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Horror Stories from Horrified - Volume One (2)

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I tuck her into bed, in the spar e r oom beside the study. That was w her e Mum had

w or ked w hen she was w r iting her books. Cooker y, mostly, w ith a few tr avel guides.

Nothing genuinely notew or thy ever emer ged fr om behind that door , but it ear ned

enough to keep the family afloat w hen times got tough. I r each out to touch the

door handle, then w ithdr aw ; I need to keep it together , for the sake of my sister and

Dad. I feel like I am at the edge of a pr ecipice, and that one misstep w ill send me

tumbling dow n into a place I w ill not r etur n fr om.

I find my old r oom, up at the top of the house, and sit on the bed tr ying not to

think of Mum. I had spent the last six months in this bed w hen w e knew the

tr eatment w ould no longer be enough, and that w e should spend w hat little time

w e had left together. I could hear Mum in the r oom below in those days, being sick

and hacking up bits of her self into the toilet. I hear d her gr oan and sob as Dad

car r ied her into the bedr oom after he?d w iped away the mess. Only silence now :

only an absence r emains.

I find I cannot sleep. I check my phone, and a hundr ed messages of sympathy and

sickly sentiment come flooding fr om my inbox and into my lived r eality. I slam the

phone face dow n on the duvet cover , feeling a r ush of anger.

Why can?t they all just leave me alone?

Why do you all need to keep reminding me that she?s not here?

Finally, as the str eet lamps star t to flicker , I feel sleep take hold. It is deep,

dr eamless and exquisite. An opioid slumber that r ocks me gently, evapor ating all

my tensions and thoughts until I am a numb, liquid thing. I do not dr eam of Mum. I

must not dr eam of her. Though the ocean of sleep is calm, the gr eat abyss I fear

lur ks just beneath its sur face.

Knock at the door.

Knock at the bedroom door.

87

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