Horror Stories from Horrified - Volume One (2)

?Yous?ll be lucky if yous find anyone at home. Them houses mostly belong now to
w hite settler s, w ho?r e pr obably seeing in the Bells in their first homes in southeast
England. Won?t r etur n her e till the spr ingtime. Who else? Donald Far quhar ? He
w on?t be in either.?
?But Donald?s in his eighties. Wher e else w ould he be??
?Donald heads off to the Canar y Islands ever y w inter , w hich is w hat I?d do if I
had his money. Rumour has it he shacks up ther e w ith a myster ious senor ita of the
age of 25. Pr obably w hat keeps the auld boy spr ightly.?
Lachie and Jimmy consider ed this. It was never cer tain w hen Gr anny Ander son
was telling the tr uth and w hen she was pulling their legs. Sometimes she pulled
legs so har d that, metaphor ically, they came out of their sockets.
?Of cour se, ther e?s Wullie MacNeill. He?ll be at home. If sitting supping w hisky
w ith Wullie is your idea of fun.? She added conspir ator ially, ?They don?t call him
Buffalo Bill for nothing.?
?Buffalo Bill??
?Ever see The Silence of the Lambs?? The old w oman didn?t elabor ate but instead
declar ed: ?So, in summar y, I think if yous pair plan to spend the night fir st-footing,
your br ains must be made of mince. Ther e?s har dly anyone to fir st-foot at the
moment and even if ther e w er e, ther e?d be no point because the custom belongs to
a bygone Scotland w hen the Kir k had pow er and influence and isn?t the dying
institution it is today. Still, if yous ar e deter mined to give your selves hypother mia?
Good luck w ith that!?
She stepped back and closed the door. A second later , she r e-opened it, stuck her
head out, bar ked, ?Oh aye, Happy New Year !? and closed it again.
Lachie and Jimmy tr amped up the path leading fr om Gr anny Ander son?s gar den
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