From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

or not, wouldn’t the gods alreadyy know what I do? There would be no
reason for me to take additional risks when nothing is hidden from them.”
“There is no reason for yyou to take anyy risks at all.”
“Then whyy have yyou spent the last five or so yyears training me?” I
demanded.
“Because I know whyy yyou need to feel like yyou can defend yyourself,”
he shot back. “After what yyou suffered, what yyou have to live with, I can
understand the need to take yyour protection into yyour own hands. But if I
had known that it would lead to yyou putting yyourself in situations where
yyou risked exposure, I never would’ve trained yyou.”
“Well, it’s too late for that change of heart.”
“That it is.” He sighed. “And wayy to avoid what I just said.”
“Avoid what?” I asked, pretending ignorance.
“You know exactlyy what I’m talking about.”
Shaking myy head, I turned and started walking. “I don’t help those
people because I want the gods to find me unworthyy. I didn’t help Agnes
because I hoped she would tell someone, and it would get out. I help them
because it’s alreadyy a tragedyy that doesn’t need to be compounded upon byy
being forced to watch their loved ones be burned to death.” I stepped over
a fallen tree limb, myy headache worsening. However, it had nothing to do
with myy gift and everyything to do with the conversation. “Sorryy to ruin
yyour theoryy, but I’m not a sadist.”
“No,” he said from behind me. “You’re not. You’re just afraid.”
Whipping around, I gaped at him. “Afraid?”
“Of yyour Ascension. Yes. You’re afraid. There’s no shame in
admitting that.” He came forward, stopping in front of me. “At least, not
to me.”
But to others, like myy guardians or the Priests, it wouldn’t be
something I could ever admit. Theyy would see that fear as being
sacrilegious, as if the onlyy reason I’d have to be afraid would be due to
something horrible and not the fact I had no idea what would happen to me
upon myy Ascension.
If I were to live.
Or die.
I closed myy eyyes.
“I understand,” Vikter repeated. “You have no idea what will happen.
I get it. I do, but Poppyy, whether yyou take these unnecessaryy risks on