The Vegas Voice 3-21

Vicki & the Vet... and the Vet
By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
Two weeks ago, my Cairn Terrier, Rosie, ate
half a bottle of Tums. I wasn’t particularly
concerned, but my friend urged me to call the vet
anyway.
Turned out Rosie could
have had calcium toxicity,
and this was mildly
alarming...to the doc,
anyway.
“I think you’d better come
in right away and we’ll make
her throw up,” said the
veterinarian. “Or you can
try to do it yourself. Just give
her a couple of tablespoons
of hydrogen peroxide, and
then…”
“Forget it, I have a white
rug and a son who suffers
from sympathetic vomiting.”
“Well, then you need to
bring her in. We’ll keep her until she throws up, and you can pick her
up this afternoon…and that’ll be $392.00.”
The next day, Lady Di, our smaller dog, started scooting on her
backside all over the house. After several days of lecturing her on this
unladylike behavior, I told another friend, who advised again calling
the vet.
“Yes, Ms. Wentz, Di is apparently one of those dogs who will need
occasional expression of the anal sacs. It’s no big deal, just every couple
of weeks and we’ll do it for you. Or you could try to do it yourself, just
take two fingers…”
“No, thanks, I’m already getting woozy.” “Fine, we’ll be happy to do
it for you…for only $55.00… every time.”
A few days later, my son was wrestling with Rosie, and I noticed lots
of small red spots on her stomach. My son, being male, said he’d seen
them but figured they were supposed to be there. I looked at him.
“Rob, did Rosie have red spots on her stomach last week?” “No.”
“Rob, have you EVER seen Rosie with red spots all over her stomach?”
“No.”
“So, my sweet son, how do you figure they’re supposed to be
there?!”
He shrugged, having lost all interest in the conversation much earlier.
Back we go to the vet, to find out that Rosie had a severe staph infection
and must be given three pills twice a day for two weeks. $803.00!
On Tuesday evening, Di drank half a glass of white wine, which had
been left on the coffee table for three-and-a-half seconds. (Yes, I know.
I’ve suggested meetings, but she has to admit she has a problem…)
Since it hadn’t been my wine, I wasn’t too concerned – she’d have a
doozy of a hangover the next morning, but hey, we make choices - but
again, my friend said to call the vet. (I really need to get new friends.)
Rosie & Lady Di
I made the call just as Di upchucked every single thing she’d ever
eaten in her life, and the vet said to watch her that night and bring her
in to be checked in the morning – for $230.00.
Then, last night, Rosie began barking frantically at something out in
the woods. A neighbor and I went to investigate and found that she had
cornered a wounded possum.
I knew she hadn’t
wounded the possum,
because Rosie’s nature is
simply to bark other animals
(and people) into a seizure.
This is her way of inviting
them to play, and she was
totally perplexed by this
animal’s lack of interest.
When we finally hauled
her away from the possum,
I called the vet who is now
on speed-dial. He said not to
worry, Rosie was up to date
with her rabies vaccination.
I was thrilled.
“But to be safe, bring her
in for a booster tomorrow.” I’d been so close.
As we were checking out the next day, the increasingly snide young
woman at the front desk said sweetly, “That’ll be $85.00. And should we
just go ahead and make another appointment for later this week, Ms.
Wentz, just to be sure you have a spot?”
Yeah, she’s a riot. I’m getting her a puppy for Easter.
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com.
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