Horror Stories from Horrified - Volume One (2)

After br eakfast, I mar ch out the fr ont door , the skin on my face naked and dr y,
and my body bundled in soft jogging-pants and ugly gr ey fleece. I am angr y, so
angr y. I?m mad at ever yone, for acting as if they feel sor r y for me. I don?t want pity.
I want my Mum back.
I?m angr y w ith her. That she didn?t fight har d enough, didn?t have the w ill to keep
on living. Did she do it on pur pose? Did she not love us enough to want to stay? She
abandoned us, and now I am a young w oman, w ith a younger sister and a gr ieving
father , and I must act as if I have ever ything under contr ol. I must act as if the
w or ld is not spinning beneath me, and that I am clinging on for dear life in the
hope that I w ill not fall. It?s not fair. None of it is.
I want my Mum.
I hate her. I love her, and I miss her, and I wish I had died instead of her. I don?t
want to live in a world where she isn?t there with me.
As I pass the par k, and the gr ey sky tumbles dead leaves ar ound my ankles, I feel
a cr eeping w or r y set in. What if I for get her voice? Her face? The sound of her
laughter ? What if I only ever r emember the bad par ts; the ar guments, the insults,
the bitter feuds and the angr y w or ds left unsaid. Wor ds that fester , like cancer ,
beneath the skin until they can be ignor ed no longer. Or until it is too late to fix
them. The black ir on r ailings follow me as I tr ead hollow steps beside the par k, like
r egiments of silent soldier s. Inside the gr een, the bar k-less tr ees stand pale and
sentinel, r ustling as their leaves fall to the fr osty gr ound. The playgr ound is empty,
and the gr eat expanse of law n beyond the tr ees is tr eacher ous and dar k.
I r etur n home to an empty house. A note on the fr idge tells me they have gone to
put some flow er s on Mum?s gr ave, and they?ll be back befor e dar k. It?s only been
tw o days, and alr eady they?r e going back for mor e. A cycle of miser y that w ill only
be br oken w hen w e have lear ned to for get. No, not for get. To accept.
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