Phantom limb(((o)))_Statement
phantom limb(((o))): An exorcism for the embodied past by Ila and Syaheedah Iskandar CONTENT + Where did it started? + Where did we go? + Where are we now?
- Page 2 and 3: Where did it started? EXCERPTS FROM
- Page 4 and 5: 3
- Page 6 and 7: Where are we now? AN INSTRUCTION MA
- Page 8 and 9: 3.0 PUTTING YOURSELF TO SLEEP Optio
- Page 10 and 11: AFTERWORD: the strange gestation of
phantom <strong>limb</strong>(((o))):<br />
An exorcism for the embodied past<br />
by Ila and Syaheedah Iskandar<br />
CONTENT<br />
+ Where did it started?<br />
+ Where did we go?<br />
+ Where are we now?
Where did it started?<br />
EXCERPTS FROM PROPOSAL<br />
phantom <strong>limb</strong>(((o))) is an ongoing collaborative research project between Syaheedah Iskandar and ila<br />
that excavates embodied knowledge, histories and narratives surrounding the Nusantara through the<br />
mediation of the moving image. The phantom <strong>limb</strong> used here describes a disconnection of <strong>limb</strong>s from the<br />
source origin (the body). If the body is used as a proxy that represents the archipelagic region then it is<br />
possible to describe that disconnection as contributing to memory loss, whether individually or collectively<br />
as a community.<br />
Ila’s performative use of her body demonstrates these intricacies as well as address these phantoms that<br />
are trying to locate themselves not only within the region but across time and space, in multiple worlds<br />
of the unseen. In an attempt to recognise the body as being cut from ancestral knowledge and space<br />
(Nusantara), ila illuminates the paradox of being in a diaspora space (Singapore). phantom <strong>limb</strong>(((o)))<br />
addresses this bodily dissonance – being in a space where we are a part of but are also excluded from.<br />
We will also be exploring micro-activations from home which include provocations/prompts for the body<br />
that can be extended to other performers and movement artists to perform remotely. These microactivations<br />
are an expansion of Ila’s two works. bekas (2019) positions the body as the abject against<br />
locations that have been reclaimed and tanah//air (2020) responds to a prompt on how the body performs<br />
stubborn residues that resists change and clings on. In tandem, these works and our project approach is<br />
looking at alternative trajectories relating to regional histories, cultures and ancestral knowledge. These<br />
micro-activations will lead to a collective exorcism: to remove the phantoms of the past but also to make<br />
apparent these <strong>limb</strong>s and extremities that remain attached.<br />
KEYWORDS<br />
Embodied knowledge(s), ancestral knowledge(s), gestures, phantom <strong>limb</strong>s, instinct, oral traditions<br />
1
Where did we go?<br />
INITIAL DEVELOPMENT<br />
Discussion Points<br />
How can embodied knowledge be explored, and how does it impart onto the body’s motion<br />
through centuries of effect? How does the body respond to these research excavations, will the<br />
<strong>limb</strong>s appear, or at least become more apparent? What is the primal body without the baggage<br />
of time, and cultures?<br />
In the beginning, there were challenges in trying to bridge both our understandings of “embodied<br />
knowledge” and how to articulate to an audience or a reader a terminology that is subjective. We started<br />
discussing on some familiar cultural gestures we do. As a way to also expand the discussions outside<br />
of the Nusantara framework, we decided that it was imperative that we do not focus on cultural gestures<br />
alone.<br />
As an attempt to unpack “embodied knowledge”, we used this micro-residency to focus on the research<br />
of gestures. We wanted to re-think and make visible certain gestures we do - how, why, when, where<br />
do we do them.<br />
The idea was to integrate our senses into these discussions, what we see and how we feel when we<br />
make these gestures – in that act of unveiling, we highlight again, what is unseen.<br />
Research Plan<br />
As a way to unpack what embodied knowledge can entail, and what it means individually, the<br />
gestures that we are exploring will look into cultural, instinctual, unique and hidden gestures.<br />
1 Brainstorming personal responses | We started with ourselves, and what gestures intrigued us.<br />
We also discussed gestures we do that went beyond cultural connotations.<br />
2 Inviting public responses | Amidst these gestures that were personally interesting to us, we decided<br />
to put them up on our social media accounts to get responses/feedback/comments about these<br />
gestures. We also encouraged our audience to respond through videos, gifs, photographs. Apart from<br />
text, we wanted to see the potentiality of the contemporary visual to articulate these gestures in the<br />
belief that action speaks louder than words, encompassing all its nuances.<br />
3 Exercises | From this research, we think about the natural gesture and the performing of that gesture:<br />
“what is a natural gesture to me, could be an unfamiliar action for you”. In this train of thought, we are<br />
creating gifs to “perform” both natural and unfamiliar gestures as a way to narrate the subjectivity of<br />
embodied knowledge. These gifs will be produced as part of the residency. It will also be included in a<br />
post-residency video essay, as a continuation of our long-term research. >>>> This part became a<br />
challenge as we realised the visual limitations of gifs in its inability to translate the nuanced processes<br />
in performing these gestures. As a medium, it was appropriate in showcasing mainstream gestures that<br />
have collective resonances, rather than individualised gestures that are unique to ourselves.<br />
2
3
RECALIBERATING OUR PROCESS<br />
After acknowledging the limitations of what we wanted to do, we decided to brainstorm individually to<br />
understand better what the process meant for us individually. From there, we highlighted the common<br />
threads that we both saw through our mind-maps and how they can feed onto each other:<br />
For Ila: The attempt to understand the meaning of gestures that people do to control or heal the body<br />
depends on one’s upbringing and conditioning. To canonise such individualised gestures are difficult<br />
because of its tactile and organic nature of learning these gestures.<br />
For Syaheedah: Gesture are made from the public and private understanding of it, and both contributes<br />
to the overall lived experience of the person becoming that person’s embodied knowledge.<br />
Interior >> exterior<br />
Inner >> outer<br />
Immaterial >> physical<br />
4
Where are we now?<br />
AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL<br />
Using the ideas of a safety instruction manual that is typically available on flights, the following<br />
instruction manual was our way of unpacking and bringing consciousness towards embodied<br />
knowledge through gestures. Based on the materials that we have collected, we used<br />
gestures that were shared with us in our surveys.<br />
Apart from highlighting the distinctive and personalised nature of these gestures, the<br />
instructions attempt to systemise the “absurdity” of these gestures which may be irrational to<br />
most, is rational to the user.<br />
5
1.0 HOLDING A SNEEZE 1.1 Raise the index finger on<br />
your right hand.<br />
1.2 Bring it to your lips.<br />
1.3 Place it on the curve of<br />
your upper lip also known as<br />
the Cupid's bow.<br />
2.0 HOLDING THE URGE<br />
TO POOP<br />
Option 2<br />
2.1.1 Take your right hand<br />
and hold the end of your<br />
shirt.<br />
2.1.2 Take your left hand and<br />
hold above your right hand<br />
2.1.3 Turn your right hand<br />
clockwise.<br />
2.1.4 Turn your left hand<br />
anti-clockwise. Say the<br />
mantra in your heart: "Twirl<br />
twirl my shirt, my poop is<br />
knotted"<br />
Repeat as many times as<br />
you need to.<br />
2.2.1 Place your thumb on<br />
your tongue.<br />
2.2.2 Lick your thumb.<br />
2.2.3 Place your licked<br />
thumb into your<br />
bellybutton.<br />
2.2.4 Insert it deep inside<br />
your bellybutton.<br />
Repeat two more times<br />
from 2.2.1.<br />
6
3.0 PUTTING YOURSELF<br />
TO SLEEP<br />
Option 2<br />
3.1.1 Raise your right hand.<br />
3.1.2 Place it on your left<br />
shoulder or any preferred<br />
part of your body.<br />
3.1.3 Move your hand<br />
upwards.<br />
3.1.4 Move your hand<br />
downwards. Keep a steady<br />
rhythm and repeat until you<br />
fall asleep.<br />
3.2.1 Put your legs close<br />
together.<br />
3.2.2 Push it against the<br />
surface you are on.<br />
3.2.3 Place your body to the<br />
side and rub your right leg<br />
on the surface in a<br />
clockwise direction.<br />
3.2.4 Rub your left leg on<br />
the surface in a anticlockwise<br />
direction. Repeat<br />
until you fall asleep.<br />
7
4.0 STOPPING HICCUPS 4.1.1 Hold a glass of water<br />
with both hands.<br />
4.1.3 Take a drink of water<br />
in that position.<br />
4.1.2 Bend your body at 90<br />
degrees.<br />
Option 2<br />
4.2.1 Pronounce Fan out<br />
loud.<br />
4.2.2 Pronounce Ta out<br />
loud. Repeat from 4.2.1<br />
onwards until hiccups<br />
disappear.<br />
8
AFTERWORD: the strange gestation of gestures<br />
Salam temanku tersayang,<br />
my dearest friend, Syaheedah,<br />
Now that we have finally shared the same time zone in the last few months, it seems so strange to be writing this<br />
to you. I could ask how you are doing but we've checked in with each other just hours ago. As I sit here writing<br />
this to you on my cold cement floor, I acutely notice that I am rubbing my feet together: a gesture that serves two<br />
functions which is to keep me warm and awake. I remember too, at this moment that you rub your feet against<br />
the sheets to fall asleep. In the last few months of us trying to unpack and categorise different gestures, I have<br />
become more aware of my own gestures and of those around me. Throughout the entire micro-residency I keep<br />
thinking about the Centipede's Dilemma:<br />
A centipede was happy – quite!<br />
Until a toad in fun<br />
Said, "Pray, which leg moves after which?"<br />
This raised her doubts to such a pitch,<br />
She fell exhausted in the ditch<br />
Not knowing how to run.<br />
This poem also is a reference to the centipede effect, which is a psychological syndrome that occurs when a<br />
normally automatic or unconscious activity is disrupted by consciousness of it. I ask myself now, has the<br />
knowledge that a gesture that has been passed down from my mother to me (which is to lick the index finger<br />
when I am unable to eat the food you are craving for or find time to eat the food prepared for you), which I found<br />
out that I have been doing wrongly (I am supposed to touch food/drink and put a little bit in my mouth). But what<br />
is right and wrong when all that matters is that I believe that it works for me, maybe? There seems to be no<br />
disruption as some of these gestures are so natural, it feels like muscle memory. Maybe that is what embodied<br />
knowledge is, something that has formed inside the body that I don't second guess it. It comes out in how I sit,<br />
when I am angry, when I can't sleep; these gestures gestate inside me, coming out of me even before any words<br />
could form in my mouth.<br />
Remember when I asked you about the first time you learnt how to jeling? And who taught it to you? I think about<br />
my three year old daughter, Inaya giving us the slow eye roll when she was only a few months old. How much of<br />
these are something we've learned and how much of these have always been there? I keep thinking too, how do<br />
we learn these things? How is this knowledge shared if it was taught? I keep thinking about the attempts at<br />
performing the gestures that other people have shared with us and feeling silly. I tried to control my bowels by<br />
licking my thumb and inserting it really deep into my belly button but all I felt was an even greater urge to empty<br />
them out. I remember laughing when I shared this disembodying experience with you. Maybe I need to do it over<br />
and over again. But I knew at that moment that it was something my body rejected and it just didn't work for me.<br />
But why gestures my friend? How did we get here from thinking about the body and its phantom <strong>limb</strong>(s)? In our<br />
proposal, we addressed a kind of bodily dissonance – being in a space where we are a part of but are also<br />
excluded from, but in these months I realised that the dissonance is also inward, that even what remains natural,<br />
for some of us at least, has lost its origins. I may be able to trace back jilat jari to my maternal grandmother, but<br />
where did she learn it from and how much of the knowledge that it used to carry is lost, and is that loss even<br />
damaging? Maybe the body knows what it needs to know and that the knowledge in which it carries remains<br />
amorphous, forgetful and forgiving.<br />
stay open and keep close,<br />
ila<br />
9
Salam kawanku tersayang,<br />
My dearest Ila,<br />
When I first expanded the theories of my own sense of embodied knowledge, I used your practice as one of the<br />
entry points to discuss in my dissertation. I do not remember when the idea hit me exactly, but I remembered<br />
feeling excited, like a bulb in my head going off. The following steps of articulating these concepts into words was<br />
not easy, and many times I found myself second-guessing its irrationality. Perhaps it was the reminder that I was<br />
in a time zone that has not been kind to our ancestors, that irrationality opposed the very foundation of<br />
"Enlightenment" thought, the prelude to all colonial legacies.<br />
It was in this time zone that I understood the repercussions of visuality being a dominant sense – the need to<br />
"see" beyond the limits of our sight – which as real history tells us, has engineered their obsession to dominate<br />
lands that do not belong to them. But it is also in this timezone above that I found how to articulate its opposition,<br />
the unseen, the knowledge(s) that continue to veil itself as secrets, entrenched with locked meanings (or even no<br />
meanings) within the confines of our body. In my attempt to understand my own psyche as being disconnected to<br />
our ancestral lands, I argued the need to look inward, to use them as tracings to our past. For me, embodied<br />
knowledge became a romanticised idea (for better or worse) that I could one day read the stars at the back of my<br />
hand as I navigate the seas.<br />
When you so graciously invited me to collaborate with you on this residency, I honestly never imagined the<br />
processes to end up this way. I got far more than the initial hypothesis. That through working with you, and in<br />
your emphasis on how we feel, I realised the extent of my own introversion towards emotions – relying mostly on<br />
what I could see or rationalise. I had become complicit in codifying embodied knowledge. Perhaps my selfimposed<br />
social isolation (before circuit breaker) after returning to Singapore played a role in exacerbating this, of<br />
trying to rationalise my surroundings. Either way, it was still fruitful because it was in that discomfort, that the<br />
realisation of my own threshold between the public and private became more pronounced.<br />
In the beginning, I choose to focus on cultural gestures. Cultural gestures were easier to unpack because of its<br />
public meaning, but when you insisted to unpack gestures as a whole and to view it as part of embodied<br />
knowledge, I admit, was a path I was hesitant with. I thought it might broaden it up to the point that it would be<br />
hard for us to define what we were doing exactly. But maybe simplification is not the answer, that to avoid<br />
simplifying is to avoid systemising – and that in itself becomes an act of unlearning. In extending your hand to the<br />
private, you made space for personal meanings to also have a say in embodied knowledge. By allowing it to be<br />
said in public, the private gestures become conscious as we are made conscious of them.<br />
The centipede effect is a perfect analogy. I think there were points where we both felt unsure but I guess, it is<br />
also in that uncertainty that we found its virtue – its complexities, intimacies and dare I say, absurdity. To answer<br />
your question – why gestures? Maybe it is the first step of unlocking other embodied knowledge(s). By giving<br />
consciousness to its everyday counterparts, that something else will begin to stir inside all of us.<br />
Dengan ikhlas,<br />
With love and kindness,<br />
Syaheedah<br />
10