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Love thyself<br />
For many, the concept of self-love might conjure<br />
images of tree-hugging hippies or cheesy selfhelp<br />
books. But author, publisher and motivational<br />
speaker, Nelisile Shozana says self-love and<br />
compassion are key to mental health and well-being.<br />
Text: Bronwyn forbes-hardinge<br />
The driving force behind a successful<br />
publishing company with six books<br />
(exploring life, relationships, selfconfidence,<br />
forgiveness and healing)<br />
and a newly launched clothing<br />
range under her belt, Nelly (as she is<br />
affectionately known) is a 36-year-old<br />
singleton who walks with her head<br />
held high.<br />
She is fiercely passionate about<br />
helping people work out what they<br />
really want and empowering them<br />
to find meaning in their lives. “I’m an<br />
open book and ‘people’s person’. I talk<br />
a lot, LOL! But I am passionate about<br />
what I do and I am not afraid of any<br />
challenge.”<br />
Nelly was born and raised in<br />
Pietermaritzburg, but is now a<br />
dedicated Durbanite. She has a BA<br />
degree in Community and Health<br />
Psychology and is a certified life<br />
coach. She also spent 11 years in the<br />
South African National Defence Force<br />
(following her yearning to save the<br />
world), until, she says, she realised<br />
that chasing her dreams was far more<br />
important than chasing bad guys.<br />
“I loved playing games and socialising<br />
as a child, until one day I lost a game<br />
and everybody made fun of me. I was<br />
the joke of the town and I remember<br />
that feeling of failure affected me. I<br />
stopped playing games, debating at<br />
school and refused to participate in<br />
anything that involved winning or<br />
losing. I developed a major low selfesteem.”<br />
While it was never her dream to work<br />
in the defence force, Nelly says she<br />
enjoyed both the job and the lifestyle.<br />
She learnt punctuality, discipline,<br />
unity… and she found peace and<br />
forgiveness and began to grasp that there was so much more in life that she<br />
wanted and needed to explore.<br />
“The experience opened my eyes and I realised I was not doing anyone any<br />
favours by playing small … especially not myself. I wanted to try new things. So, I<br />
resigned. I had more important dreams to follow.”<br />
A contributing factor to her struggles was the fact that Nelly had an absent father<br />
growing up. She carried a great deal of anger, which she says played a major role<br />
in her determination to help others find forgiveness.<br />
“The rejection I faced from my father had a huge effect on my transgression<br />
from a child to an adult. I was hurt and bitter and years after he’d passed, I found<br />
myself praying for the strength to forgive him. I thank God for my mother who<br />
did her best to raise me as a single parent with the resources she had. She is a<br />
huge inspiration.”<br />
Her own life challenges, Nelly says, have been the driving force behind her<br />
success as an author and a motivational speaker. Her books, entitled ‘Dismissing<br />
Excuses’, ‘Single at 34’, ‘A Self-assured Woman’, ‘Failed Relationship Lessons Learnt’,<br />
‘A Perfect Imperfect Me’ and ‘Tales of a Broken-Heart: Forgiveness and Healing’,<br />
are all the result of life experiences she’s written about in order to inspire others.<br />
Her goal is to help people stop making excuses for living mediocre lives, to get<br />
to know themselves and be authentic and to let go of negative experiences from<br />
the past and allow for healing.<br />
26 Get It • <strong>Highway</strong> • Berea • Durban North February 20<strong>21</strong>
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