Island Parent February/March 2021

FEB/MAR 2021 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years 

Kid-friendly 

Favourites 

in Tofino 

Special 

Needs Issue 

20 Things 

Parents of kids with 

special needs should hear 

From Stylist to Fashion Police 

What to do when kids decide what to wear

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February/March 2021 3

FEB/MAR 2021 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 33 Years 

TABLEOFCONTENTS 

Features 

10 

Special Needs Families 

& the Pandemic 

Six struggles special needs families 

face during the pandemic. 

YVONNE BLOMER 

14 

20 Things Parents of Kids 

with Special Needs 

Should Hear 

Bring a parent is hard. Being a 

parent to a child with extra needs 

is extra hard. Here’s how to help. 

DR. DARLA CLAYTON 

In Every Issue 

5 

Fast Forward 

SUE FAST 

6 

Need to Know 

20 

Moms’ POV 

SARAH SEITZ 

22 

Dadspeak 

BUD RIDOUT 

24 

Kids’ Reads 

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG 

18 

Kid-friendly Favourites 

in Tofino 

From beachcombing and 

surfing to sea kayaking and 

whale watching—and 

everything in between. 

28 

The Saving ‘Grace’ 

of the Redo 

When tomorrow can’t 

come soon enough. 

KELLY MCQUILLAN 

26 

What’s for Dinner 

EMILLIE PARRISH 

28 

Businesses You 

Need to Know 

30 

Family Calendar 

32 

Nature Notes 

KALENE LILLICO 

34 

Happy Families, 

Healthy Families 

ARELI HERMANSON 

36 

Preschool & 

Child Care Directory 

38 

Cut It Out! 

ALLISON REES 

On the 

Cover 

Alexander R (4), 

Ayana B (1) & Sophia R (8) 

Photo by Katrina Rain 

IG: 

@katrinarainphotography 

FB: 

@KatrinaRainPhotography 

Special 

Needs Issue 

Kid-friendly 

Favourites 

in Tofino 

20 Things 

Parents of kids with 

special needs should hear 


What to do when kids decide what to wear 

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca 

Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca 

Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca 

RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca 

Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a 

bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on 

resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not 

necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without 

the permission of the publisher. Island Parent is distributed free in selected areas. 

Annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (GST included). 

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505. 

Island Parent Magazine 

250-388-6905 islandparent.ca 

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 

A proud member of 

BC 

4 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca

FASTFORWARD 

The Superhero Parents 

of Kids with Special Needs 

Most parents have felt the kind of exhaustion that won’t go 

away with a little “self-care”—a manicure, hot bath or massage—or 

a good night’s sleep or two. But if you’re a parent 

of a child with special needs, that exhaustion can be relentless. 

“When parenting a child with special needs, there are no vacation 

days of off-switches,” writes Jenn Jones at Scary Mommy. “Raising 

my child, who has half-a-dozen diagnoses, requires constant attention, 

awareness, energy, flexibility, dedication, and patience.” 

As children with special needs get older, their needs evolve, and 

their parents must evolve, too. 

“When I climb into bed at night, I both thank God that I get to 

be my child’s mother, but I also recognize the epic depletion.” While 

there’s “freedom in speaking your parental truth,” says Jones, doing 

so comes with a cost: judgement and inappropriate responses—even if 

those responses are well-intended. 

What you need is… 

While taking a vacation or even a catnap might sound like reasonable 

solutions, they are often impossibilities for parents of kids with 

special needs. First there’s the challenge of finding childcare. 

“If I’m not caring for my child, who will be?” asks Jones. “I’m 

pretty sure it won’t be the person who flippantly tells me to just chill 

out with a fruity drink, poolside, in a tropical location a few thousand 

miles from home.” 

Not only do parents of kids with special needs have to work “every 

moment of every single day” for their children, she says, but they also 

have to fight stereotypes and combat judgements. 

“Why don’t we just discipline our kids more or better? Have we 

tried essential oils, supplements, chiropractic care, prescription medications, 

therapy, a special diet? Perhaps we just need to put out more 

positive vibes into the universe or pray harder, asking God to heal our 

children?” 

Jones says if parents of kids with special needs could “just whisper 

a prayer, rub a little oil on our kid’s wrist, or avoid sugary foods 

forever, resulting in our child being healed, we would do it in a heartbeat.” 

But that’s not how special needs works. 

“And frankly, defending our parenting to all the know-it-alls out 

there is only further exhausting us,” she adds. “We don’t need advice, 

pity, or criticism. We just need support.” 

To that end, this issue features Yvonne Blomer’s “Special Needs 

Families & the Pandemic,” outlining six of the struggles that special 

needs families have faced since the start of the pandemic. Also featured 

is Dr. Darla Clayton’s “20 Things Parents of Special Needs Should Hear.” 

“I need a lot more ‘go, Mama’ cheers,” says Jones, “and a lot less 

of the outside-looking-in criticism.” 

Here’s to helping each other out and being part of the cheering 

section. 

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NEEDTOKNOW 

I Read Canadian 

I Read Canadian Day, on February 17, is a national celebration of Canadian 

books for young people. The goal of I Read Canadian Day is for 

children nationwide to read a Canadian book for 15 minutes on February 

17. On Saturday, February 13, events will be held at bookstores all across 

Canada with creators taking part in readings and signings. The social 

media campaign, #IReadCanadian, is on I Read Canadian’s Twitter and 

Instagram accounts. Register your class, library or home to participate 

today at the official website. Key activities will take place February 13 

to February 21, with February 17 as the official I Read Canadian Day. On 

that day at 9am, a series of videos called I Write Canadian will premiere 

on the CCBC’s YouTube channel, Bibliovideo. Presentations from an 

amazing roster of authors and illustrators will be featured to celebrate 

I Read Canadian. Visit ireadcanadian.com. 

Have a Heart Day 

February 14 is Have a Heart Day, a child 

and youth-led reconciliation event that 

brings together caring Canadians to help 

ensure First Nations children have the 

opportunity to grow up safely at home, 

get a good education, be healthy, and 

be proud of who they are. Even if we 

can’t gather as we usually do, we can 

still celebrate the spirit of Have a Heart 

Day and stand up for love and fairness. 

Here are some ideas from First Nations 

Child and Family Caring Society 

(FNCFCS), fncaringsociety.com/havea-heart, 

are some ideas: 

Spread the word and post photos of 

your Have a Heart Day letter, cookies, or 

however you choose to celebrate on social 

media. Use the hashtag #HaveaHeartDay 

and/or #JourneeAyezUnCoeur. 

Complete a Snow Bears Activity or 

make some Have a heart Day cookies with 

your class, group, or family. Find Spirit 

Bear’s Bearcipe cards in the resources on 

the FNCFCS website. 

Host an online Valentine’s Day party 

to raise awareness in your school or 

community. 

Reconciliation is all of us. Read this 

information sheet for ways you can 

help make a difference. For more ideas, 

recipes, posters and activities, visit 

fncaringsociety.com/have-a-heart. 

Campbell River 

Photo Collection 

Itching to get your camera out? Then this collection 

is for you. See some of the most photogenic locations 

and experiences across Campbell River for you 

to explore and document. This curated collection will 

leave you with a camera full of precious memories 

from scenic lookouts to public art to beautifullyplated 

food. Rediscover the Campbell River we love 

and how to do it safely. Explore with confidence 

and claim your rewards. Download the app at 

crivercollection.com/#. 


The Family 

Care Kit 

To help support families, The Calmversation 

Learning Foundation has 

released a Family Care Kit full of activities, 

games and discussion prompts 

to help parents and caregivers truly 

connect with their kids and keep them 

engaged and thriving. Based on community 

feedback, the Family Care Kit 

is centered around five core themes: 

Ideas and Inspiration, Communication, 

Emotions, Learning, and Problem 

Solving. Activities in the downloadable 

workbook are meant to bring families 

closer together, help kids manage and 

understand emotions, and empower 

them to share ideas, thoughts and feelings. 

Some of the activities include picture 

journaling, planning and preparing 

meals, making the everyday neighbourhood 

walk an adventure, crossword 

puzzles and wordsearches, family trivia 

nights, riddles and problem solvers, as 

well as questions to ask at the dinner 

table, during the bedtime routine, or 

when out for a walk to help parents 

and caregivers connect with their kids. 

Funded by the Canadian Red Cross and 

the Government of Canada, the Family 

Care Kit is available at no cost and 

can be downloaded in one easy step at 

calmversation.org. 

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Keeping Kids Cozy 

The Meaning of Home 

Over the past year, our homes have transformed into offices, 

schools and, for the lucky few, places of refuge. This 

year more than ever, Habitat for Humanity Victoria wants to 

know, what does home mean to you? The annual Meaning of 

Home writing contest that encourages students in grades 4, 

5 and 6 to share what home means to them through a poem 

or short essay is back and open for submissions at meaningofhome.ca. 

The contest runs from January 4 to February 

19, and awards more than $180,000 in grants through grand 

prize winners from each grade, along with nine runners-up. 

Last year, Nathan Papps of Glenlyon Norfolk School in Victoria 

won a $30,000 grant which went towards Habitat Victoria’s 

active build project in North Saanich. His poem, “Where 

the Heart Lives,” tells us how a family transforms a house in 

to a home. Visit habitat.ca. 

Hillside Centre is accepting new or gently 

worn winter coats for children and teens in need. 

The Drop-Off bin is located across from 

Guest Services. Thank you for your support. 

Coat collection ends March 30. 

Hillside Centre is also raising revenue for 

Coats for Kids. When you colour and return the 

colouring sheet, available at Guest Services, Hillside 

Mall will donate a $1 to Coats for Kids (Max. $1,000). 

hillsidecentre.com/coats-for-kids-2 

Have a Whale of a Time 

Throughout the coastal towns of Tofino and Ucluelet and around the Pacific Rim 

National Park Reserve, it’s an all-out celebration of life on the coast. It’s about 

grey whales and marine life education, inspirational talks and interpretive walks, 

children’s fun for the small and culinary events for the tall, First Nations cultural 

workshops and more. Come and experience a coastal tradition. Planning is 

underway for the 2021 Pacific Rim Whale Festival that will work within the 

COVID-19 directives laid down by BC Health. Tentative dates are March 15–21. 

For updates on events, visit pacificrimwhalefestival.com. 


5 Family Day 

Field Trips 

The following Vancouver Island attractions are all open for business and make for a fun Family Day Field Trip: 

1. North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre. Visit the Eco-Centre, Museum of Nature and the Treatment Centre and Nursery, 

among other highlights. Open daily from 9am-4:30pm. Masks required when indoors, except for children under two 

years old. niwra.org 

2. Royal BC Museum. Take part in RBCM’s Family Day Webinar: Animal Portraits for Kids on Feb 15 from 11-11:30am and 

learn about the diversity of creatures, big and small, that live in diverse family structures. To register, visit royalbcmuseum. 

bc.ca. 

3. Mt. Washington. Try the “plan ahead, buy online, wear a mask, be kind” option that allows skiers and tubers to buy 

tickets before they arrive. Tackle the slopes or the tube park, all while staying apart and outdoors. mountwashington.ca. 

4. Shaw Centre for the Salish Sea is “o-fishally” open 10am–4:30pm. Download scavenger hunt and activity sheets 

and explore the Centre and Salish Sea. salishseacentre.org 

5. Courtenay and District Museum and Palaeontology Centre. Explore the museum’s natural history galleries and 

delve into the elasmosaur discovery, how ammonites got their shape and name, and mysteries of the rat fish, among 

other things. Visit courtenaymuseum.ca. 

In-Person & 

On-Line Options 

STAGES 

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• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, 

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Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca 

Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com 



Special Needs Families 

& the Pandemic 

he pandemic is taking a brutal toll on children and 

“T youth with special needs and their families,” according 

to a new report by BC’s representative for children and youth. 

Let’s admit it, it’s been a tough haul these last several 

months. In one corner, parents protest the opening of schools, 

in another they are protesting the closing of them. Goodbye 

hugs, hello masks. I still clearly remember my son’s last day of 

school before spring break last March. Truth be told, I pulled 

him a day early. Colwyn has Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS) 

and Autism. He’s shy and curious and he licks things. Before 

the shut down last March, Colwyn wore gloves and a mask. In 

fact, he’s been wearing both at school since September of 2019 

to help curb his licking. 

All families have struggled to balance work, social life, 

school and safety. We try to understand why schools have different 

rules than other workplaces, and what activities to let 

our kids do while ensuring their safety, along with the trick of 

fostering emotional development with no peer contact. 

It has been hard for all of us. But it’s especially hard for families 

with neurodiverse kids. 

Here are six of the struggles special needs families are facing 

during the pandemic. These findings are based on my conversations 

with parents of kids with special needs including the 

autism spectrum, ADHD, Prader-Willi Syndrome, and a rare 

condition called 16p11.2 microdeletion. None of the kids have 

complex medical needs but are neurodiverse in how they process, 

learn and live. Families whose children also have complex 

medical needs are having to be that much more careful, and the 

stresses on them are that much higher. 

1. Change is hard. 

Neurodiversity often makes it so hard to adjust to sudden 

changes that kids move rapidly toward either shutting down or 

self-harm. With change comes anxiety and with anxiety comes 

a range of behaviours. 

Last spring, at the start of the pandemic, we had to increase 

my son’s anxiety meds and give him extra time to process situations 

and changes. We also began writing down the plan for the 

day and doing countdowns, and number of sleeps until something 

expected would happen. Sometimes, those plans were 

changed because of Covid safety plans. Two hard losses were 

not being able to see family and friends, and not being able to 

visit playgrounds. To see the swings at the park, and the yellow 

tape around them, and to try to understand that the “big cold 

everyone has” was keeping him off them. 


One mom I spoke with whose son has ADHD said her son 

had a “mini breakdown” during each lockdown. “He just slept 

all the time for the first week…said he was going to sleep until 

it was over.” 

After days of yelling and talking and trying to verbally figure 

out the changes, he would suddenly switch to grudging acceptance, 

“like snapping your fingers. 

“It’s like it took a week or two to go through the thought 

processes that I did in a few seconds—‘Oh shoot! That’s bad. I 

hate this, but we do this now.’” 

2. Zoom (etc) isn’t engaging for neurodiverse 

kids and they lose their sense of independence. 

I’d argue that many typical kids—and adults—find Zoom 

and other online platforms a bit foreign and strange. For special 

needs kids, it’s even worse. There is no interaction, and 

these kids live for hands-on learning. 

Colwyn’s Education Assistant (EA) did a lot of home Zoom 

sessions with us, but for Colwyn to respond to her, I needed to 

be there supporting him. He did and still does piano on Zoom, 

which is fabulous, but I used to sit outside the classroom. Now 

I’m helping him play the notes, making sure he listens to the 

teacher and engages with her. I redirect, encourage, and keep 

him on track. Often he’s looking at me instead of at his teacher. 

When they move from playing the piano to singing songs, 

I’m behind the iPad, dancing, mouthing the words, doing the 

actions—often with a stuffed Garfield on my head—it’s an 

aerobic workout. 

I’m happy to help but I’m also aware that it’s another thing 

he needs me for. It’s not moving my son toward any sense of 

independence. 

Colwyn’s friend, Trinity, has a rare genetic duplication called 

16p11.2. Though verbal, she needs time to articulate her 

thoughts. 

“By the time it’s Trinity turn to talk on a Zoom meet, she’s 

almost too frustrated and in tears,” says her mom Carol 

Geisler. 

Colwyn will happily do music lessons on Zoom with me 

helping him, but classroom chats last spring were basically a no 

go. 

The key to all of this, too, is that not all families have access 

to all that essential technology. 

While it has been great to be able to talk to doctors on the 

phone or via medical online links, but a big concern for many 

families is “no one is putting eyes on their kids.” Colwyn needed 

blood work (as did I) and that was a scary venture into the 

hospital last April and again in November. He will need to start 



puberty and because of his PWS will need some help, so we’ve 

had complicated phone, online and hospital visit appointments 

all of which have resulted in needing to see his specialist when 

she’s in town so she can actually see him herself. All our medical 

professionals have been amazing, my son is utterly awesome, 

but it sure is imperfect and he has no life-threatening 

issues. 

3. Loss of Community and engagement 

Colwyn is mostly with his dad and me when he’s not in 

school. There is funding for camps and support for families 

with special needs, but Colwyn is a kid who requires one-toone 

support, so he has both been turned away from group 

activities and we have elected to not send him to camps for the 

past 11 months. 

Many kids his age can go to soccer practice or other sports 

and be safe. Colwyn and his peers can’t. Trinity was scheduled 

to attend Easter Seals Camp last summer, but it was cancelled. 

“They delivered a box of resources…crafts and recipes and 

Trinity was looking for the recipes just recently saying, ‘I want 

to do SOMETHING.’” Geisler and her husband have elected to 

keep both kids home and homeschool because of Trinity has a 

history of respiratory illness. Specialists for speech, occupational 

therapy and physical therapy have moved online, too. Kids 

who need assessments are delayed even more than usual. 

4. Homeschooling is HARD 

Trinity’s family is having a really hard time navigating homeschooling 

and she is one of those kids with special needs who 

falls through the cracks. 

“She’s always in the margins, her diagnosis is rare enough 

that most doctors don’t know what it is.” says her mom. Trinity 

displays autism traits, but not enough to meet the criteria. 

“So, we don’t get extra funding or support other than what 

is offered through her Individualized Education Plan (IEP) at 

school. Now she’s not in school, we’re on our own.” 

If Geisler’s son attended school, the risk of him bringing 

something home led to her keeping both kids home. 

“Elli is more vocal about how unhappy he is,” she says. 

“Trinity is more silent, but she spends a lot of time home alone, 

can’t go anywhere, and there isn’t a lot available, so she’s doing 

a lot of crafts.” 

Though most families with neurodiverse kids have probably 

already shaped their lives around their kids’ needs, the loss of 

school and outside support adds an immense strain. 

5. Inclusion is out the window. 

Teens are programmed for socializing, so it makes that at 14 

Trinity is really missing her friends. Colwyn is at school every 

day, but in so small a cohort, he no longer mixes with the typical 

kids in the school. Inclusion is out the window. Though I’m 

relieved that his cohort is only six kids plus EAs and a teacher, 

Colwyn remembers being a part of the larger school and misses 

those interactions and the classes that he once attended in aca- 


demic subjects. Silas, a friend of Colwyn’s with PWS in Vancouver, 

is also in a small, special needs cohort in school. 

“I think as a special needs parent you are constantly scanning 

the environment for threats like some robot in a movie, 

which can feel a bit crazy. Are we worried about his exposure 

in school? Yes. Special needs kids are not as aware of their bodies 

in space, and ahem, sometimes personal hygiene,” says Silas’ 

mom, Heather Beach. “I’m worried about his lack of interaction 

with anyone else in the school, his inability to find any new 

peers or feel a part of the school community.” 

And, like Cowlyn’s school program, the lessons are simplified. 

“He is not getting exposure to any subjects other than math, 

science, English, social studies and art. It’s basic. “There are a 

lot of life skills programs, which Silas is beyond,” she adds. 

Having a special needs child doesn’t exempt you from all the 

other things life throws at you. 

Our family is lucky, but I have Type 1 diabetes and an 

81-year-old dad who we haven’t seen since school started in 

September. 

Many families have other kids, so do those kids have to miss 

seeing friends to protect the entire family? Yes. Parents get sick. 

Carol, Trinity’s mom, had thyroid issues in the fall so had to 

take some leave from work. It enabled her to homeschool, but 

also put other stressors on the family. 

Some families are parented by single moms or single dads 

who must work from home while being the primary or only 

caregiver to their neurodiverse child. 

Our kids don’t work well on their own, for the most part, 

they need help in doing schoolwork, maybe toileting, eating (or 

limiting eating) and in engaging with what resources are available. 

Behaviours flair with the added stress and anxiety, some 

kids pull pictures off the walls, some kids skin pick to infection, 

some sleep all day. Teen suicide is on the rise as well. 

On the positive side, Colwyn struggled early on with all of 

the changes, but the frustration led to more speech. He’s been 

a relatively nonverbal kid, but started saying names, and songs 

titles, and expanding his words from partial to more full pronunciations. 

Over the last 11 or so months, he has begun to 

really talk. Mostly about people he wants to see, or places, but 

he also read a book to a cousin over Zoom. 

Last spring every time we were in the car he’d say something 

that to us sounded like “Uncle Phil” His cousin, when she was 

here, thought he was saying “Agatha” but we finally figured it 

out—Island View! And so began our frequent walks at Island 

View Beach. 

Slowing down between March and June and then throughout 

the summer meant Colwyn could catch up mentally with things 

he’d been learning and working on his whole life and begin to 

talk! 

For more information and to view the report, Left Out: 

Children and Youth with Special Needs in the Pandemic, visit 

rcybc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/CYSN_Report.pdf 

Yvonne Blomer is a Victoria writer and the 

past Poet Laureate of Victoria. Her most recent 

books are Sugar Ride: Cycling from Hanoi to 

Kuala Lumpur and Refugium: Poems for the 

Pacific. yvonneblomer.com. 



20 Things Parents of Kids with 

Special Needs Should Hear 

1. You are not alone. 

There may not be anyone else with the same constellation 

of symptoms as your child but there are people with similar 

challenges. Find those people. I have never met anyone with 

all of these same challenges as my kid but I have a strong network 

within each separate diagnosis. We have made wonderful 

friends and have found—and I hope provided—a great deal of 

support within each of these. I just have to pop onto one of my 

Facebook groups and I’m immediately reminded, I’m not alone. 

2. You too deserve to be cared for. 

We are placed in a position of caring for others nearly constantly. 

However, you still need and deserve to be cared for. 

That entails asking friends or family to bring a meal by every 

now and then, or going for a pedicure, or a date night, or whatever 

else you enjoy doing. Whatever makes you feel special and 

taken care of, take the time to enjoy it, you are worth it. 

3. You aren’t perfect—and that’s ok! 

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We can wallow in 

our goof-ups or move on! Try to shift your thinking, maybe 

there was a good reason you missed that appointment, that 

you were sure was on Tuesday but apparently was on Monday. 

Maybe your kiddo had a tough day at school and just needed 

the night off. Who knows? But beating yourself up isn’t going 

to change the situation, so try to move on. 

4. You are a superhero. 

You may not leap buildings in a single bound or run faster 

than a speeding bullet but you are a superhero none the less. 

Everyday, you manage situations that a regular parent would 

think are impossible. You stretch tight muscles, remember pills, 

inject and infuse medicine. You hold hysterical children during 

horrendous medical procedures. You deal with tantrums and 

melt downs. And most often manage not to have a tantrum 

or melt down yourself. You encourage your child to do things 

doctors told you they would never do but you never gave up 

hope. You are a therapist, nurse, doctor, friend and confidante. 

You are no regular parent. 

5. Therapy is play. 

Having sat in on several therapy sessions, I have been frustrated 

by what I thought was premature discharge from therapy 

on more than one occasion. Since then, I have grown, I have 

learned and I have come to understand. For children, therapy is 

play and play is therapy. What I mean is that the best therapists 

find ways to make my son engage in challenging activities that 

he otherwise would have balked at, by making it a game that 


he wanted to play. We took a page from their book and did the 

same at home. 

6. Play is therapy. 

Yes, this is different from number five. After discharge from 

therapy, we sought extra curricular activities for my son that 

would offer therapeutic benefits. He played sled hockey, runs 

on a track team, learned to shoot archery and takes swim lessons. 

All of this is therapy. He’s learning, having fun and getting 

stronger. Win, win and win. 

7. Make time to enjoy your kids. 

We super parents tend to be fairly busy and often over scheduled. 

However, while everything on your calendar is important, 

it’s also important to make time to play, laugh, be silly and just 

enjoy your kids. Read to them, snuggle with them, engage with 

them with what’s important in their worlds. Make memories 

outside of hospital walls. 

8. You will be obligated to make heart-wrenching 

decisions. 

You will have to make painful decisions that hurt your heart 

and leave you questioning everything you thought you knew 

or understood. Know that you are doing your best, remember 

number three. I am guilty of agonizing over these types of decisions, 

they can become really overwhelming to me. Talk about 

your conundrum with others who get it and trust yourself to 

make the best decision. Make it move on and once it’s made 

don’t rethink it. Easier said than done, but worth a try. 

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14. Keep your sense of humour. 

Certain things get under my skin, we all have our buzz issues. 

But if you’re not careful, you can become overly sensitive to so 

many things that people start to avoid your company. Try to 

remember that people are not trying to offend or upset you. 

15. Celebrate the little things. 

Brag about those accomplishments that might seem small to 

others but are huge for our kids. Our kids develop on their own 

clock, they learn many skills late and some they never master. 

A wiggled toe that couldn’t wiggle before, a word, a sentence, 

a smile, a hug, whatever that milestone may be, share it with 

those who love you and your child. 

9. You won’t always get it right. 

Many of the choices you are forced to make have no right 

answer, just the lesser of the hard and painful wrong choices. 

You will do your best but you won’t always get it right no matter 

how many sleepless nights you spend agonizing over how to 

handle a situation. 

10. Forgive yourself. 

Yes, you will screw things up sometimes despite the very best 

of intentions. No amount of torturing yourself will make you 

feel better, nor will it help you to make better choices. Remember 

many of the toughest decisions have no right answer. 

11. Being a parent is hard. Being a parent to a 

child with extra needs is extra hard. 

It can also be extra rewarding. Make us extra passionate. 

And will almost always make life extra interesting. With the 

challenges come the rewards. Sometimes you have to search 

your heart for the rewards but they are there if you look for 

them. 

12. Parenting a child with extra needs is like a 

marathon. 

For those folks who are trying to win a marathon, there are 

no breaks. If you want to stay in the race, you eat, drink and 

even pee while running. But our marathon will go on for the 

foreseeable future and beyond. So remember, you don’t need to 

win, just make it to the end. The guy who comes in last place in 

the marathon, he took breaks, he stood and drank some water, 

grabbed a quick bite and used the porta-john for his business, 

then got back on the road. Give yourself those moments—however 

brief—that are for yourself. You might even get to pee in 

peace every now and then. 

16. Don’t let typical parents get you down. 

I know how hard it is to hear from parents that their child 

six months younger than yours is walking and yours isn’t. Or 

dealing with the well meaning stranger who asks why your 

2-year-old is scooting around on their butt rather than being 

up on their feet. Try to remember that these people lack the 

context that we are constantly embedded in. Explain, teach, be 

patient, raise awareness among those who just don’t get it. And 

remember, typical parents deserve the right to brag, too, and 

their pride at their child’s accomplishments is not meant as a 

knock to your amazing kiddo. 

17. Don’t compare. 

This is another challenging one folks, but worth the work. 

All kids are different, typical, or with extra challenges and they 

will grow and develop at their own pace. If a developmental 

milestone isn’t met as you think it should be, certainly talk to 

your child’s doctor. Comparing, siblings, cousins, kids in the 

daycare class, or even comparing kids within the same disability 

type rarely serves to make you feel better. Your child is 

unique, and will have their own individual strengths and challenges. 

18. You don’t have to be “THAT” parent. 

You know the one who clearly spent 10 hours creating the 

amazing snack shaped like an animal with licorice whiskers. 

13. Don’t lose yourself. 

Don’t let being the parent of a special needs child create 

or reshape your identity. We are many things, being the parent 

to a child with special needs is part of our identity. But it 

shouldn’t be all of our identity. When you focus all of your life, 

all of your contacts, all of yourself around your child and their 

needs, who you are can get lost. Find things in your life you 

enjoy doing, a glass of wine, a hobby, shopping for yourself. 


The one who sends adorable treat bags 

for every holiday. The one who finds the 

coolest gifts for the teachers every year. 

And whose child is always dressed in the 

cutest outfits that somehow never get 

dirty. If that’s the mom you are led to 

be, more power to you! However, I have 

found that there are always enough of 

those moms in my kid’s classes to keep 

them in cute snacks and treat bags. Since 

I have bigger fish to fry, I let them have 

all the glory! 

19. Make time for your relationship. 

Relationships are hard work, period. 

Parenting is hard work, period. Parenting 

a child with special needs, is especially 

hard work, period. For those of you who 

are married or in a relationship, make 

time for that relationship away from 

your children. 

20. Trust your instincts. 

You know your children best. Doctors, 

teachers, therapists are all fantastic 

resources but if you don’t feel like you’re 

being heard, or your child’s needs are 

being met, it’s reasonable to get a second 

opinion. Don’t be afraid to fight for your 

child and their needs. While the professionals 

are experts in their areas, you are 

the expert on your child. 

Dr. Darla Clayton, PsyD, The Mobility 

Resource, writes from the perspective of a mom 

in the midst of raising a child with special needs 

and one without. For more information, visit 

abilities.com/community. 



Kid-friendly 

Favourites 

in Tofino 

Tofino is an awesome place to be 

a kid. There’s just so much fun to 

be had while exploring in and around 

Tofino. Check out this list of favourites 

to do with young explorers on your 

family vacation. 

• Take a boat ride to Meares Island 

and walk through the Big Tree Trail. 

• Attend a Parks Canada presentation 

at Green Point Campground Theatre, 

also in Pacific Rim National Park Reserve. 

Check for updates at pc.gc.ca/. 

• Roast wieners and marshmallows, 

build sandcastles, fly a kite. All to be 

done at the beach. 

• Rent boogie boards and wetsuits to 

hit the waves, or visit Tofino’s Skatepark 

(Tuff City Skate Park). 

• Take the family sea kayaking with a 

guide. 

• Head to the Raincoast Education 

Society, located in The Ecolodge at the 

Tofino Botanical Gardens, to find fun 

outdoor education activities. raincoasteducationsociety.org 

• While at the unconventional Tofino 

Botanical Gardens, explore the Children’s 

Garden and art installations that 

make a statement. westcoastnest.org 

• Observe Tidal Pools at Chesterman 

Beach or MacKenzie Beach (low tide 

required). 

• Visit the nautical-themed playground 

at the Village Green, between Second 

and Third Streets on Campbell Street. 

IslandParent.ca

• Find great children’s books, many of 

them written in British Columbia, at 

local bookstores and gift shops. 

• Go for a round of miniature golf at 

the Long Beach Golf Course. 

• Visit the Tuff City Bike Park, located 

up Arnet Road by the Community 

Centre. 

• Walk down to the Fourth Street Dock 

to witness a working dock in action 

with commercial and sport fishing 

boats, and whale/bear watching vessels. 

Please be sure to supervise children 

here. 

• Put on your raingear and boots and 

head to the beach, if you’re there at 

low tide, take a look in the tidal pools 

for an array of creatures. 

• Build a sandcastle and decorate it, 

use mussel shells for shovels. 

• Take a family bike ride—along the 

beach or the MUP (multi-use path). 

• Skip rocks on the inlet. 

• Go on a Family Fishing Excursion 

with Ocean Outfitters. 

• Travelling to Tofino during 

COVID-19, please review the 

information at tourismtofino.com. 

For more ideas and information about Tofino, 

visit tourismtofino.com. 



MOM’SPOV 


What happens when kids decide what to wear 

I 

like to think that my daughter’s stylish peak occurred 

sometime between birth and Kindergarten. It’s no coincidence 

that during this time period I had total control of 

her clothing. After that, I was fired as her stylist and became 

the fashion police. 

When she was a baby, I had fun dressing her up. I bought 

her cute onesies and baby tights with tutus built-in. I dressed 

her in mini jean jackets over summer dresses with tiny 

leather sandals to match. I drew the line at those large headbands 

people put on their babies to identify them as girls, but 

I wasn’t above other fashion trends. In those early years, she 

was more stylish than me. I was living in sweats with greasy 

hair due to lack of sleep and abysmal self care. 

Eventually my daughter started to have opinions about how 

she was dressed. Initially she objected to certain fabrics. Denim 

was “too tight” despite how adorable 

she looked in skinny jeans. She 

shunned practical, comfortable 

cotton for the stifling, 

unbreathable rayon of the 

dress-up clothes. 

And while she was rejecting 

her sophisticated 

wardrobe—curated by 

me—her own personal 

style started to emerge: 

Tacky Tourist meets 

Chrissy from Three’s 

Company. She was 

drawn to patterns, bold 

colours, layers and accessories. 

There was never a 

time when she looked at 

herself in the mirror and 

asked, “Is this too much?” 

Her personal hygiene also 

deteriorated. Brushing her fine 

hair became a painful exercise. 

One day I said she needed to 

brush her hair because it looked 

messy and she replied, “Mom, 

messy is just me.” Her entire look 

had gone from polished to hot mess. 

My stylish best friend has a 

daughter a year older than mine. 

I loved getting her hand-medowns 

knowing that I would be 

passing this fabulously dressed 

duo’s wonderful sense of style on 

to my own daughter. But when my 

daughter put on the same clothes, they 

looked all wrong. She layered patterns 

over patterns over patterns. Her peculiar 

take on fashion was undeniable. 

I discussed my bewilderment with friends 

one day when they pointed out that as the 

only one purchasing clothes for my daughter, 

I was her only access to clothing. They suggested 

I stop taking her shopping and toss out 


whatever I didn’t like. So I covertly weeded out the neon and 

bedazzled items from her closet. I bought only basics—no 

more patterns, faux fur or sequins. It didn’t work. My daughter 

found a work-around: shopping in the costume play bin 

and even items from her brother’s closet to accessorize her 

bland wardrobe. 

I realized that refining my daughter’s taste was hopeless. I 

decided to take my friend’s advice and create a clear boundary: 

kids get creative control over their clothing and parents 

get to decide what’s appropriate. I silently nodded when my 

daughter asked if I liked what she was wearing (neon shorts 

over jeans). But when she asked if I would buy her fishnet 

stockings, I did a mental scan of my jurisdiction and responded 

with a hard “no.” 

This division of control should have made the clothing 

struggles easier, but it didn’t feel that way. The real issue 

began to emerge: I had an opinion of what I thought looked 

best and I wanted her to wear that. My daughter also had an 

opinion and she wanted to wear that. She was dressing age 

appropriate, it was just quirky. 

While I bemoaned my daughter’s style, I also admired her 

whimsy and confidence. One morning after she assembled yet 

another puzzling outfit, I watched her admire herself in the 

mirror. It was the same look I had seen on my step-mother’s 

face a few years earlier when we were getting ready together 

in her bathroom. After my step-mom put the final touches 

on her makeup she stepped back from the mirror and said, 

“Wow, I am gorgeous.” 

Time stood still for me in that moment. I was a teenager 

again, hustling to feel pretty and accepted. Just like my birth 

mother, I was beautiful but struggled to know my worth. I 

wished that both my birth mother and I had loved ourselves 

as boldly and confidently as my step-mother loved herself. 

Now, as my daughter admired herself in the mirror that 

morning, I recognized that same confidence. Her style was 

not polished or trendy, but I could see that her capacity for 

self-love and self-acceptance was greater than I had ever 

known. And while being able to properly mix colours and 

patterns is a valuable skill to learn, the more important lessons 

were ones that I didn’t need to teach. They were already 

inside of my daughter: Be yourself. Love who you are. Wear 

what makes you feel good. Don’t care what other people 

think. 

Most days now, when my daughter appears in front of me 

ready for school and ask how she looks, I ask her what she 

thinks. She doesn’t need me policing her style. Looking and 

feeling good for her means using fashion for personal expression 

and creativity. In that sense, she may be more refined 

than me. 

Sarah Seitz is a working mother, writer 

and consumer of coffee and books—in that 

order. She writes about the messy and real 

parts of parenting and reveals her underbelly 

in her words. You can read more of 

Sarah’s writing at sarahseitz.ca. 



BYTE CAMP 

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A Goody Two-shoes’ 

Guide to Keepin’ 

It Cuss-free 

I 

can’t trace why, but I’ve never been 

much of a swearyface. 

Where many teens or twentysomethings, 

already educated in expletives, 

escalated to coffee (or stronger stuff) 

during the crunch of post-secondary 

education, that’s when I began swearing. 

This comes in especially helpful 

around youngins and the public (he 

says, as a media guy, like he’s not also 

part of “the public”), as soapymouth is 

my default state. 

I’ve heard many a horror story of toddlers 

learning to swear like proverbial 

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Even then, though, it was more of an 

unintentional outburst when things got 

really crazy. These days, I let the odd 

profanity fly around friends, but mostly 

keep it cuss-free on the reg. 

sailors because they heard it from their 

parents, and continuing to employ them 

in their regular vocabulary due to the 

reaction they get. 


I’ve also seen many a video of said youthful obscenities, 

because it’s tough to not get caught on someone’s phone these 

days. 

Let’s face it. Kidlets are going to swear, eventually. Be it 

something they pick up from family, friends, strangers, media, 

or the internet, it’s gonna happen, especially approaching the 

’tween and teen phase. And I’m equal to that. 

But, for my part (the part of a prude), I’d prefer that my 

little’s source for foul language not be me. And not from a 

deluded sense of superiority over others. It’s just that that’s 

not how I carry myself day-to-day. 

Plus…it’s been a lifelong amusement to find alternatives to 

common expletives. 

If it’ll help, I’ll share some of them with you here. 

The granddaddy of all cusses, the proverbial F-bomb, is 

most commonly replaced in my lexicon by the word “frick.” 

Use it in a sentence, you ask? Why, of course! *ahem* 

“Good crikey frick!” 

Other uses include, “frick off,” “what the frick?” and the 

ever-popular, “frickity frickin’ frick frack.” 

Depending on how interested your little ones are in Star 

Wars, a solid alternative might be “Good Babu Frik!” but 

don’t blame me if you get serious eye rolls for that. 

My second favourite not-swear is the S-word, most commonly 

associated with, um, poop. 

With all thanks to Germany, I exclaim “Scheiße!” (pronounced 

SHY-zuh) on a regular basis to express frustration. 

If something is an “S-word show,” it comes out of my 

mouth as a “gong show.” 

My parents used to say, “Ah, sugar!” but the cognitive dissonance 

of hearing the poop word replaced by the sweet word 

was too much for me to employ in my later years. 

Even the word “crap” or “crud,” I replace with “crunch,” 

thanks to Strong Bad from the Homestar Runner internet cartoons 

of the early aughts. 

And, because my international inspiration knows no 

bounds, my Chinese heritage requires by law that I exclaim, 

“Aiya!” as a form of verbal facepalm. 

And, while your mileage (kilometerage?) may vary, I’d be 

fine and dandy with my 11-year-old using any of these interjections 

in place of their more inappropriate originals. 

Perhaps I’m overthinking it. Perhaps I’m just an all-around 

goody two-shoes (legit; I neither drink nor smoke). Perhaps 

I love words (I seriously considered a career as an etymologist) 

and love using silly words in place of serious words even 

more. 

Thankfully, my overthinking, prudish, easily-amused, wordloving 

self is much less likely to be posted to the internet for 

saying “Oh, crunch!” in front of my child. 

Webmeister Bud Ridout is the resident 

geek at Victoria radio stations The Zone @ 

91-3 and 100.3 The Q! He’s also an avid photographer, 

root beer connoisseur, voice actor 

and Papa. webmeisterBud.com; instagram. 

com/webmeisterBud. 



KIDS’READS 

’Tween Reads 

Friendship, belonging and middle school drama 

Middle school isn’t always the easiest time. People 

change and friends change with them. For those who 

feel like they are being left behind, it can be heartbreaking. 

But these preteen years can also be a time where kids 

discover the strength within them, just like the characters in the 

following books. 

In The Collected Works of Gretchen Oyster by Cary Fagan 

(Penguin, 2019) Hartley Staples is in his final year of middle 

school. Things are not going well: his best friend is no longer 

Hartley Staples is not the only ’tween to have a friend randomly 

decide to abandon them. Delsie has to deal with that too 

in Shouting at the Rain by Lynda Mullaly Hunt (Nancy Paulson 

Books, 2019). The fact that Brandy dumped her for someone 

who loves to mock her, might not have bothered Delsie so 

much if her two other friends weren’t spending all of their time 

getting ready for Annie. Not to mention the fact that being 

dumped by someone she thought cares for her, only reminds 

her of someone else who left: her mother. 

speaking to him, and more importantly, he can’t concentrate on 

anything because his older brother ran away. While he’s trying 

to grapple with everything going on in his life, he spots a handmade 

postcard signed G.O. Soon, Hartley is spending every 

chance he gets looking for all of G.O.’s postcards. 

This book, which is told from both Hartley and G.O.’s perspectives, 

covers a wide variety of struggles that preteens may face 

like bullying, losing friends, and life after the loss of a sibling in 

an honest and relatable way. The Collected Works also shows 

tweens what they can do to make hard situations better even if 

they feel broken. For ages 10 to 14. 

Christina Van Starkenburg lives 

in Victoria with her husband, their two little 

boys and their cat Phillip. Her first children’s 

book One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour 

was published recently and quickly rose 

to its spot as a #1 new release on Amazon. 

While Delsie is struggling to figure out what to do without 

Brandy, she meets Ronan—the new kid who comes with a 

reputation for trouble. Since they’re both misfits, the two begin 

spending more time with each other and as they open up about 

their struggles they talk about the difference between anger and 

sadness, abandonment and love. For ages 8 to 12. 

Clan by Sigmund Brouwer (Tundra, 2020) does not take 

place in the present. Young Atlatl and the rest of his clan are 

working hard to survive during the ice age. However, Atlatl 

who was injured when he was a young child often feels like he’s 

more of a burden then a help to his clan. Because of his knee he 

can’t hunt with the rest of the men and his cousin mercilessly 

mocks him for that. 

One day when Atlatl is away from camp he encounters an 

orphaned saber-tooth cub and he brings it home with him. This 

choice, while accepted by some, ultimately leads to Atlatl’s 

banishment. However, before he is able to leave, a giant flood 

wipes out most of his clan. With only the saber-tooth cat beside 

him, Atlatl decides to go and face the gods so he can try and 

save what remains of the people who no longer want him. For 

ages 8 to 12. 

In Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time by Liz Kessler 


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(Candlewick Press, 2020), Emily, a halfmermaid, 

is trying to get back into a normal 

routine. But, now that she’s home, 

Mandy, her best friend on land, won’t 

speak to her. In fact, when asked what 

she did over the school break, Mandy 

pointedly says she had a lot of fun hanging 

out with someone else. 

So when Emily is given a magic wishing 

stone, she decides to make things 

right between her and Mandy. But, she 

learns very quickly that wishes don’t always 

work out the way one thinks they 

will. For ages 10 to 14. 

The final book is Shout Out for the 

Fitzgerald-Trouts by Esta Spalding (Tundra, 

2019). Ever since the five siblings 

lost the boat they were living in, Kim— 

the oldest—has put finding a new one on 

the top of her to-do list. Unfortunately, 

finding a place to call home doesn’t solve 

their problems the way they thought it 

would. It actually created a whole lot 

more problems. Problems that threaten 

to tear these tight-knit siblings apart. If 

your children loved a Series of Unfortunate 

Events, they will love this book 

about the Fitzgerald-Trout siblings. For 

ages 8 to 12. 

If we’re all stuck at home again this 

spring break and your preteens need a 

bit of a break from reality, these books 

are some pretty great choices. Some are 

adventurous. Some are silly. Some have 

a more literary feel. But they all feature 

preteens who are relatable, real, and going 

through some pretty common problems. 

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WHAT’SFORDINNER 

Naturally Beet-iful 

Beets may seem like an uninspiring 

vegetable. They are usually found 

in the grocery store with their tops 

cut off. It’s a slightly different story when 

they come from the farmer’s market with 

the beautiful red and green leaves still 

attached. However, most of us only think 

of beets as something you would roast in 

the oven. 

Beets have a lot more going for them 

than that! Here are few reasons beets 

should be part of your diet: 

1. They are beautiful. The naturally 

red colour turns any dish into a bright 

pink. Perfect for Valentine’s Day dinner 

or a food-colouring-free children’s party. 

2. They’re full of vitamins, minerals 

and antioxidants 

3. Beets are a good source of fibre. 

4. They’re heart healthy and help to 

lower blood pressure. 

Here are three delicious recipes that 

all feature beets. Perfect for a Valentine’s 

Day dinner or just adding a bit more pink 

to your life. 

Quick tip: To avoid dying your hands 

pink, wear kitchen gloves while chopping, 

peeling or grating the beets. 

Baba’s Simple Borscht 

Prep time 15 minutes; 

cook time 30 minutes 

This is a simple recipe for a creamy and satisfying 

borscht. Instead of providing the bulk of 

the flavour, like Polish or Czech borscht, beets 

are only one of the vegetables in this soup. 

White beans are not traditional, however, they 

turn this into a one-pot meal. 

1 medium onion 

2 carrots 

1 beet 

1⁄2 small cabbage 

1 ⁄4 cup butter 

398 ml can of chopped tomatoes 

5 cups water 

1 1 ⁄2 tsp salt 

3 russet potatoes 

1 ⁄4 cup whipping cream 

4 sprigs fresh dill or 2 Tbsp dried dill 

1 can white beans (optional) 

1. Finely chop the onions. Grate the carrots 

and the beets. Shred the cabbage. 

2. Melt the butter in the soup pot over 

medium heat. Add onions and fry for about 1 

minute before adding the carrots, beets and 

cabbage. Continue to fry until the cabbage is 

tender. 

3. Add the canned tomatoes, water and 

salt. 

4. Peel and halve the potatoes. Add them 

to the soup pot and boil until potatoes are 

tender, about 15 minutes. 

5. When the potatoes are cooked, use a 

slotted spoon to remove them from the soup. 

Place the potatoes in a large bowl and mash 

with the whipping cream. 

6. Stir the mashed potatoes back into the 

soup pot, along with the dill. Add the canned 

white beans if you want to turn the soup into 

a hearty meal. 

7. Heat the soup to warm up the beans, but 

do not boil. 

8. Taste and add more salt if needed. 

9. Serve with a slice of crusty bread and 

some cheddar cheese. 

Bright Pink Risotto 


cook time 30 minutes 

Risotto is a super simple one-pot meal that 

has the mystique of being complicated. Many 

recipes require continuous stirring, while the 

liquid is slowly added. This isn’t necessary unless 

you require perfection. You only need to 

stir a few times during the cooking process. 

Beets give this risotto a deep pink colour. 

I’ve included a small amount of red wine in 

the recipe to give it a traditional flavour, however, 

it can easily be replaced by more broth. 

Also, if you can’t find arborio rice, use any 

short-grained rice instead. 

4 cloves of garlic 

3 beets 

2 Tbsp olive oil 

1 3 ⁄4 cup arborio rice 

1⁄2 cup of red wine 

5 1 ⁄2 cups of stock 

2 Tbsp butter 

1⁄2 tsp salt, to taste 

1 1 ⁄2 cup of grated Parmesan cheese 

1. Dice the garlic. Peel and chop the beet 

into small cubes. 

2. Heat the oil on medium in a large pot. 

Add the garlic and beets with a pinch of salt. 

Fry for 2–3 minutes. 

3. Add the rice and cook for another 3 minutes, 

stirring occasionally to make sure the 

rice is nicely coated in oil. 

4. Reduce the heat to low and add in the 

red wine. Stir to mix well, then add in all of 

the stock. 

5. Cover and cook until the rice is soft and 

the liquid is absorbed, about 20–30 minutes. 

Stir 3–4 times during the cooking process to 

prevent any rice from sticking to the bottom 

of the pot. 

6. When the rice is cooked, remove from 

the heat and stir in the butter. Taste it and add 

more salt as needed (it will depend on the 

saltiness of the stock). 

7. Serve with freshly grated Parmesan 

cheese and a side salad. 


Beet Red Velvet Cupcakes 


bake time 25 minutes 

These red velvet cupcakes get their colour for 

the addition of beets! Beets add a rich, earthy 

flavour that perfectly compliments the chocolate. 

The resulting cupcakes have a texture 

similar to that of a carrot cake, with the flavour 

of a traditional chocolate cake. 

Serve them without frosting for a fun 

muffin-like snack or use cream cheese frosting 

for a party fun cake. 

Wet ingredients: 

1 large beet 

2 tsp lemon juice 

2 large eggs 

1⁄2 cup milk 

2 Tbsp honey 

2 tsp vanilla 

1⁄2 cup melted unsalted butter 

Dry ingredients: 

1 cup all-purpose flour 

1 ⁄2 cup whole wheat flour 

2 teaspoon baking soda 

1 teaspoon salt 

1⁄2 cup white sugar 

1⁄2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 

1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Line a muffin 

tin with liners. 

2. Either buy a pre-cooked beet at the grocery 

store or boil the beet whole. 

3. Finely grate the beet and mix with the 

lemon juice. Set aside. 

4. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together 

the eggs, milk, honey, melted butter, and 

vanilla. 

5. Add the dry ingredients and mix just until 

incorporated, being careful not to over mix. 

6. Fold in the beets. 

7. Divide the batter evenly among the muffin 

cups. 

8. Bake until golden brown, 22–25 minutes. 

Remove from the oven and let cool in 

the tin for 10 minutes before removing. 

We are looking for Caregivers 

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Registration for 2021 Summer Camps and 

Family Vacation rentals opens March 1st 


Emillie Parrish 

writes from Victoria and 

Saturna Island. She is 

the author of the Pacific 

Northwest lifestyle blog 

BerriesAndBarnacles.com. 

Contact Michael Washington, Resource Recruitment | 250.544.1400 |www.niltuo.ca 


The Saving ‘Grace’ 

of the Redo 

omorrow is a new day.” 

“T My mom has often used these words (memorably 

uttered by the irrepressible literary heroine, Anne Shirley) 

to placate and comfort me when things get to be too much. 

Throughout the gong show of 2020, and still today, I find 

myself using these very same words as a mantra—sometimes 

hopeful, sometimes desperate. But lately, as I continue to 

navigate this new reality of homeschooling, working from 

home, and pandemic restrictions with an increasingly headstrong 

5-year-old and chronically frayed nerves,“tomorrow” 

often doesn’t feel soon enough. 

This doesn’t mean that I am wishing the hours away. At 

least, not usually, although the countdown until bedtime is 

more exciting some days than others. Rather, in this new 

pressure-cooker environment it is harder to be responsive 

and intentional vs reactive and unhinged, and there are 

many, many times when I wish there were an instant reset 

button so that I could handle a situation with more kindness 

and calm, with less crankiness and exasperation. 

These are the days when my parenting falls short of my 

ideal. My voice gets a little louder than I’d like (usually 

after the kazillionth time of calmly asking for shoes to be 

donned, toys to be picked up, or the pets to be left alone). 

Or I overlook the warning signs of an impending meltdown 

and dig my heels in when I should be softening. Or I catch 

myself saying “no” as a reflex, shutting down before I listen. 

Parenting is hard. Parenting under additional stress, and 

doing it “perfectly,” is impossible. 

Like many, I struggle with anxiety, which often appears as 

a nagging, chastising voice telling me I am not enough, that 

I’m failing, that I’m letting my son down. During his first 

several years I let that voice lead me along spirals of catastrophic 

thinking and paralyzing panic. Fortunately, thanks 


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to counseling and help from my doctor, I’m now better at 

recognizing the warning signs and take proactive steps to 

manage it. I’ve learned that listening to that needling voice 

does not serve anyone except for Anxiety itself. 

Of course, our extra-ordinary circumstances (at least at 

the point of writing this) have not made managing my mental 

health any easier, and this pandemic doesn’t seem to be 

going away anytime soon. I often find myself drawing on 

the power of wisdom which has been shared in many different 

ways by others, essentially: you can’t always control 

your circumstances, but you can control your perspective, 

which in turn can influence your response. 

Stress piles up and spills over. It happens to the calmest 

parents. Anxiety or not, beating ourselves up every time we 

get testy is not helpful and can lead to more of the same 

reaction. 

So, here is what is helping right now: 

Even though there is no such thing as an actual reset 

button, I’m getting better at stopping, breathing, and giving 

myself (and my son) the grace to try a “redo.” This 

perspective shift is sometimes all it takes to diffuse a heated 

exchange or get a bad day back onto a positive track. I literally 

pause and say, “I don’t like how this is making us feel. 

Let’s try this again.” 

At the root of this grace is my love for my son and my 

desire to do my best for him. Shaming either of us for a mistake 

(a raised voice, impatience, etc…) doesn’t serve him, 

or me. We’re both learning to forgive ourselves (and each 

other) and do better next time. The redo gives us a chance 

to do better right away. 

And when all else fails, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow 

is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” – L.M. Montgomery 

(Note: I strongly encourage anyone who is struggling to 

reach out for help from a medical or mental health professional. 

There is no shame in it, and you will probably be 

shocked to realize how many people are dealing with anxiety 

and depression, especially during these unprecedented 

times. You are most definitely not alone, and it does get 

better). 

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, 

teacher and fledgling mother living in Comox, 

BC. Writer: kellymcquillanwriter.weebly.com; 

Music Teacher: kellymcquillan.com. 



FEB/MARFAMILYCALENDAR 

For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca 

FEBRUARY 

6 SATURDAY 

Terrarium Garden for Kids 

1:30-3pm, Horticulture Centre of the Pacific 

Get creative as you learn about the needs of little 

plants and what better place to grow them than in 

an upcycled glass container. Bring a glass bowl, 

vase, jar or other container (up to 20 cm in size) 

and see what you can create. Children under 7 

years must be accompanied by an adult. You provide 

the glass container and we provide the rest. 

hcp.ca 

10 WEDNESDAY 

Wandering Words: Outdoor Nuu-chahnulth 

Language Exploration 

Virtual Zoom meeting, 3-4:30pm 

Join Raincoast Education Society to learn about 

the local language and world view. Explore writing 

systems and sounds and enjoy a glimpse into 

the significance of the official language of this 

place, the ƛaʔuukʷiʔatḥ / Tla-o-qui-aht language 

of Nuu-chah-nulth. 

raincoasteducation.org 

16 TUESDAY – 27 SATURDAY 

Storywalk at the Museum 

All day, Sooke Region Museum 

Join the Vancouver Island Regional Library for 

an outdoor StoryWalk ® at the Sooke Region 

Museum. Enjoy the fresh air, physical activity and 

a story. This month’s book: The Darkest Hour by 

Chris Hadfield & Kate Fillion; illustrations by Eric 

Fan & Terry Fan in honour of I Read Canadian 

Day (ireadcanadian.com ) on February 17. 

virl.bc.ca 

17 WEDNESDAY 

I Read Canadian Day 

Celebrate I Read Canadian Day on February 17 

and support Canadian literature. “Read Canadian” 

for 15 minutes and share your experience at 

your library, in your school, with your families and 

friends, or on social media. Kids are encouraged 

to read, or be read to, a Canadian book of their 

choice. Sign up for free. 

ireadcanadian.com 

Dumbledore’s Army 

3:30-4:30pm, online (Port Alberni Branch 

Library) 

Join Dumbledore’s Army once a month on Zoom 

to make some magical crafts and participate in 

fun activities with fellow Harry Potter fans. Not a 

member yet? Register: kparker@virl.bc.ca. 

virl.bc.ca 

18 THURSDAY 

Parent & Tot Meetup 

10-10:45, Art Gallery of Greater Victoria 

A meetup for parents and their children (5 and 

under) to explore the Art Gallery spaces in a safe 

way. Enjoy a facilitated visit to the Gallery with 

your little one. 

aggv.ca 

Photo: Sariena Pauli 


20 SATURDAY 

Outdoor Fairy Garden 

10-11:30am, Horticulture Centre of the Pacific 

Using a selection of winter hardy plants, you will 

create an outdoor fairy garden for your deck, your 

balcony or garden. Parents are welcome to attend. 

Limit: 8. 5+ years (under 7 with an adult). 

hcp.ca 

Tea Cup Fairy Garden 

1:30-3:30pm, Horticulture Centre of the Pacific 

Learn how to incorporate tiny plants and elements 

of design into these little fairy gardens 

for indoor use. Explore the needs of plants and 

how to care for them in a miniature setting while 

providing a magical place for wee garden visitors! 

Parents are welcome to attend. Limit: 8. 5 years + 

(under 7 years accompanied by an adult). 

hcp.ca 

27 SATURDAY 

Photo: submitted by Sarah Taylor of her daughter Avery, 5 

Bubble Buddies 

10am–noon, Nanaimo Museum 

Explore the museum with an exclusive guide who 

can answer your history questions one on one, 

who can show you items not normally on display, 

or can share behind the scenes stories. Visit 

alone, or with any other members of your “bubble,” 

up to 6 people. One group ticket/time slot. 

nanaimomuseum.ca 

ALL MONTH 

Reaching Out 

Nanaimo Museum 

Throughout the pandemic, we’ve been relying 

on modern technology to stay connected, but 

throughout history, Canadians have used letter 

writing to communicate with loved ones. This 

month, the Nanaimo Museum is encouraging 

you to go back to the basics. Use the museum’s 

template to write a letter through Reaching Out, a 

self-guided virtual program for all ages, to catch 

up and check in with your family. 


Hogs n Hearts 

Nanaimo Museum 

The Nanaimo Museum has been overrun with 

groundhogs and hearts to celebrate both Groundhog 

Day and Valentines’ Day. While you’re visiting 

the museum during the month of February, keep 

a sharp eye to spot all 9 groundhogs and 5 hearts 

hidden around the exhibits. Take a selfie with 

your favourite. 


MARCH 

2 TUESDAY – 5 FRIDAY 

Paper Bag Princess Day 

Mark your calendars, the annual Paper Bag Princess 

Day is back on March 6. There’s also Paper 

Bag Princess Theme Week happening March 

2–5, with celebrations across social media and 

for educators. This year’s theme is Rebuilding the 

Castle. 

annickpress.com 

12–14, 19–21, 26–28 

Weekend Family Vacation Rental 

Looking for a Spring Break vacation close to 

home? Camp Pringle is offering weekend family 

vacation rentals. Enjoy lakefront accommodations, 

hike or bike the nearby trails, have a campfire 

and even try archery or rock climbing. Online 

bookings open February 15; prices start at $120/ 

weekend. 

camppringle.com 

30 TUESDAY 

Virtual Baking Club 

4-5pm, Vancouver Island Regional Library 

(online) 

Do you like to bake? Then join our new Virtual 

Baking Club! Each month, VIRL will have a theme 

to inspire you to make different baked goods. 

Try a new recipe or make one of your favourites 

and then join the Zoom session at the end of the 

month to share the recipe and what you made 

with everyone else. Register: kparker@virl.bc.ca. 

virl.bc.ca 

ONGOING 

LEGO Brick Exhibition 

Sidney Museum 

The LEGO exhibition continues at Sidney Museum 

until March 31. Or watch the Museum’s Facebook 

Live videos featuring different Lego sets that are 

currently have on display. Join the education 

programmer to see all of the details, features and 

hidden treasures that you have to get up close 

to see. 

sidneymuseum.ca 

Virtual Babytime 

Tuesdays 10:30–10:45am, Vancouver Island 

Regional Library, all branches 

Have a rhyming good time ONLINE as we introduce 

you and your baby to music, rhymes, bounces, 

fingerplays and stories. Geared towards 

babies ages 0–18 months. Join the Storytime 

Corner Facebook Group for virtual babytime. 

virl.bc.ca 

Virtual Storytime 

Mondays and Fridays, 10:30-10:45am, Vancouver 

Island Regional Library, all branches 

Songs, stories, fingerplay, puppets and more. 

Preschoolers (and their families) are invited to join 

the Storytime Corner Facebook Group for virtual 

storytime. 

virl.bc.ca 



NATURENOTES 

Woodpecker Castle & 

the Hidden Lives of Trees 

During your forest wanderings, you have probably stumbled 

upon a dead tree or two. No, not a log, not simply 

a rotten stump or remnant of a tree that once inhabited a 

space, but rather a refuge for a wide range of life: a Wildlife Tree. 

You may know these natural monoliths by a different name; such 

as snag, den tree or cavity tree. I prefer the name Wildlife Tree 

due to the image it evokes of a bustling entity just waiting to be 

observed. Far be it from a state of mourning; with their death, 

trees bring forth opportunity for new life. 

Once a tree has died, many things are able to occur, including 

the magic of decomposition. Invertebrates, bacteria and fungi 

break down the tree for energy, and as they do, these nutrients are 

cycled back into the soil system, allowing for new growth. More 

often than not, a Wildlife Tree will have fungi springing up all 

over and within it with fruiting bodies—mushrooms—on display 

in autumn. The arrival of the decomposers is followed closely by 

primary cavity nesters looking for a snack and nesting site. These 

are the creatures that excavate a hole in the dead tree as a nesting 

site in preparation for raising the next generation. You guessed it; 

I’m referring to woodpeckers! 

Here on Vancouver Island we are fortunate to have a multitude 

of woodpeckers, ranging from the toy-like Red Breasted sap sucker, 

to the regal Pileated woodpecker that inspired the most popular 

woodpecker of all—Woody, of course! Woodpeckers forage 

for food by clinging to the side of a tree with their specialized feet 

and drilling their beak so fast, that it is a shock they aren’t dizzy. 

Depending on the species, they may then extend their extraordinarily 

long tongue into the larvae filled hole in the tree to collect 

their reward. The woodpeckers tongue also doubles as protection 

from brain damage during pecking, as it is so long that is actually 

wraps around the skull when not in use! 

Woodpeckers may drill a distinct pattern of holes into the tree 

to draw out sticky sap which will act as a trap to collect insects 

for a crunchy buffet later on. In contrast to arboreal woodpeckers, 

the Northern flicker is often seen on the ground foraging for 

ants. However, like all woodpeckers, you can still count on the 

flicker to drum out a distinct beat on the nearest wooden surface 

to announce its territory or impress a potential mate. 

Most local woodpeckers are distinct enough to decipher from 

each other except for our checkered friends; the Hairy woodpecker 

and the slightly smaller and shorter billed Downy woodpecker. 

Industrious Downy woodpeckers are able to excavate an en- 

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tirely new cavity for nesting in about 16 days, and they do this 

every time they nest. Often, woodpecker parents will line their 

nesting cavity with wood chips as well as use moss and lichen to 

conceal the entrance to create the safest home possible. 

Typically the primary cavity nesters only use the hole they 

have created for one nesting season, which leaves an inviting, 

unoccupied home perfect for the next candidate. Secondary cavity 

nesters of the avian variety range from tiny Saw Whet owls, 

Chestnut-Backed chickadees, nuthatches, creepers, wrens and 

Tree swallows to larger kestrels, Wood ducks and even Great 

Horned owls. The list goes on and on when discussing the birds 

who take advantage of cavities made by others. 

Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary is lucky enough to 

host an abundance of Wildlife Trees that provide ample opportunity 

for exploration. My personal favorite? Woodpecker Castle! 

Nestled in the field just North East of the lake, this Swan Lake 

gem can be found if you follow the trail from the Nature House 

clockwise. Once you emerge from the trees and take in the view 

of what was previously used as farmland, you will notice a lone 

dead Douglas fir piercing the landscape. This palace is Woodpecker 

Castle. 

While I don’t always see the activity that is constantly happening 

at Woodpecker Castle, I always love to stop with groups 

of visitors and take a few minutes to dive into the importance of 

Wildlife Trees. On Vancouver Island there are several of our fellow 

mammals, some endangered, that also rely on Wildlife Trees. 

Many of our Island bat species, such as the darling Little Brown 

bat and the regal Hoary bat use these Wildlife Trees as roosts. 

These havens provide a safe place for our local vampire hunters 

to rest during the day, before they spend parts of the night feasting 

on pesky blood-sucking mosquitos. The Little Brown bat is 

recorded to eat up to 1,000 insects per hour so they certainly need 

uninterrupted sleep during the day! 

Another charismatic mammal that frequently calls Wildlife 

Trees their home are mama raccoons with their kits. While her 

kits are still too small to go on scavenging missions, mama raccoon 

needs to be sure her babies are kept in a safe place. Where is 

safer than a warm hovel in a dead tree? 

During your next nature outing, I encourage you to look 

closely at what you may have previously regarded as a tree past 

their prime. Listen and you may be rewarded with the kingfisher 

like call of the Downy woodpecker, or the drumming of an opinionated 

Pileated woodpecker. Perhaps you will catch a flash of 

orange if you are still enough, and you will know you are in the 

presence of a Northern flicker. Wildlife Trees are full of more 

life than living trees, but they do require the viewer to look past 

their misleading exterior to be rewarded. Look closely, and your 

reward could be great! 

Kalene Lillico is a Program Naturalist at 

Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary. 

She can often be found searching for forest 

wisdom, and creatures of the many-legged 

variety, under logs and rocks. 



HAPPYFAMILIESHEALTHYFAMILIES 

Healthy Families, Happy Families 

Child, Youth 

& Family 

Public Health 

South Island Health Units 

Esquimalt 250-519-5311 

Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton) 

Peninsula 250-544-2400 

Saanich 250-519-5100 

Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 

Sooke 250-519-3487 

Victoria 250-388-2200 

West Shore 250-519-3490 

Central Island Health Units 

Duncan 250-709-3050 

Ladysmith 250-755-3342 

Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 

Nanaimo 250-755-3342 

Nanaimo 250-739-5845 

Princess Royal 

Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 

Port Alberni 250-731-1315 

Tofino 250-725-4020 

North Island Health Units 

Campbell River 250-850-2110 

Courtenay 250-331-8520 

Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 

‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 

Port Hardy 250-902-6071 

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ 

health-unit-locations 

Changes with BC Medical Services Plan 

premiums mean that families eligible for partial 

payment of some medical services and access 

to some income-based programs now must 

apply for Supplementary Benefits through the 

Government of BC. Applications can be done 

online and take approximately 15 minutes. 

Families who previously qualified for MSP 

Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply 

if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to 

confirm coverage before proceeding with 

treatment to avoid paying out of pocket. 

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ 

content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ 

bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits 

Fostering Healthy 

Body Image 

Body image issues can develop at 

a young age, impacting a child’s 

ability to enjoy life and form close 

relationships. Body image is developed 

through the messages we hear from others 

and those we tell ourselves, how we 

see ourselves in the mirror, messages we 

receive from the media and social media, 

and how we feel in our bodies as we 

move. 

A healthy body image and positive selfesteem 

promotes: 

• Feelings of confidence 

• Willingness to try new things 

• Ability to make new friends 

• Ability to deal with stress 

• Assertiveness skills and being less 

vulnerable to bullying 

The Social Media Fallout 

Constantly accessible images portrayed 

and shared on social media platforms 

like Instagram, tik tok, magazines and e- 

zines, and Facebook have a strong impact 

on how we view ourselves. Unrealistic 

images can have a negative effect on how 

you and your children view their lives 

and their body which can produce feelings 

of low self-worth or self-esteem. 

“… negative body image is not just a 

‘girls’ problem.’ Children of all genders 

are vulnerable… the attitudes expressed 

by adults in your child’s life matter” 

~ Kelty Mental Health 

Every day unrealistic images of the 

‘ideal body’ bombard media and social 

media platforms - be it the pencil thin 

model or a sculpted ‘Dorito’ with a huge 

chest and shoulders and washboard abdominal 

muscles. This look is “achieved” 

by only 1 per cent of the population and 

it is usually accomplished with much help 

from digital, physical and/or cosmetic 

enhancements. That means the remaining 

99 per cent come in various shapes 

and sizes. Teaching yourself and your 

family to be critical of messages in the 

media promotes skills that help them set 

realistic expectations for themselves and 

others. 

Strategies That Help Children 

Feel Good About Themselves 

Role modelling healthy behaviours and 

attitudes is one the most important things 

you can do to help your child develop a 

positive body image. 

In order to do this, it’s important to 

understand your own attitudes towards 

food, exercise and your body. Consider 

these questions: As a parent or caregiver, 

what are the messages you’re sending? 

Are you dissatisfied with your shape, size 

and weight? If so, do you talk about it? 

Are you always on, or talking about going 

on, a diet? Do you express guilt when 

you eat certain foods or make negative 

comments about what other people eat 

or look like? Having an awareness of 

one’s own attitudes can help pivot your 

responses and guidance related to healthy 

body image. 

• Place less emphasis on your child’s 

appearance and more on their abilities 

and skills. 

• Help your child understand that their 

body will change, especially throughout 

puberty. 

• Accept your body and maintain a 

positive attitude towards food and exercise. 

• Make time for family meals and enjoy 

time spent being active together. 

• Avoid categorizing foods as “good” 

or “bad”. Labelling foods as “forbidden” 

only makes that food more desirable. 

Instead label foods as “every day” or 

“sometimes” foods. 

• Listen and respond to your hunger 

and fullness cues: eat when you are hun- 


gry, stop when you are full. Teach your 

child to do the same. 

• Remind yourself and your child that 

healthy eating is flexible. It allows for 

sometimes eating more than your body 

needs or occasionally eating foods that 

might not be considered healthy. Your 

body will make up for it later. It’s more 

important to look at the big picture. Ask 

yourself: Did I and my child make mostly 

good choices over the course of the week/ 

month? Do I usually stop eating when 

I’m full? 

• Avoid using food as a punishment 

or a reward as it gives food more importance 

than nourishing the body. Reward 

good behaviour with non-food items 

such as extra playtime, a hug, a smile or 

any other positive encouragement. 

• Think and encourage your child to 

think critically about messages and images 

they see and hear in the media. 

When it comes to screen time think 

quality over quantity. For example, online 

learning, homework and keeping in 

touch with family and friends via Zoom, 

Skype FaceTime can be quality time 

spent; whereas eight hours of TV/movies, 

gaming and social media exchanges, may 

People with a positive body image recognize and accept that: 

• Healthy bodies come in different shapes and sizes. 

• Body size and weight do not predict happiness, success, or health. 

• People are more than numbers on a scale; every person is a unique individual 

with admirable talents, skills, and abilities. 

• Images in the media are unrealistic and are created to sell products. 

not be. Limit non-essential screen time to 

less than two hours per day. 

• Teach your child that it is okay to 

show emotions such as sadness, anger, 

and frustration. 

Being a positive role model for healthy 

behaviours supports children to become 

all they can be and more. Trust that your 

child’s inner confidence and personal 

power will develop over time. 

For more information visit: 

• Kelty Mental Health Raising Kids 

with a Healthy Body Image: A Guide for 

Parents of Young Children keltymentalhealth.ca 

• MediaSmarts Information that will 

help you talk to your kids about media 

images. mediasmarts.ca/ 

• Unlock Food Article: How to Raise 

Kids with a Healthy Body Image unlockfood.ca/en/default.aspx 

CHILD YOUTH & FAMILY 

PUBLIC HEALTH 

Areli Hermanson is a 

Public Health Dietitian who 

understands firsthand that 

when surrounded by food 

rules, chronic dieters, emotional 

eaters and food shamers, body image issues 

can develop at a young age. She is a mom 

of two very active boys who she hopes grow up 

body-positive towards themselves and others. 

Free program 

for families with 

ANXIOUS 

children ages 3–12 

Confident Parents: Thriving Kids - Anxiety is a web- and 

phone-based coaching service helping parents and caregivers 

learn effective skills and strategies for managing anxiety. 

It’s available by referral from physicians, teachers, school 

counsellors, psychologists, clinicians and pediatricians. 

Referrals can be made online at 

confidentparents.ca 



PRESCHOOL&CHILDCAREDIRECTORY 

v Comprehensive programs for 

Preschool through Grade 11 

v Delivering academic excellence through 

music, dance, drama and visual arts 

v Outstanding educators, 

locations and facilities 

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 

Castleview Child Care........... 250-595-5355 

Learning Through Play & Discovery. 

Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. 

Morning or full-time care. 

castleviewchildcarecentre.com 

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare 

& Jr. Kindergarten..................250-383-5132 

ECE and specialist teachers provide an 

outstanding all day licensed program for 

2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and 

Gordon Head locations. 

cathedralschool.ca 

Cloverdale Child Care............250-995-1766 

Come join us in our preschool programs for 

fun and learning. Classes 9:30 to 1:30, we offer 

3 and 4 year old classes and a Mon to Fri 

multiage preschool class. Flexible schedule 

available. Located at Quadra and Cloverdale 

streets. cloverdalechildcare@shawbiz.ca 

La Pré-Maternelle 

Appletree Preschool...............250-479-0292 

French immersion preschool. Group child 

care programs. 30 months to school age. 

Christian centre. 

prematernelleappletree.com 

Nightingale Preschool & 

Junior Kindergarten Ltd........ 250-595-7544 

We offer education through creativity and play, providing 

rich learning experiences through a well sourced 

and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early 

years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. 

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca 

Pre-School 

Junior Kindergarten 

PacificChristian.ca 

250-479-4532 

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God 

Ready Set Grow Preschool.....250-472-1530 

Join our learning through play preschool located 

in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer 

an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a 

week and help with kindergarten transition. 

heoscmanager@gmail.com 

Photo: @yew.photography (Emily) 

Sir James Douglas 

Preschool.............................250-389-0500 

Fun, creative and educational ECE program 

for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life 

long skills. Come play and learn in our bright 

and modern centre in Fairfield. 

sjdoutofschoolclub.com 

Victoria Montessori.............. 250-380-0534 

Unique, innovative learning environment 

combining the best of Montessori and 

Learning Through Play. Open year round. 

30mths–K. 

victoriamontessori.com 

Island Kids Academy 

Esquimalt..............................250-381-2929 

High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched 

Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and 

Character Development using the Virtues 

Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca 

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten 

Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and 

Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is 

a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. 

St. Margaret’s School 

250-479-7171 | admissions@stmarg.ca 

722 Johnson St,Victoria,BC 

250.415.9974 

willowbraeacademy.com 

email@willowbraechildcare.com 

We implement 

a play-based 

curriculum where 

our trained professionals 

develop 

and adapt individual 

programs 

by observing 

and listening 

to your child. 

Child Care 

Resource & Referral 

Funded by the Province of BC 

Your community’s best source 

of child care information 

and resources. 

Looking for child care? 

Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? 

Taking care of children? 

Need child care training? 

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources. 

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 

Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-217-7479 

Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 

PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres 


Victoria & Area Peninsula Westshore Duncan & Area Nanaimo & Area 

Carrot Seed Preschool...........250-658-2331 

Where children can discover, imagine, 

construct and learn through play. 

Wondrous natural playground. 

carrotseedpreschool.com 

The first steps in 

your child’s education 

Call for more information today: 250.746.3654 

Island Montessori House....... 250-592-4411 

Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool 

and Before/After School Care programs. 

Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature 

and outdoor environmental activities. 

islandmontessori.com 

Queen Margaret’s School........250-746-4185 

Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed 

nurturing curriculum to develop the whole 

child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. 

qms.bc.ca. 

Sidney Preschool 

We are a licensed co-operative preschool 

with a philosophy of learning through play! 

Four hour program, four days per week, for 

children ages 2.5-5 years. Celebrating 49 

years! sidneypreschoolteacher@gmail.com, 

sidneypreschool.com 

Sunrise Waldorf School 

Preschool...............................250-743-7253 

In a warm environment, this nature and 

play-based program enlivens and 

nurtures the growing child. 

sunrisewaldorfschool.org 

Photo: Virginia Spencer Skow 

Photo: Karen Maxwell Eddy 

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years 

• Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available 

• 3 and 4 hour morning classes 

Encouraging your child’s development and 

learning through play and exploration 

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org 

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12 

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca 

NANAIMO’ S JK–12 INTERNATIONAL 

BACCALAUREATE WORLD SCHOOL 

Island Kids Academy 

View Royal........................... 250-727-2929 

High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched 

Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and 

Character Development using the Virtues 

Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca 

Little Star Children’s Centre...........250-752-4554 

Little Gems Infant & Toddler Care..250-228-5437 

Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth 

friendly preschool education inspired by nature. 

Infused with fun and creative daily yoga 

practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic 

ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca 

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award 

winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! 

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy 

our dedicated team of educators use the environment 

as the third teacher as we encourage your child 

throughout their day. 

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the 

trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website! 

lexieslittlebears.ca 

Waitlist: 250-590-3603 

Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age. 

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education. 



CUTITOUT! 

Don’t Just Do Something, 

Stand There 

At times, the most powerful action you can take is to do 

or say nothing. Take a moment to think about the last 

unfavourable exchange you’ve had with your partner 

or children. Now, take the content out and look at the pattern 

of behaviour. Don’t think about what you were arguing about; 

how were you arguing? Did a family member criticize you? 

How did you respond? Did you defend yourself? Emotional 

systems run in families and are kept going with our participation 

in unconscious reactions. We don’t see these patterns, but 

they play out, especially during times of stress. Understanding 

this and working for personal change within the system creates 

a powerful shift for you and your family. 

So how could this look? Imagine your child asks to do 

something, and you tell them they can’t do it. They criticize 

you, “You are the worst parent in the world.” If you react, 

you might say, “How dare you talk to me that way after all the 

things I do for you!” Therein lies the pattern; criticism and defence. 

It keeps the system reactions at play. Try this instead, “I 

know; I’m the worst parent on the planet.” You respond with 

less seriousness and avoid arguing to defend yourself. If you 

think that this is letting your child get away with something, 

you are right. They are left hearing what they said. When you 

argue, they are left hearing you argue. They don’t have to face 

their own behaviour. 

These hard-wired emotional patterns are typical in all relationships, 

but strangely, they damage and even destroy relationships. 

When we go into a defensive position, we move to the 

fight or flight position. In that defensive state of mind, we don’t 

care about how the other person feels or consider their needs. 

Emotional reactivity is like throwing a hot potato between family 

members. The problems don’t get resolved, but the intensity 

of emotion pings back and forth. 

Next time you find yourself in a power struggle or reacting to 

a criticism, take five seconds to notice what is happening. Seek 

calmness by taking a breath. Do something different and break 

the pattern. What would doing something different look like? 

Shrugging your shoulders? Being less serious? Finding some 

truth in what the person is saying? Seeing their point of view? 

Doing nothing but standing there? 

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, 

counsellor and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living 

in Families Effectively), lifeseminars.com. 

For LIFE Seminars Parenting Courses on 

Facebook, visit facebook.com/lifeseminars. 


Royal BC Museum members 

receive unlimited access to galleries and 

feature exhibitions including 

OPENS 

APR 16 

2021 

Become a 

member today! 

PURCHASE NOW AT rbcm.ca/join 


Exhibition produced by the 

Royal BC Museum in partnership 

with Museums Partner 


Island Catholic Schools 

Catholic Education on Vancouver Island is a system rich in tradition and history 

dating back to the mid-nineteenth century. Island Catholic Schools is a dynamic 

community of schools having a strong reputation for academic excellence, 

instilling Catholic values and building community. We are committed to 

educating the “whole” child in a Christ-centered community of learning. 

St. Joseph’s 

(Pre-K to Grade 7) 

757 W Burnside Rd, Victoria 

250-479-1232 

www.stjosephschool.ca 

Email: sjv@cisdv.bc.ca 

Please contact the school 

for a private tour. 

St. Patrick’s School 

(K to Grade 7) 

2368 Trent St, Victoria 

250-592-6713 

www.stpatrickselem.ca 

Email: sp@cisdv.bc.ca 

Tours by appointment 

February 1–5. 

St. Andrew’s 

Regional High School 

(Grade 8–12) 

880 McKenzie Ave, Victoria 

250-479-1414 

www.standrewshigh.ca 

Email: sarhs@cisdv.bc.ca 

Please visit our website 

for a Virtual Open House. 

Queen of Angels 


2085 Maple Bay Rd, Duncan 

250-746-5919 

www.queenofangels.ca 

Email: qa@cisdv.bc.ca 

Please visit our website for a 

Virtual Tour & Kindergarten 

Information Night. 

St. John Paul II 


4006 8th Ave, Port Alberni 

250-723-0637 

www.jp2nd.ca 

Email: jp2@cisdv.bc.ca 

Please contact the school 

for a private tour. 

Call today for registration information 

K to 12, Pre-school, Day Care, Out of School Care for September 2021 

250-727-6893 or visit cisdv.bc.ca

Island Parent February/March 2021

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