The Vegas Voice 3-21

Corn-on-the-cob
By: Dianne Hahn / Back in the Days
When I was little, I desperately wanted a dog.
My parents bought me a goldfish instead.
It was like finding broccoli on your dinner plate
instead of corn-on-the cob.
We put the goldfish bowl in my room on the corner of my desk.
I named her Goldie and watched her swim when I was doing my
homework.
Before long, I was telling Goldie all my problems. She knew I was
usually the last one picked in gym class and that Nicky, the class bully,
lived down the street.
Goldie was my buddy, but one night she jumped out of her bowl
while I was asleep. I cried when I found her, but after the funeral I
crossed my fingers and asked for a dog again.
They bought me a yellow chick on Easter. I was back to broccoli,
craving corn-on-the-cob, but I named her Hazel. One day I came home
from school and Hazel was gone.
“We sent her to a farm,” my mother said. “She outgrew her cage.”
As we ate dinner that evening (roast chicken) I pictured Hazel
strolling around a barnyard happily pecking at bits of food in the dirt.
My thoughts turned to corn-on-the-cob.
“Can I get a dog now?” “I don’t want dog hair all over the house,”
my mother said.
Shortly thereafter, I saw a sign in front of a neighbor’s house.
16
Pet Peeves
By: Gayla Kalp / Life is Laughter
Maybe because I am getting more and more
cranky with all of the Covid restrictions,
I have been noticing some seriously annoying
things. Let’s start with restaurant occupancy
restrictions when Costco is bulging with people in the snack section is
seriously annoying!
How about the slow driver in the fast and middle driving lanes?
Psychologists call them “Passive Aggressive.” I asked one of these
creatures “what are they thinking?”
They explained that they were going the speed limit and everyone
else should too. Therefore, other drivers, who do not obey the speed
limit, can just drive around them.
I explained that this can cause the other drivers to become frustrated
and they will dangerously go around them causing an accident.
Mr. Passive Aggressive held to his theory of “going the speed limit.”
Seriously annoying!
March 2021
‘’FREE PUPPIES!”
A cardboard box sat
on their front lawn
and it rocked back
and forth.
A puppy peaked
out from the top
and toppled to the
ground. He was a
black and white, a
cuddly bundle of
Dianne with Wicket & Em
fur. I picked him up
and he snuggled in. my arms.
“Take him home,” called my neighbor. “No!” My mom said.
“Please! I’ll never ask for another thing as long as I live. I’ll look
after him, and feed him, and train him….” “Stop!”
Tears filled my eyes. “What do you want to name him, Dianne?”
Butchie, a wannabe Border Collie, chased Nicky away and filled my
life with doggie kisses, fun and joy! I finally got my corn-on-the-cob,
dripping with sweet, creamy butter!
A former schoolteacher, Dianne also writes for children. Presently
she has six kid’s books available on Amazon.com. You can also
see her on SCA-TV.
How about the one paper menu per table in the restaurants? Did
someone not inform me there was a major national paper epidemic in
which all paper sources had been wiped out? Seriously annoying!
My all-time annoying favorite is the driver who stops 3-5 car lengths
before the next car at the stop light. What is with that?
Talk about causing a traffic accident. I have even seen this driver do
this ritual at the stop light with no car in front of him. Seriously?
They say it is done to prevent accidents. Right! Other frustrated
drivers try to get into those ridiculous spaces this car creates and cause
accidents. Seriously annoying!
How do you like grocery stores blocking the aisle with huge carts
unloading canned goods, etc. at the height of the shopping hours? The
loader even gets angry if you block his cart! Seriously annoying!
My last annoyance is “the Mask.” I have been buying all these cute
masks and I assumed they were ”Covid safe.” I found out that 80% of
my masks, including the ones that I got at the drug store did not meet
Covid standards and were not safe!
Therefore, I was going through the misery of covering my face for
nothing! Not only have I wasted money, but I was putting myself and
others at risk. I was being seriously stupid & annoying!
Gayla is a speaker, author, psychologist and humorist. She has
been a guest speaker for television and radio programs, plus a
featured speaker for business and charity organizations. She also
happens to be Ms. Sr. California, Nevada and Universe England.