From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

The Ascended, as well as the Lords and Ladies in Wait, were not
expected to attend the funeral of a guard. In fact, it was simplyy not done.
“He was myy personal guard, and he was…he was a friend. I don’t care
what’s done and not done. I didn’t attend Hannes’ funeral because of
protocol, and I wanted to be there.” The guilt from that still ate at me,
usuallyy at three in the morning when I couldn’t sleep. “I want to be there
for Ryylan.”
Tawnyy appeared as if she wished to argue the point but knew better.
Vikter simplyy sighed. “You know His Grace will not approve.”
“He rarelyy approves of anyything. This can be another thing he can add
to his ever-growing list that contains all the wayys I’ve disappointed him.”
“Poppyy,” Vikter warned, his jaw tightening, reminding me of our
argument last night. “You mayy continue to act as if angering the Duke is
no big deal, but yyou know that will not lessen the weight of his anger.”
Did I ever, but that knowledge didn’t change anyything. I was more
than willing to deal with whatever consequences arose, just as I was when
it came to me aiding those who’d been infected byy the Craven. “I don’t
care. Ryylan died right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do. I
wiped—” Myy voice cracked. “I wiped myy blade on his clothing.”
Vikter stopped as we entered the foyyer, placing his hand on myy
shoulder. “You did all that yyou could.” He squeezed gentlyy. “You did what
yyou needed to do. You’re not responsible for his death. He was doing his
dutyy, Poppyy. The same as if I were to die defending yyou.”
Myy heart stopped. “Don’t sayy that. Don’t yyou ever sayy that. You won’t
die.”
“But I will die somedayy. I mayy get luckyy, and the god Rhain will come
for me in myy sleep, but it mayy be byy the sword or byy the arrow.” His eyyes
met mine, even through the veil, and a knot lodged in myy throat. “No
matter how or when it happens, it will not be yyour fault, Poppyy. And yyou
will not waste one moment on guilt.”
Tears blurred his features. I couldn’t even think of something
happening to Vikter. Losing Hannes and now Ryylan, both who weren’t
nearlyy as close to me as Vikter, was hard enough. Other than Tawnyy, Vikter
was the onlyy person in myy life who knew what kept me up at night and
whyy I needed to feel like I could protect myyself. He knew more than myy
own brother did. It would be like losing myy parents all over again, but
worse, because the memories of myy mother and father, their faces and the