SNN_April 2021 Issue_Low Res

NEW ZEALAND SPINAL TRUST 4
being hopeful, pursuing your goals, being a blessing to
others. Or we can waste it by being disorganised, unhappy,
negative, discouraged, and worried.
Every day we have a choice. It’s up to us, not anyone else,
if we think positively or negatively.
The journey at the start of a spinal cord impairment is the
same. Every person handles that incredibly tough voyage
into a new life in their own unique way, but the one
constant with most people is the ability to be strong,
resilient, positive and to never give up. It is not easy.
I think of all the remarkable people I’ve met in my five
years as the editor of this magazine. Wakeboarder Brad
Smeele, adaptive skier Bailley Unahi, our incredible
columnist Teina Boyd, oboe player Nick Cornish, mouth
painter Dayna Tiwha, and NZ rep bowler Pete Wylie to
name a few.
They are all remarkable individuals in their own right
who have negotiated the path of an SCI in their own way.
All have had their moments when it feels life is too hard to
carry on. They’ve all dusted themselves off and use their
time to be positive, hopeful and pursue their goals. That
is living the life they want to live and living
independently. They don’t know it but they have shown
me, and many others, how to redeem our time.
A few weeks ago, I was at a barbeque at a mate’s place. My
girls were (as per usual) out of control. I was chatting to a
guy who I hadn’t met before who didn’t have kids; “It must
be awesome to wake up everyday and be able to do
whatever you want,” I said, thinking I was being funny.
He replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “It’s not really, I’m
actually really lonely.”
...every day we are given
86,400 seconds which we
can spend as we like.
A few weeks later I catch up with a good mate. He’s doing it
tough. He was made redundant during COVID-19 and now
his contracting work has dried up at the same time the bills
have piled up.
It’s a stressful place and, as in the past couple of years, the
conversation goes to a dark place. He talks about how the
company who made him redundant shafted him, he talks
about how they don’t have a clue, how they took a good
performing team and dismantled it, and how they are fat
cats who don’t care about good hard-working people.
All of that may be true but it’s a narrative to a dark and
negative place which doesn’t help anyone.
It’s time to draw a line in the sand.
I tell him he’s not redeeming his time and the only person
he is hurting by holding on to his hate and anguish about
how he’s been treated is himself and his family. The people
who made those decisions months ago moved on straight
away. He is the only one who cares and is hurting.
When you have a moment to reflect you realise that time is
limited and so precious. Don’t waste it. On average we
spend 80 hours a year looking for things we have lost, we
spend 2.5 hours a day on average on social media (or
around 876 hours per year) and the average American
spends around 5 hours a day watching television (1825
hours or 76 days of each year).
How many hours have I spent, like my mate, feeling
negative, bitter and discouraged? I can’t tell you for sure,
but it’s been too many.
It’s the end of the day now and I’m making my way down
the steps to Cashmere Avenue Primary School where we
had the heart-breaking moment this morning. I stop and I
see Charlie. She’s helping some new friends carry in a small
trampoline into the class room. She’s smiling and laughing
as they try to get it in the door (unsuccessfully), in the end
she helps them figure it out.
Special family time at the beach. In the past five years,
Charlie has grown up in a flash.
I am proud. My little girl is loving the first day of her big
new adventure. She is already a leader. That moment will
stay with me. Life is short. I want to make sure that I am
positive, hopeful, pursuing my goals, being a blessing to
others. I want to be an everyday example to my girls that
I am redeeming my time. I might not be there when her
face beams red when she has made a mistake or to catch
her when she falls in the playground, but I’ll be there every
day to support her to become the fine young woman she
will be.