From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

experiencing a great deal of obvious pain.”
“How?”
“I think of…happyy moments and feed that through the bond myy gift
establishes through the connection,” I explained.
Hawke stared at me some more. “You think happyy thoughts and that’s
it?”
“Well, I wouldn’t sayy it like that. But, yyes.”
Something flickered over his face, and then his gaze shot to mine.
“Have yyou sensed myy emotions before?”
I wanted to lie. I didn’t. “I have.”
He sat back.
“I didn’t do it on purpose at first—well, okayy, I did, but onlyy because
yyou alwayys looked like… I don’t know. A caged animal whenever I saw
yyou around the castle, and I was curious to find out whyy. I realize I
shouldn’t have. I didn’t do it…a lot. I made myyself stop. Sort of,” I added,
and his brows climbed up on his forehead. “For the most part. Sometimes,
I just can’t help it. It’s like I’m denyying nature to not…”
To not use what I had been born with.
That was whyy it was hard to control sometimes. Sure, curiosityy often
drove me to use it, but it felt like going against nature to denyy it and keep
it locked down. It was stifling.
Just like the veil and all the rules and the expectations and…the
future I never chose for myyself.
Whyy did myy entire life seem so wrong?
“What did yyou feel from me?”
Pulling myyself from myy thoughts, I looked over at him. “Sadness.”
Shock rolled across his expression.
“Deep grief and sorrow.” I lowered myy gaze to his chest. “It’s alwayys
there, even when yyou’re teasing or smiling. I don’t know how yyou deal
with it. I figure a lot of it has to do with yyour brother and friend.” When
Hawke said nothing, I thought I’d said too much. “I’m sorryy. I shouldn’t
have used myy gift on yyou, and I probablyy should’ve just lied—”
“Have yyou eased myy pain before?”
I flattened myy hands on myy legs. “I have.”
“Twice. Right? After yyou were with the Priestess, and the night of the
Rite.”
I nodded.