Kidney Matters - Issue 12 Spring 2021
Kidney Matters is our free quarterly magazine for everyone affected by kidney disease. This issue includes a tribute to Kidney Care UK Chair of Trustees Professor Donal O'Donoghue who passed away due to covid-19 at the start of the year. There's also a feature on sex and relationships, how your views helped shape covid-19 national policy, medical articles on anaemia and simultaneous pancreas and kidney transplantation, and a feature interview with a transplant recipient on some of the social stigmas often faced by people with chronic health conditions within the Black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) community. As well as this, we'll be looking back at two years of the Kidney Kitchen as we cook up a tasty tandoori with guest chef and RNG dietitian, Gabby Ramlan.
Kidney Matters is our free quarterly magazine for everyone affected by kidney disease.
This issue includes a tribute to Kidney Care UK Chair of Trustees Professor Donal O'Donoghue who passed away due to covid-19 at the start of the year. There's also a feature on sex and relationships, how your views helped shape covid-19 national policy, medical articles on anaemia and simultaneous pancreas and kidney transplantation, and a feature interview with a transplant recipient on some of the social stigmas often faced by people with chronic health conditions within the Black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) community.
As well as this, we'll be looking back at two years of the Kidney Kitchen as we cook up a tasty tandoori with guest chef and RNG dietitian, Gabby Ramlan.
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could and will go wrong so that I can be mentally and
physically prepared for the next ‘Act of my Renal Epic’
– a Nietzschean form of life-affirming pessimism. It is
difficult to describe the reality of living with CKD to our
confidants, and sometimes we wish they would just…
get it, almost like a Vulcan Mind Meld.”
“I know kidney disease isn’t a
character flaw or personal failing.
I didn’t cause it and it doesn’t
make me any less deserving of
meeting the right person.“
Gemma agrees. “I hate to worry my family if I am
going through a rough patch and I tend to brush over
the more serious issues. It often feels like we are
programmed to make light of difficulties and show no
weakness in the face of adversity.”
We all share a powerful desire to be equal partners in
our relationships, not to be pitied or viewed as needing
to be ‘looked after’. Sarah says that, while she can cope
with what her illness throws at her, she still worries
that when she is unwell her loved ones are impacted,
missing out or having to change their plans to help her.
“I’m scared of developing a relationship and having
children because of the negative impact my health
could have on them,” she adds.
When do I tell them?
Even before these concerns arise, many of us worry
about finding a partner, and maintaining a healthy,
balanced relationship with our CKD as a sort of awkward
third wheel. We all have different approaches to this,
and some of us find it more challenging than others. “I
know kidney disease isn’t a character flaw or personal
failing.” says Holly. “I didn’t cause it and it doesn’t make
me any less deserving of meeting the right person. It’s
just one part of me, but I feel as if it’s influenced every
aspect of who I am, from my physical appearance and
my attitude to life, to my personality and social skills.”
The physical impact of kidney disease should not be
dismissed as shallow or insignificant. It has a major
impact on not only how we view ourselves, but also our
assumptions about how a partner may view us. Holly
states that her mental health and self-image have been
so low at times she’s effectively given up on trying to
meet someone. Worries due to transplant side effects
like extra weight, skin problems and thinning hair affect
her confidence to the point where she often wonders:
“Well I wouldn’t want to date me, so why would he!? If
he’s a nice guy he can do better.”
Maddy Warren
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