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for Simona and Daniele too. They need a happy family.”
“Happy family,” I repeated. My children had never experienced a happy
family. For a while, Gaia and I had managed to hide our resentment for each
other, but in the last couple of years, things had turned for the worst.
“I want that,” she whispered fiercely, lowering herself until her face hovered
over mine.
“So do I,” I said. But I was a realist, and in a few years, Giulia would be too.
“But you don’t believe in it.”
Looking up into Giulia’s hopeful, kind face, I really wanted a happy family.
“It’s not a matter of belief.”
“It is. If you don’t believe in it, if you don’t work for it, then it won’t become
reality.”
I smiled wistfully, wondering if I’d ever been this optimistic.
“Don’t blame this on me being young,” she warned, eyes flashing with
annoyance. “Being positive is not a trait of the young. You are being a grumpy
old man by choice.”
A laugh burst out of me. Giulia smiled. Then she became unguardedly
hopeful. “Cassio, I want to be happy. I want us all to be happy.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked without thinking. Giulia was young. I
wouldn’t be responsible for her unhappiness, at least not on purpose. I wasn’t
really sure if I had a choice in the matter. With Gaia, I’d thought I’d done
everything I could to make her happy. In hindsight, it hadn’t been enough, but I
was up against an impossible challenge.
“Allow yourself to trust me.”
I ran my palm up her back along the gentle bumps of her spine before
cupping her head, pulling her down for a kiss. “I’ll try.”
“You could start by telling me what happened with Gaia, and why Daniele
acts the way he does.”
I shook my head. “That is the past, and it’s got nothing to do with us.”
Giulia smiled sadly. She knew as well as I did that it had everything to do
with us, but the past with Gaia wasn’t something I’d share with her. It wouldn’t
serve any purpose but to destroy whatever tentative bond that was forming
between Giulia and me. She was young. Maybe that was why I was willing to try
at all. I didn’t want to be the one to destroy her loveliness.
“Okay.” It wasn’t. Giulia’s body language made that clear.
“What else?”
“Spend time with the kids and me. Family time. Be home for dinner, be
home on Sunday. I want to get to know you, what you like to do in your free
time, what you enjoy doing.”
I tried to remember the last time I’d done something I enjoyed doing that
didn’t involve my line of work. I couldn’t.
“Don’t tell me there’s nothing you like to do except work. There must be
something else you enjoy besides torture and killing.”
So uninhibited with her words. It was a breath of fresh air. I hummed,