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?You ok??
?I?m ok.?
And I was. My hear t felt lighter , lifted. A small cr ack had opened up in my chest to let in
just enough daylight to cast an unfamiliar shade on the season: hope. We walked w ith
gloved hands held, the cr isp leaves softening our steps.
?Sur e you feel up to going to mum?s??
?It w ill be nice. I?m going to pick up some gifts in tow n, for the boys. A bottle for your
mum and Jess, maybe a cake. Do you take a cake r ound at Chr istmas??
The w ind w hipped Steve?s laughter into the w hite sky.
?You can do. Mum?s not a gr eat cook so measur e your expectations.?
?Then w e?ll eat cake on the dr ive back if w e?r e hungr y.?
I always liked The Fields but today it was pictur e-per fect: walker s w ith obedient dogs and
cute kids in padded playsuits, couples in matching coats w ith matching coffees, a gr oup of
teens w ear ing felt r eindeer ear s. A man bundled in layer s was r oasting chestnuts at a car t
w hile the Salvation Ar my played car ols fr om the bandstand. A r usset-colour ed dog bar ked
at a flock of pigeons, chasing their speckled w hite souls up into the tr ees. The only thing
missing fr om the scene was a dr ifting of snow. It was magical.
?This feels like a new tr adition,? Steve said. ?The par k, car ols. We could make mince pies
w hen w e get home.?
Something about the dignified r endition of Silent Night kindled a deeper war mth in me,
cr acking open a little mor e daylight. Str ings of candy-colour ed lights cur led ar ound the
café w indow s, their glow r eflected in the glass. A family w ent inside and w er e swallow ed
by an exhale of ginger and dar k chocolate as they opened the door. The easy enjoyment of
those ar ound us was less alien to me now , like a language I was finally star ting to gr asp.
?I think I?d like that.?
?Alr ight. This w ill be fun. Ther e is a lot to lear n, young Alex.?
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