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"Oh my god," he heard himself say over and over, "Oh my god."
His neck ached from braking so sharply. In the rearview mirror, he saw her
mangled body, lying across the road like an injured animal. Maybe, he was mistaken.
"Please God, let me be mistaken."
But it was when he got out of the car and started walking back towards her and
could see her neck hanging oddly at an angle, that he knew she was definitely dead.
The whisky rose in his windpipe. A pain in his chest.
Think. Think. Gloves. Mustn?t leave any prints.
He looked around. The road was still silent. Nobody would know. What was a little
girl doing out on her own in the middle of the night anyway? What the hell were her
parents thinking letting her roam the streets? They were probably drunk themselves,
singing in the New Year, completely unaware that she had snuck out without them
noticing.
Without looking at her face, he grabbed onto her wrists and dragged her off the
road and into the holly bushes. She was wearing a green velvet coat. With any luck,
she would be camouflaged by the leaves and not found for a couple of days. By which
time he'd be back in the halls of residence, miles away from here.
When it was done, he walked back to the car. He took a quick look at the bonnet and
was amazed to see there were no dents. No trace of evidence. No proof it had ever
even happened. He got into his car and drove away.
Psychotherapists gave several diagnoses for his heightened state of anxiety over the
months that followed. Some attributed blame to his mother abandoning the family
when he was small. Some blamed it on depression and the heartbreak of Laura
dumping him. Some said it was stress. Only he knew the truth and he never revealed
it to another living soul for fear that it would destroy him. Better to keep quiet and
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