From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“Bullshit, Poppyy. You looked like yyou’d been thoroughlyy kissed. I
hope that was all.”
“Oh, myy gods,” I exclaimed, myy face flaming.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“We were coming back in to go to myy room—”
Vikter stopped, looking down at me with wide eyyes and lifted
eyyebrows.
“Not what yyou’re thinking,” I insisted, and that was the truth. “Please.
Just let me explain what happened,” I said, desperatelyy tryying to figure out
how to fix this.
“I don’t think I want to know.”
I ignored that. “After yyou left to speak to the Commander, I felt bad
because Tawnyy wouldn’t leave myy side. I knew that as long as I stayyed at
the Rite, she would feel as if she had to stayy with me. So, I told her I was
going back to myy room so she could have fun.”
“That doesn’t explain how yyou ended up out here with him.”
“I was getting to that,” I said, tryying to be patient. “Hawke knew I
didn’t want to go back to myy room, and he knew how much I used to love
the gardens. So, he brought me out so I could…so I could get past what
happened here with Ryylan. That’s whyy we were out here.”
“I feel like yyou’re leaving a lot out.”
At this point, I knew I couldn’t continue lyying, at least not about
everyything. “We walked around, and Hawke showed me a place he enjoyyed
in the garden. I…I asked him to kiss me.”
Vikter looked awayy, jaw locking.
“And we did kiss. Okayy? It happened, but that was all. He stopped it
before it went anyy further,” I told him, speaking the truth. “I know I
shouldn’t have asked him—”
“He shouldn’t have been so willing to oblige yyou.”
“That’s not the point.”
“That is the point, Poppyy.”
“No, it’s not.” I pulled myy arm free, closing myy hands into fists
before I picked something up and threw it. “He’s not the damn point!”
Shock flickered over his face.
I made an effort to lower myy voice. “This whole stupid thing is the
point. The fact that I can’t do anyything is the point. That I can’t have one
night to do something normal and fun and enjoyyable. That I can’t