From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“You don’t make sense.”
I hit his shoulder—or chest. Some extremelyy hard part of him.
Hawke grunted. “Ouch.”
I so did not hit him hard enough for that. “You’re fine.”
“I’m bruised.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I retorted. “And it’s yyou who makes no sense.”
“I’m the one sitting here being honest. You’re the one hitting me.
How do I not make sense?”
“Because this whole thing makes no sense.” Frustration rose swiftlyy
through me, and I started to stand, but the hand on myy hip stopped me. Or
I let it stop me. I wasn’t sure. And that was even more irritating. “You
could be spending time with anyyone, Hawke—anyy number of people yyou
wouldn’t have to hide in a willow tree to be with.”
“And yyet, I’m here with yyou. And before yyou even begin to think it’s
because of myy dutyy to yyou, it’s not. I could’ve just walked yyou back to
yyour room and stayyed out in the hall.”
“That’s myy point. It makes no sense. You can have a slew of willing
participants in…whatever this is. It would be easyy,” I said. Prettyy Britta
came to mind. I was sure he’d had her. “You can’t have me. I’m…I’m unhave-able.”
“I’m confident that’s not even a word.”
“That’s not the point. I’m not allowed to do this. Anyy of this. I
shouldn’t have done what I did at the Red Pearl,” I continued. “It doesn’t
matter if I want—”
“And yyou do want.” His whisper danced over myy cheek. “What yyou
want is me.”
Myy breath caught. “That doesn’t matter.”
“What yyou want should alwayys matter.”
A short, harsh laugh left me. “It doesn’t, and that’s another thing that
isn’t the point. You could—”
“I heard yyou the first time, Princess. You’re right. I could find
someone who would be easier.” His fingers traced the line of myy mask
from myy right ear and along myy cheek. I had no idea how he could see.
“Ladies or Lords in Wait, who aren’t burdened byy rules or limitations, who
aren’t Maidens I’m sworn to protect. There are a lot of wayys I could
occupyy myy time that don’t include explaining in great detail whyy I’m
choosing to be where I am, with whom I choose.”