TELL magazine: December 2020 - Emanuel Synagogue

{APPRECIATING THE CONNECTIONS}
By Rabbi Rafi Kaiserblueth
As we approach the end of what can only be described as a chaotic year, I
have come to appreciate most of all the connections that I have, and have
been able to maintain, with my friends and family, especially as I relied
on those connections to surmount especially difficult moments.
What has strained those relationships
the most are those inevitable
difficult or challenging conversations
that come up. How we handle them
can make or break our relationships.
Who among us has not had an occasion
where we would have preferred
to walk away, or feel our blood boil
as the person we are speaking with
espouses ideas that are completely
antithetical to our ideals, or maybe
spewing hatred toward you or
a group of people, or maybe simply
repeating baseless “facts” or even
simply opinions we disagree with?
In any community or society, I am
certain this occurs constantly. How
we navigate these conversations,
whether during elections, pandemics,
or religious observance decisions,
is a testament to their strength.
We have no shortage of examples
in our tradition of advice on how
to navigate these types of conversations.
Notably, there is Moses as he
attempts to converse with Korah,
or the multiple cases in the Talmud
where rabbis seek to learn from one
another in pursuit of the truth.
Yet, I am drawn most closely
to the conversation between
Abraham and God which we read
a few weeks ago in chapter 18 of
Genesis. God reveals to Abraham
the plan of destruction for Sodom:
Then God said, “The outrage
of Sodom and Gomorrah is so
great, and their sin so grave!
I will go down to see whether
they have acted altogether
according to the outcry that has
reached Me; if not, I will take
note.” The men went on from
there to Sodom, while Abraham
remained standing before God.
I can only imagine what Abraham
must have been feeling at this point.
The very idea that God would be
contemplating wiping out a city,
something horrific to even contemplate,
would leave many of us either
speechless or in a state of fury. Yet,
Abraham, to his credit, and setting
an example to us all does something
very simple but very powerful:
ו ‏ַּיֹאמַ֑ר הַאַ֣ף ‏ּתִסְּפֶ‏ ‏֔ה צַּדִ֖יק עִם־רָׁשָֽע׃
Abraham came forward and
said, “Will You sweep away the
innocent along with the guilty?
In this moment of tension, where
the two parties could not be farther
apart, Abraham actively steps forward,
approaches God, and strives
to engage in a dialogue. How many
times have we heard the advice,
“just walk away” or “don’t engage”
with people we are at odds with?
Yet here, in this instance, Abraham
defies common sense and approaches,
attempting to bridge the gap.
I do not believe that Abraham expects
to change God’s mind. The goal here
is hinted at with the powerful active
verb that is employed, Vayigash,
to approach with purpose. It is the
same verb used by Judah, when he
approached Joseph to plead for the life
of Benjamin, not by shouting, fighting,
or defensively arguing, but coming
close to Joseph to attempt to bring
understanding to a charged situation.
Rather than retreating further into
our echo chambers of politics, religion,
or our personal narratives, further
distancing ourselves from one
another, let us look to Abraham, to
bring dialogue and understanding in
place of tension and conflict. The goal
is not to convince the other or prove
the other wrong, but to comprehend
the other, to engage with the other, in
order to bring about a closer relationship.
May that be the legacy we can
begin to enact, to push back against
the trends of isolation, whether it be
physical, spiritual, emotional, political,
or otherwise, and find reasons to
come closer together with the wondrous
variety that surrounds us.
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