br />

10<br />

LOCAL SPOTLIGHT<br />

34<br />

THE TRAP HOUSE<br />

It's You vs the Jones'<br />

Contents<br />

14 HIEROGLYPHICS<br />

And then there was conXform<br />

Take a look at entrepreneur Mardy Jones<br />

and see how he's been Finessin since 93<br />

IN THE KITCHEN WITH CHEF GOODDAE<br />

A crash course on the 2x sear method<br />

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44<br />

READ OF THE MONTH<br />

"The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho<br />

48<br />

UNRELEASED<br />

52<br />

An exclusive look<br />

into the rhyme book of rapper<br />

LC Son<br />

ZORDON<br />

Stand in the "even if"<br />

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“I’D RATHER<br />

DIE<br />

ENORMOUS<br />

THAN LIVE<br />

DORMANT”<br />

- JAY-Z, “Can I Live”<br />

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Social media is the new black. It goes with everything. Of course<br />

it's been this way for a minute now. Boasting is like the fresh<br />

new Balenciaga sneakers we just gotta snap up right quick.<br />

We've become so programmed to show off, show up and show<br />

out. I mean, “If it’s not on Instagram, did it really happen?”<br />

When did this mentality become the standard? Are we all simply<br />

living to try and keep up with the Jones’? Do we crave validation<br />

from others that badly? The instant gratification of having our<br />

"frenemies" seeing what we’re doing, and what they’re not doing,<br />

is just so gratifying, right?<br />

If we all were focused on the path before us instead of looking<br />

with a rivalrous perspective to our left and right, would we still<br />

feel the need to gloat? Would we still need the affirmation from<br />

our peers that we so heavily crave?<br />

It’s so easy to get caught up in the illusions, and in the cut-throat<br />

world of comparison and competition. However, trying to oneup<br />

our neighbor eventually gets exhausting. It also creates a lack<br />

of appreciation and gratitude for the unique blessings that were<br />

handcrafted for each of our own individualites.<br />

A humbling word to live by can be found in Galatians 6:4 “Pay<br />

careful attention to your own work. For then you will get the<br />

satisfaction of a job well done and you won’t need to compare<br />

yourself to anyone else.”<br />

When we look forward and pay close attention to our own<br />

works, we don’t have time to keep up with the Jones’ or the Kardashians<br />

for that matter, (no smoke). When we look forward and<br />

pay close attention to our own works, we won't need validation<br />

from anyone nor would we have time to compare what was specifically<br />

designed for us. Please don’t get caught up in the trap...<br />

Stand free and liberated in the truth and knowlwdge of what’s for<br />

you is soley for you. No need to compare or compete with anybody<br />

besides yourself.<br />

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“There are 2 ways to live your life. 1 is to live<br />

as if nothing is a miracle, the other is to live<br />

as if everything is a miracle”<br />

- Albert Einstein<br />

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Photo Taken By Trey Delaney<br />

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Hieroglyphics<br />

Take a deeper look into the building blocks that shape<br />

what has become the brand conXform.<br />

Trey Delaney, CEO and founder of conXform, had always<br />

envisioned something greater than the societal<br />

norm we’re taught to live by from childhood, but wasn’t<br />

quite sure what that looked like or even how to make that<br />

a reality. In 2015, the idea of conXform came to fruition. It<br />

became a creative hub for the dreamers and visionaries like<br />

himself. With paint/drawing being his first love, he started<br />

working on a 4ft x 5ft canvas that would soon change everything.<br />

His vision eventually led him to create the three foundational<br />

pillars of art for conXform which are identified as "Untitled<br />

1," "Untitled 2," and "Untitled 3."<br />

Article by Trinity Lawrence<br />

Photography by Alondra Medrano<br />

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All three pieces were made with the intent of creating a personal<br />

experience into the world of conXform, and are up for<br />

the viewers' own interpretations.<br />

"Untitled 1" is an acrylic based painting created in 2017.<br />

This was the first painting of the series. The depiction of<br />

“The American Dream” was the inspiration behind this<br />

piece. This painting was created to portray the crushing of<br />

the status quo that society brandishes, to break the mold<br />

of the “cookie cutter” life we’re taught to strive for, and to<br />

encourage the creation of our own individual paths.<br />

"Untitled 2" is also an acrylic based painting which was<br />

created in 2017. At times the insurmountable weights of life<br />

can come to distract or interrupt the journey of pursuing<br />

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our dreams and aspirations. This painting signifies breaking<br />

free from those strongholds and proceeding in that power.<br />

The last of the three, "Untitled 3" is an oil based painting<br />

finished in 2018. This painting was created to start a conversation,<br />

specifically on spirituality and faith in our society.<br />

All three pieces will be accompanied with a short film that<br />

was created, written and shot by members of conXform.<br />

The first video to be released is projected through the eyes<br />

of our youth. This film introduces the foundations of conXform<br />

and what we stand for. It serves as a reminder of the<br />

boldness, the innocence and the childlike faith we lived by<br />

before society tried to box us in and strip us of our authentic<br />

selves.<br />

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“The self is made, not given”<br />

- Barbara Meyerhoff<br />

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MARDY<br />

JONES<br />

A SPOTLIGHT ON ENTREPRENEUR &<br />

OWNER OF FINESSIN since 93<br />

STORY BY TRINITY LAWRENCE<br />

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALONDRA MEDRANO<br />

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It’s no surprise that one of this months spotlight’s inspirations is Master<br />

P. “He was a ball player, rapper, entrepreneur, investor, and owns a<br />

record label. He is one of the illest ever,” Mardy laughed. Being from a<br />

small town in Louisiana, to now living in a big City in Texas, has shaped Mardy<br />

Jones into being the multifaceted person we get to see today. When he’s not<br />

busy creating, designing and managing his own accessory brand called Finessin<br />

Since 93, he’s occupied with recording and hosting his own podcast called<br />

"The Perspective Podcast."<br />

To understand Mardy and the foundation of his “hustler’s mentality,” we had<br />

to go back to the basics. He stepped into The Middle Room and gave us a peek<br />

into his childhood, how it was growing up in his hometown of Alexandria, LA,<br />

his many business ventures, and how he got to where he is today.<br />

The Middle Room: What<br />

was it like for you growing<br />

up in such a small<br />

town as Alexandria, LA?<br />

Mardy: It was cool. It was<br />

one of those cities where<br />

it was kinda industrial but<br />

still a farming place. Music<br />

was really big for me<br />

growing up. On weekends<br />

moms got up and she’d<br />

raise every window in the<br />

crib and she would start<br />

spinning records. That’s<br />

kinda how music became<br />

embedded in me.<br />

So you said music has<br />

been a part of you from a<br />

young age. Did you ever<br />

get into rapping/producing<br />

or were you just a<br />

big fan?<br />

M: Music for me was just<br />

about, I know what good<br />

music is. By being around<br />

soul music, gospel music<br />

in church, screw music,<br />

good records are good<br />

records. Music is universal<br />

to me so it’s just one of<br />

those, when you hear it,<br />

it’s like a feeling.<br />

Who are some of your<br />

favorite musical artists?<br />

M: Of course Mary J, Luther,<br />

Michael Jackson and<br />

Janet. As far as all time<br />

favorites, my top 5 are DJ<br />

Screw because he has his<br />

own category of music.<br />

Kanye is a big artist for<br />

me. I can never turn my<br />

back on Wayne and for<br />

what he has done and how<br />

he shaped music. 50 is<br />

one of those for me. Ross<br />

is one of those for me. So<br />

those are like my biggest.<br />

Nipsey too, how he was<br />

able to be so calculated<br />

about everything. I loved<br />

that about Hussle.<br />

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After graduating from high school,<br />

Mardy explained how he left his<br />

hometown to go to college in Lafayette,<br />

LA. With the small town traps<br />

of drugs, jail, or premature fatherhood,<br />

Mardy felt pressured to get<br />

out, and like many others, used college<br />

as the getaway ticket. Being that<br />

he went for unimpassioned reasons,<br />

that road soon came to a dead-end<br />

after multiple major switches and<br />

day dreams of starting his own brand<br />

started to come to fruition. After<br />

getting a job promotion and moving<br />

to Baton Rouge, Mardy found<br />

himself at a plateau. “I didn’t really<br />

know what I wanted to do. I started<br />

to look around at other people and<br />

noticed them hustling and getting<br />

money. That made me think like<br />

wow, they’re finessing one way or<br />

another, and here I am collecting<br />

a paycheck every 2 weeks trying to<br />

figure it out. After thinking like life<br />

is just a finesse basically, it became<br />

a brand. I put my birth year behind<br />

it and it just kinda took a life of its<br />

own,” Mardy explained. He did point<br />

out that Finessin came about during<br />

a tough time in his life though. When<br />

he moved to Baton Rouge he was in a<br />

transitional stage, experiencing a relationship<br />

loss, and he was in a new city<br />

without any connections. But it was all<br />

a blessing in disguise because those<br />

very things forced him to sit in his creativity.<br />

During that down time is when<br />

he started drawing and really taking<br />

Finessin seriously.<br />

So let’s talk more about Finessin.<br />

Give us the creation story.<br />

M: It was at that low point, around<br />

2015 I just started drawing. Sketching<br />

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Mardy looking over potential designs ideas.<br />

“It has to live somewhere<br />

besides in my<br />

head and in the trash<br />

can. So I just went for it.”<br />

here and there. When I moved to BR<br />

from Laffy, it's like I needed that separation<br />

because it forced me to grow.<br />

You know if you keep doing the same<br />

thing that means you’re comfortable.<br />

Getting out and moving made me so<br />

uncomfortable, from the amount of<br />

rent I was paying, to the amount my<br />

paycheck was and the fact I didn’t<br />

know anybody, I was uncomfortable<br />

across the board. But it helped mold<br />

me and shape everything. As a creative<br />

you’re your own worst enemy.<br />

You aint gonna like anything you do.<br />

Then when you finally get to a point<br />

of acceptance you’re like, let’s roll the<br />

dice on it. It has to live somewhere besides<br />

in my head and in the trash can.<br />

So I just went for it.<br />

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We agree. That’s what The Middle<br />

Room was created for. To support<br />

people like you rolling the dice and<br />

taking chances. Where did your interests<br />

in making hats come from?<br />

M: So I worked at Lids creating and designing<br />

stuff for other people. Whenever<br />

I was drawing and sketching for them<br />

I was like I could do this, this makes<br />

sense for Finessin.<br />

Working there and designing for other<br />

people tipped the scale for me to start<br />

drawing for myself. I chose hats because<br />

clothing is so tedious. Hats are an easier<br />

process and I get a chance to see everything<br />

from creating on paper, to screen,<br />

to product. I also started selling face<br />

masks last year too.<br />

So when it comes to inspirations behind<br />

Finessin, who are some of your<br />

favorite brands?<br />

M: I don’t really look at too many other<br />

clothing brands cause Finessin is mainly<br />

a hat brand but if I had to choose one,<br />

it would be Mitchell & Ness. It’s throwback<br />

stuff but I love how it’s constructed.<br />

I love the quality. I look at it like<br />

every brand has to corner a market and<br />

when you think about the pinnacle of<br />

vintage sport clothing, Mitchell & Ness<br />

is that. Nobody beats them at it.<br />

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How involved are you in<br />

making your hats and<br />

masks and how does it feel<br />

to have your product out<br />

for people to see?<br />

M: It’s nerve wracking, but<br />

rewarding. I’m like 90%<br />

independent. The other<br />

10% is when they’re being<br />

produced. I don’t control<br />

that. But I’m in control<br />

of designing, advertising,<br />

shipping and tracking. I<br />

monitor every detail.<br />

What’s your favorite and<br />

least favorite part about<br />

the creative process?<br />

M: This is weird but I love<br />

having to restart the drawing<br />

if I mess up. Because I<br />

can go back and get it right<br />

and learn something in the<br />

process, since I oversee everything.<br />

My least favorite<br />

is waiting for production to<br />

finish because it’s no longer<br />

in my hands.<br />

Did you go through any<br />

self doubt when you first<br />

launched or worrying<br />

about what others had to<br />

say about you and your<br />

designs?<br />

M: Of course. I think everyone<br />

does but I had to<br />

get to a point where it was<br />

f**k them people. It’s not<br />

about what the world wants<br />

from Mardy, it’s about what<br />

Mardy wants to give to the<br />

world. So it’s like yes, a<br />

person might not like this<br />

design, but I had to get to a<br />

point where it’s like why did<br />

you make it? Did you make<br />

it to sit in a notebook? Or<br />

your mind? Or a hard drive?<br />

No. I made it to release to<br />

the world. I had to get to a<br />

point where I accepted my<br />

work and I valued my work<br />

more than the next person.<br />

Because us as humans,<br />

we live in our head 25, 8.<br />

You can’t get caught up in<br />

your own head wanting and<br />

yearning acceptance.<br />

MARDY RECORDING HIS “WHAT DOES CONXFORM MEAN TO YOU?” SEGMENT.<br />

TIME: 11:42 PM<br />

DATE: MARCH 6, 2021<br />

LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN TEXAS<br />

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What is the ultimate goal with Finessin?<br />

M: Whenever I first put the joints out<br />

my goal was to sell out and my first<br />

group did. I was sending my stuff to<br />

central Florida, where I don’t have any<br />

family. I was sending my stuff up to the<br />

top of Michigan where I knew nobody.<br />

So that felt great. I would like to move<br />

to a different style of hats. The majority<br />

of mine now are dad hats and I also have<br />

a group of beanies. But I wanna move<br />

to a different type of beanie, snapbacks,<br />

trucker hats. Actual apparel in the future.<br />

Where does your motivation come<br />

from? And how would you like to be<br />

remembered?<br />

M: My motivation comes from, do you<br />

enjoy the products that I put out. By<br />

staying genuine with who I am and with<br />

what I present. Talking to my homies on<br />

the regular. Those people help me, keep<br />

me in check and they always keep it real<br />

with me. They shoot it to me straight<br />

and definitely keep me motivated. As far<br />

as how I wanna be remembered, I wanna<br />

be remembered as an honest creative.<br />

Honest in my creativity. I’m me from the<br />

front door.<br />

On top of Finessin Since 93, Mardy has a podcast called "The Perspective<br />

Podcast" which he started in 2018 and can be found on Apple Music, Spotify<br />

and Youtube. During his pods he sits down with guests to talk sports, music,<br />

pop culture and all things in between. “I love sitting down chopping it up<br />

with people and getting other perspectives on things. They’re spreading the<br />

information that they know and I like that I get to take that information from<br />

them and bring it to the next."<br />

In addition to all of that, Mardy hopes to expand Finessin from just accessories<br />

to clothing as well. “It’s still in the works but I have other ventures in<br />

mind like “Irresponsible Villains’’ being a joint brand with Finessin. I want to<br />

be able to put those together and expand. Kinda like Foot Locker and House<br />

of Hoops. BBC and Ice Cream. That’s the vision."<br />

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@mardyxlee<br />

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Photography by Alondra Medrano<br />

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STEP<br />

BY<br />

1remove steak from refrigeration about 20-25<br />

STEP<br />

mins before you’re ready to get it poppin'.<br />

2once steak is close to room temperature, pat it dry with a<br />

paper towel to get it ready for the foolishness.<br />

**BEFORE WE MOVE ON REMEMBER:<br />

one side at a time potna, it's all about the TLC here!<br />

3<br />

rub your steak down with some olive oil before blessing it with black cracked pepper<br />

& kosher salt.<br />

4hit up @chef_goodae for the secret rub recipe, or come<br />

up with your own (secret tip: sprinkle a small amount of cinnammon<br />

on your steak).<br />

5 REPEAT STEPS 3 & 4 ON THE OTHER SIDE.<br />

6<br />

once you get to step 3, your pan should have already been<br />

heating, so go get that going on the 2nd to hottest stove setting<br />

& wait for that joint to start smoking.<br />

7When you see that the skillet is hot, drizzle enough oil to lighlty coat the bottom and<br />

throw your seasoned steak down. once your steak is in the skillet, DO NOT TOUCH it, you<br />

don't want to mess up your sear!<br />

**if you really wanna wild out, use oil with a higher "smoke point", Chef Gooddae recommends<br />

AVACADO OIL.<br />

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8depending on the size of your steak and your preferred doneness,<br />

let it cook for 3-5 mins on each side. next, remove steak<br />

from the skillet and set aside to rest for about 5 mins. sear<br />

number 1 is now complete, BUT WE'RE NOT DONE!<br />

**resting allows "flavor juice" to set in, and lets steak cool to<br />

prepare for sear #2!<br />

in the meantime: do yourself a favor and grab some paper towels. wipe your<br />

skillet down to remove any leftover junk from the surface. you can also use this<br />

time to get your butter, herbs, garlic, shallots, and spoon ready for war because<br />

its about to be...<br />

9SMOKEY TIME!!!<br />

set your stove to the highest setting and wait for your pan to smoke. if you're<br />

like us, it is at this time when you should crack a window and remove the batteries<br />

out of any nearby smoke detectors (disclaimer: chef gooddae is not responsible<br />

for any kitchen fires).<br />

toss in your butter, garlic, herbs, and shallots. coat<br />

the bottom of your skillet with the butter and wait for it<br />

10now<br />

to "froth". once this happens, place the steak back in the<br />

skillet and begin basting with the butter for about 2 mins.<br />

**place your herbs on top of the steak as you baste so<br />

they keep their aromatic effect.<br />

flip and repeat!<br />

11the 2nd sear is now complete. take a second to look at your reflection<br />

in the microwave and say "thoughts are things". remove your steak<br />

from the skillet and allow to rest for 3-5 mins before devouring.<br />

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“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold<br />

story inside you.”<br />

- Maya Angelou<br />

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Photo Taken By Trey Delaney<br />

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The Alchemist by<br />

Whenever it’s time for me to start a new read I always find one of those<br />

“100 books to read before you die” lists that you can find in any corner of<br />

the internet. The top 10 typically consists of the usual suspects: Huckleberry<br />

Finn (read it in high school, not my thing), Lord of The Rings (I’m<br />

a Harry Potter movie guy, and I look at that like Biggie vs. Pac…idk), and<br />

The Great Gatsby (big no for me potna). What these books have in common<br />

is that they’re all works of fiction, and I tend to skim past those in favor of<br />

something “real”. It’s for that same reason that I had always steered clear of<br />

“The Alchemist” when it would pop up as a result in my quest for a new<br />

book to indulge in. However, for whatever reason, I finally decided to give<br />

it a google search in an attempt to figure out what all the hype was about.<br />

Upon my search I found this quote, and it reeled me in...<br />

“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only<br />

obligation.”<br />

A good quote that I can quickly plug in to apply<br />

to my life is always a win for me, and this one in<br />

particular was good enough for me to ask Trin<br />

to stop at the Barnes & Noble on her way<br />

home. I quickly discovered that author<br />

Paulo Coelho wouldn’t disappoint.<br />

44<br />

The Alchemist tells the fictional story<br />

of a young shepherd plagued with dreams<br />

of a faraway treasure buried beneath the<br />

pyramids of Egypt.<br />

Don’t worry, this isn’t a spoiler!<br />

It’s not where the boy is going, or<br />

even what he’s after that matters here.<br />

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Paulo Coelho<br />

It’s the events that take place throughout his journey that makes<br />

this book such a great read. Whether or not the story of the boy<br />

ends in tragedy or triumph is left up to you to decide. But if you<br />

are one of those people who are trying to weigh the pros and cons<br />

between waiting on your dreams or making like the wind* and<br />

going after them right now, this book is made specifically for you.<br />

I’ll leave you with one more quote from this story, which may be<br />

my all-time favorite, and I’ll leave it to you to do what you want<br />

with it...ww<br />

“When you want<br />

something, all the<br />

universe conspires<br />

in helping you to<br />

achieve it.”<br />

Article by Trey Delaney<br />

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46<br />

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Photo Taken By Trey Delaney<br />

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Look<br />

It was less than a dream<br />

I remember the terrors all through the night tryna fight the routine<br />

If I don't go get it now no tellin' where ima be<br />

Don't you worry bout the kid<br />

I rather die before I give<br />

Member times at the crib,<br />

Barely lookin' in the mirror if I did it was to show myself the opposite of winners.<br />

The knots was gettin' thinner ni**a barely had a loaf of bread<br />

Momma at home toss and turnin in the sofa bed<br />

Never verbal I would laugh and tell a joke instead<br />

Only a few ni**as saw my lies knew I was close to dead<br />

I prayed and hoped and begged for just a little sign that if I keep my head up I'd be rewarded over time<br />

Afraid to shut an eye<br />

The days would intertwine and all I really had to my name was glaciers and a spine<br />

Grab my sh*t & lean back young ni**a ready to soar<br />

It aint too much I aint already endure<br />

No time to waste for the forsaken<br />

You got a ni**a mistaken if you assume I'm waiting for the call homie I gotta get involved<br />

I see the way they lookin' ni**a I gotta prove em wrong<br />

I gotta show them ni**as I was bout it all along<br />

All the late nights, Mardy had the vision<br />

He could see the pieces in my puzzle that was missin'<br />

He set a ni**a straight and I aint even have to listen,<br />

When you lead by example you really stand to make a difference<br />

Studio in the kitchen, me and the homies tryna get it off<br />

Crack the cases til we see tomoro.<br />

Off to the races different places in the mornin' then repeat it all.<br />

Nothing ever lasts so make sure you went and seen it all<br />

The odds I beat em all and still I can't believe the fall gets steeper every time I let my mind stall<br />

Figure if it's mine called I'll tell em I can't come to the phone<br />

I know my work aint finished here so ima grind til I decide to be gone<br />

You never find me alone, I owe my ni**as and family every second of my time when I'm home<br />

Even then I still feel I just can't see em enough<br />

Cause the truth that lies behind my weary eyes sees my number is up<br />

I got a rumblin' gut, I feel whatevers next gotta be sumn' big and I aint built to be runnin' from what it is<br />

Win or lose ill be makin the rules, Son.<br />

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“We, people’s hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because<br />

people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them<br />

only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction,<br />

towards its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid<br />

out for them-the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness.<br />

Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they<br />

do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place. So, we,<br />

their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out,<br />

but we begin to hope that our words won’t be heard: we don’t want<br />

people to suffer because they don’t follow their hearts.”<br />

- Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist<br />

50 The Middle Room


Photo Taken By Trey Delaney<br />

The Middle Room<br />

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52 The Middle Room


Fear.<br />

He’s powerful.<br />

He’s a thief and a liar. He tries to rob us of our purpose and our<br />

dreams. He tries to convince us that we’re not good enough.<br />

He takes pleasure in reminding us of our failures and setbacks.<br />

He torments us with feelings of doubt and insecurity. He’s like<br />

the bully from the 5th grade who secretly recognizes our potential<br />

so he picks and pries to bring us down to his level of misery<br />

because he desperately wants our company.<br />

When we surrender to fear we are denying ourselves of our<br />

God given purpose for this life. Whether we let fear talk us out<br />

of applying to that job, writing that book, moving across the<br />

country, or whatever your case may be, we’re adding bricks to<br />

the wall in front of us that separates dreams from reality.<br />

We’re not here to say fear isn’t real. Fear is a genuine emotion<br />

and inevitability a part of our daily human existence. The problem<br />

lies when we start to take heed to the irrational worries and<br />

start settling in it, barricading ourselves in our own makeshift<br />

prisons of anxiety, timidity, panic, conformity....<br />

Fear forces us to live in the “what if,” but let us challenge<br />

ourselves to change perspectives and stand in the “even if.”<br />

Instead of looking at him like the great villain ready to claim<br />

defeat, look at him as our companion, our teacher, our mentor.<br />

He’s there to push us past our comfort zones, to bring us wisdom,<br />

to help guide and prepare us for our next attack.<br />

Fear.<br />

He’s powerful, yet, with the right perspective, so are we.<br />

The Middle Room<br />

53


A NOTE<br />

Why do I have to stand up and walk all the way across the room just to grab the<br />

remote? I honestly don’t remember what year it was when I asked this question, if I did<br />

I’m not sure that I would say it here. But this is the exact question I had in my mind right<br />

before I set my focus on solving my problem through telekinesis. Trippin.<br />

We are only beginning, and in a way, we really haven’t even begun. We’re still<br />

figuring out exactly who it is that we are as a brand, and even as people. Of course, we<br />

went through and did the whole business plan thing; identified our target audience, figured<br />

out who our “competitors” were, performed a SWAT analysis, and everything else<br />

that comes along with starting a business in a serious way. I’m one of those people that<br />

gets trapped in the process of creating. I keep going over things in my head all day long,<br />

re-evaluating and re-evaluating. I make myself sick with it...literally. The funny thing is,<br />

you never really know the exact weight of what you hold in your hands until you put your<br />

feet on the ground, if that makes sense? I say that to say, the idea of conXform had been<br />

in my mind for years. I thought I was carving out EXACTLY what I wanted it to be, but<br />

as soon as we hit the ground, it evolved. I specifically didn’t want a “clothing brand.”<br />

At every meeting we had, those would be the first words out of my mouth when trying<br />

to decide how to market this thing to people. I knew we would be working on short film<br />

projects, but I didn’t necessarily know the people we would have the opportunity to collaborate<br />

with. I always knew ju had the skill and potential to be a problem with his music,<br />

but the way I’ve seen him carve out a lane for himself and keep improving has been<br />

like magic. I absolutely never came close to considering the idea of having a monthly<br />

magazine, or zine, or lookbook with words, or whatever you want to call this thing but<br />

everything just happened, and we’re just rolling with it. And like I said, we haven’t even<br />

begun. I’m not trying to make it sound like we’re some new booming business, or our<br />

lives have changed so drastically since February 15th, 2021. I’m still just a “dreaming<br />

artist” who graduated with a degree that makes people look at me like I’m throwing my<br />

life away when they find out I’m a bartender. Ju is still finding his way through the maze.<br />

Alondra has 20 jobs, and Trin10 is a new dog mom who wants more from life. We may<br />

not be where we want to be yet, but we have what’s been the key ingredient since this<br />

idea of conXform came to mind in 2015...faith. More specifically, child-like faith. Just<br />

like that kid with a toy airplane, flying it around their head, making all of the associated<br />

sound effects. They get so wrapped up in the moment that nothing else matters. Even a<br />

child in their innocence might not believe that they are “really” flying the plane, but for<br />

those couple of moments, maybe they do? My goal is to take that moment, and stretch<br />

it out to cover all that I do in my life. This is not me saying jump off your porch and flap<br />

your arms as hard as you can. Or maybe you should do it and see what happens? Just see<br />

how it makes you feel, idk? But this is coming from someone who tried to channel telekinetic<br />

energy to bring the tv remote to their hands at an age I’m too ashamed to say, so<br />

maybe you should just take this with a grain of salt. We can’t fly. We can’t make things<br />

happen with our minds. Trippin.<br />

54 The Middle Room


A NOTE<br />

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