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?Do you think you should talk to someone??
I w ent back to the safety of smear ed glass, avoiding the dar k sway of tr ees beyond. It was
cr eeping in w ith mor e confidence now , as soon as the leaves change. Making itself know n.
Maybe it was the changing per spective that comes w ith age but I?m sur e it is getting closer ,
cir cling my waggons. I huddled deeper into my coat as if polyester and duck dow n could
stall the chill.
?Alex??
?It w on?t help. They w on?t under stand it.?
?I know but? ?
?You don?t under stand.?
Another gr ow l, softer this time.
?I know.?
Red on w hite on r ed on w hite, in the black.
He didn?t br ing it up for the r est of the night. We ate, w e smoked, w e loved and then he
slept. I sur r ender ed to bed w ith the sw eet smell of candle high in my nose. Steve had
bought it as a gift to r emind me of home and I focused on the deep, alpine scent, the cold
w et secr ets of scatter ed for ests. I pictur ed the gather of pines, succulent gr een until you
look r ight at them and then they stand, black as midnight, sentr ies to the gates beyond.
Winter sun filter ing thr ough needles as the knife-edged season?s thr eat r ustles their
boughs. It tugged at my hear t. He must have sear ched to find a wax w ith such natur al
scent.
My eyes star ted to dr ift and then a loop of panic hooked my thr oat. The for ests w er e safe
fr om a distance but even in memor y they br ought something w ith them. For a few days
now it had been a feeling, an itch in my hear t but now it show ed itself, a dar k shape
moving thr ough leaf and bar k, gliding silently as if above the cr ackling needlebeds. The
shadow stealthed into the r oom, bar r ing light fr om the hallway door w ith four solid str uts
of leg. A low intake of br eath and sudden belch of musky steam fr om its damp flanks as it
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