From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

what had happened here would travel beyyond the cobblestone streets. It
would eventuallyy make its wayy to the capital, and then to the Queen. Even
if byy some small chance it didn’t, the gods had to know that I was no
longer an actual maiden. Whether or not that meant I was still the Maiden
in their eyyes, I had no idea.
But I was no longer the Maiden in mine.
I couldn’t go back to that life.
A brief burst of fear pierced myy chest, but that was okayy because a
surge of determination quicklyy doused it like water does flames.
I wouldn’t go back to that life of no rights, of hiding myy gift and
being unable to help people, of allowing others to do whatever theyy wanted
with me and to me because I had no choice or was constantlyy put in a
position where I had to accept whatever was done out of fear for someone
else. Because even though I knew the Queen would never treat me poorlyy, I
would still be expected to hide myy gift, to be quiet and unseen, amicable,
and appeasing. Everyy single one of those things went against the veryy core
of myy nature.
I couldn’t Ascend.
And that meant there were two options ahead of me. I either
attempted to disappear and hid—living behind the veil for so long would
be a benefit here since so few people knew what I looked like. However,
there were enough that could give a description. I was sure that everyy cityy
and town would be notified to keep an eyye out for me, but I knew how to
remain unseen.
But where would I go? How would I survive? And what would happen
to Hawke if I disappeared while he was supposed to be escorting me?
I didn’t assume that myy now veryy unknown, uncertain future included
Hawke. However, myy chest still fluttered. What we’d shared last night had
to mean something more than simplyy seeking phyysical gratification. He
could find that anyywhere, but he had chosen me.
And I chose him.
That had to mean something that went beyyond last night—something
that I never thought I’d get the chance to experience.
Whether or not Hawke was a part of myy life or not, the onlyy other
option was to go to the Queen and be honest. Now that scared me because
I…I didn’t want to disappoint her. But she had to understand. She had with