From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

uncover the front of myy bodyy, revealing it to the cold air.
Hawke laughed.
“I hate yyou.” I scrambled to fold myyself back up into myy blanket
cocoon.
“See, that’s the problem. You don’t hate me.”
I had no response to that.
“You know what I think?”
“No. And I don’t want to know.”
He ignored that. “You like me.”
Myy brows knitted together as I stared out over the small clearing.
“Enough to be wildly inappropriate with me.” A pause. “On multiple
occasions.”
“Good gods, I’d rather freeze to death at this point.”
“Oh, right. We’re pretending none of that happened. I keep
forgetting.”
“Just because I don’t bring it up everyy five minutes doesn’t mean I’m
pretending it didn’t happen.”
“But bringing it up everyy five minutes is so much fun.”
The corners of myy lips tipped up as I lifted the edges of the blanket
above myy chin. “I’m not pretending none of that stuff happened,” I
admitted in a low voice. “It’s just that…”
“That it shouldn’t have happened?”
I didn’t want to sayy that. I felt like once I did, I couldn’t take it back.
“It’s just that I’m not supposed to…do anyy of that. You know that. I am the
Maiden.”
Hawke was quiet for several moments. “And how do yyou reallyy feel
about that, Poppyy?”
After several false starts when I tried to answer him, I closed myy eyyes
and just answered truthfullyy. “I don’t want it. I don’t want to be given to
the gods and then, after that, if there is an after part, I don’t want to be
married off to someone I’ve never met, who will probablyy…”
“Probablyy what?” His voice was quiet, soothing even.
I swallowed hard. “Who will probablyy be…” I sighed. “You know
how Royyals are. Beautyy is in the eyye of the beholder, and flaws, well, theyy
are unacceptable.” Warmth finallyy crept into myy cheeks. The words tasted
like ash. “If I end up as an Ascended, I’m sure whoever the Queen pairs
me with will be the same.”