BBYTTH 'Escaping Reality'

01 DEPOP EXCLUSIVE ISSUE £10 €12 $14 2020–21
9 772633 790009

YOU UP? 3

4
EDITOR IN CHIEF
KENZIE TTH
PRODUCTION
Emulsion
DESIGN
All Purpose
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
Blue May, Jim Martin, Depop
CONTRIBUTORS
AboveGround, AirPangea, Alice Fiorelli, Andy Madeleine,
Axel Lagerborg, BATRY POWR, Drew Escriva, Emulsion,
Henry Gorse, Leila Afghan, Nick Offord, Rasha Mosa,
Sick Sad Girlz, Tonje Thilesen, Tucker Bryant
WORDS
KENZIE TTH, Nicole Miglis, Tucker Bryant
PHOTOGRAPHERS
AboveGround, Andy Madeleine, Angelique Yvonne, Axel
Lagerborg, Bee Beardsworth, Chloe Shepherd, Drew
Escriva, KENZIE TTH, Louis Schreyer, Mischa de Stroumillo,
Nick Hadfield, Nick Offord, Rasha Mosa, Ray De Lumiere,
Sandra Ebert, Tonje Thilesen
MODELS
Ameera Mian, Bee Beardsworth, Connor Kawaii, Dajia Jay
at VISION LA, Elif Yilmazturk, Emory Ault, Honey Ross,
KENZIE TTH, Ludo Guerrieri, Saabeah Theos, Simmy
Testarossa, Vinson Fraley, Justyna
STYLING
Kyanisha Morgan, KENZIE TTH, Bee Beardsworth, Axel
Lagerborg, Marissa Baklayan
SET DESIGN
Jess Hadfield, Clara Boulard
MERCH DESIGN
Axel Lagerborg, Emulsion, All Purpose
BEAUTY
Coco Hirani, Honey Ross, KENZIE TTH, Matisse Andrews,
Grace Maria Ellington
BRANDS
Adidas Originals, Alabama Blonde, Ashish x Warehouse,
BBYTTH, Casablanca, Di Petsa, Eckhaus Latta, Fleet Ilya,
Ghost, Jeffery Campbell, Katie Ann McGuigan, Polo Ralph
Lauren, Supernaturae, Supriya Lele, Vivienne Westwood
ADVERTISERS
Air Pangea, BBYTTH, Sick Sad Girlz
SPECIAL THANKS
1Granary Showroom, Blue May, Camille Summers Valli,
Dimitra Petsa, Effie Theos, Ione Gamble, Jim Martin, Park,
Lukas Rutkauskas, Peter and Shelagh Klein, ProLighting
London, RAVEN Agency, Rosa Mercuriadis, Sebastian
Sartor, Sophie Webb, Steve Dool, Temple Archive LDN,
TESS, Tev’n, Toya Berry
PRINTING
Park Communications, UK
PUBLISHERS
BBYTTH Limited
GRILLS
POWERED BY
depop.com/bbytth bbytth.com
@bbytth @kenzie.tth
Disclaimer: BBYTTH accepts no liability for any unsolicited material in any form. The views and opinions featured in the editorial content are those of the
contributors and are not necessarily shared by the publishers of BBYTTH. Any reproduction of the publication and its contents in whole or in part without written
permission from the publishers is strictly prohibited.
5

P. 10
P. 14 P. 16
P. 18
P. 32
P. 38
6
P. 20
P. 42
P. 57
P. 65
P. 76
P. 62
P. 72
P. 74
P.86
P. 88
7

8
HOOVES
9

WHY STAY
GROUNDED?
Been spending a lot of time performing the necessary human
actions required to keep myself alive, but not quite feeling like my
feet are on the ground. Maybe that’s why I fall over as much as I do.
No grip on my cleats to hold me to reality — trying to talk myself out
of the hard truths, but my speech runs a lot like my legs do.
I’m learning that the more I try to run away the harder
it is to escape. I still try to find solace in the anonymity of a new
city; on a new page with a different username. I’ve been living in
the in-between for a while — lived a few different lives in what
feels like a million different places.
Most of my belongings don’t belong to me. Most of my
stuff is scattered in houses and warehouses on a couple different
continents. People ask where I’m living and I tell
them where I’m staying. It’s just like that. It’s been
like that for a while now. I’ll take any excuse to not
get too tied to anything. I’ve been spending time
walking through like I exist somewhere in the dream
space, leaving a scene behind and entering a new
one when someone or something stirs me enough.
And dreams were the place I used to wander
freely but lately sleep don’t come as often as I’d like it to,
and when it does the visions that come just sort of mimic
reality in a taunting kind of way, like “remember all the
things you forgot to do?”. Here in the murky corners of
the current bedroom faces I once loved are distorted and
painted the darkest hues. So how am I gonna escape?
I quit the drugs; they were bad for my health, and I quit
him cause he was bad for my self.
I’m still trying to make the distinction
between settling in and settling down, and for a while I tried to
find my footing by gravitating towards people who float the way I
do. There’s commiseration in it. I’m only now starting to feel the
ground again. The ideas on these pages were brought together
in places and with people I found respite. I don’t really deal too
much in definites, but this is something solid to have and hold
on to. Maybe one day I’ll stop looking for a way out. Or maybe I’ll
finally find one.
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN A
MANIFESTO AND A SUICIDE NOTE
This though, this is a way in.
This is the first issue.
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN A MANIFESTO AND A SUICIDE NOTE
10 11

12
I LICKED THE BLOOD
I SUCKED THE CUT
DREW ESCRIVA
I STITCHED YOU UP
13

14 15
DREW ESCRIVA

Last night I had a dream that really corresponded to things
that have been happening in my day for the first time in a long
time. In my dream I went on a road trip down to Los Angeles
with Jay because he had just told me about how he was in Los
Angeles for dream theater and I went to a gas station with
him because I was thirsty and I went to drink some water but
instead of doing that I drink some gasoline or oil or iron or
something like that.
Then I went on an excursion with a bunch of people
from I think Stanford and I was interested in multiple women
who were there so was flirting with multiple women.
at in some capacity or acknowledging without actively talking
to me about and that in turn made me feel defensive which is
a way that I’ve been feeling about the various relationships I
am half heartedly pursuing out of boredom and in doing so I
felt naked and probably because of that I was naked and all
my clothes immediately disappeared and I spent the rest of the
day running away from the crowd and trying to find a place for
shelter because I had no clothes.
16
14 TUCKER DREAMS
Just took another nap and dreamt that I was in my backyard
and at some point I just saw this small animal vault over the
fence and land on the trampoline and it turned out to be a pig
a tiny pig and the tiny pig just started jumping all over the
trampoline and speaking to me and I think this dream was
sent to me to feel okay with not being able to eat pork.
And it got to a point where I flirted with the one in front
of another and she realized and everybody else realized and I felt
this commanding guilt that everyone else seemed to be poking fun
17
17

18
in sheeps clothing
ANDY MADELEINE
19

20 21
ME AS EVE

I tried
Paris
Photography: Nick Hadfield
I TRIED PARIS
22
23

24
I TRIED PARIS
25

26
I TRIED PARIS
27

28
I TRIED PARIS
29

30
I TRIED PARIS
KENZIE TTH wears BBYTTH Beret
31

32
HANGING MEAT
33

new city new attitude checked into my hotel room feeling good
enough to drown my sorrows lookin overdressed
in something bor- rowed tonight ill be Eve fading
underneath the trees smokin out the
back garden of
eden searching for a god
I dont believe in
i was in a bad way jagged
as a razorblade
trying to cut holes in
the moral fab-
ric when you asked if
you could stay
second we got in the
door i’d rather
be on my own asking
me why so cold
im skin and bone think
its time for you
to go and saturday no
rest woke up in
my sunday best like I
could dip a toe
to test the fable or just
watch fruit rot on
the table I took a shot
double barrel on
the rocks and this taxi
is a hearse every
night keeps getting
worse i was in a bad
way jagged as
a razorblade jagged as a
pillbox summer
when you turned n
looked my way
second we got in
the door i’d rather
be on my own tonight
ill strip the
sheets ill get
some
sleep i need
some
time alone
32 TONJE THIELSEN
35

36
You think it’s nice to come and visit me in purgatory, and then you return to the real world or wherever it is that you go.
Where do you go when you go?
TONJE THIELSEN
37

SONSHUN ®
No one’s always stuck in a good mind
“Take a holiday from reality
whenever you like, and come
back without so much as a
headache or a mythology.”
Seeking warmth even though you’re so cold blooded.
Use of SONSHUN® increases the risk of delusions of grandeur, difficulties in living in reality, and
may be life-threatening. Because of this, use should only be considered when other treatment
options are not possible. However if your doctor does prescribe SONSHUN® the dosage and
duration of treatment should be limited by your doctor. Please tell your doctor about all medicines
you are taking, and follow your doctor’s dosage recommendation closely.
Side effects include: Feeling sick (nausea), dry mouth, headache, Wasting Time, increased sweating, lethargy, Losing Sleep, dizziness, agitation, confusion, Wild Eyes, Wide Eyes,
paraesthesia, tinnitus, diarrhoea, vomiting, constipation, indigestion, increased saliva, myalgia, joint, arthralgia, pruritus, abnormal dreaming, amnesia, absence of genuine emotion or
enthusiasm.
SONSHUNPLUS 33G 100
LOT
44121
REF

40
HENRY GORSE
SPENDING SO MUCH TIME IN SEARCH
OF SOMETHING IN
THE MUNDANE
EXTRAORDINARY
41

42
HENRY GORSE
43

44
LOSING SLEEP
45

46
LOSING SLEEP
47

48
LOSING SLEEP
49

50
LOSING SLEEP
51

52
LOSING SLEEP
53

54
LOSING SLEEP
55

56 57
LOSING SLEEP

FRESH
BLOODY
CLEAR
A REASON
TO SMILE
Advanced technology that pro-actively protects your whole mouth
It provides excellent protection against plaque, sensitivity, stains, tartar and cavities
Provides additional benefits - seeking and fighting bacteria for enamel protection, instant neutralization of
odours associated with bad breath and improved flavours that will leave your mouth feeling clean and fresh
Photography: KENZIE TTH
Dirty Beach
is a
Paradise
PARADISE IS A DIRTY BEACH
58
59

60
Photography: Chloe Sheppard
PARADISE IS A DIRTY BEACH
61

62
PARADISE IS A DIRTY BEACH
63

Don’t talk about it. Be about it. You ain’t gotta stay here and I
ain’t trying to keep you here. If you ain’t gonna fight about it,
you could probably live without it. You really gonna sit here,
trying to convince yourself ?
From the windshield it’s paradise. From the rear
view mirror it’s so hard to say goodbye. It’s paradise — But
I’m somewhere that you go to clear your head. You were just
a tourist here, you were never permanent. You said take me
to your waters. Take me to the beach. Ain’t mad about it.
You want to keep the sun around you. Something for the season
— don’t need another reason to… I guess
Don’t make a promise ‘cause I ain’t here to keep
you honest. You ain’t gotta face your fears, but I ain’t trying to
chase your tears.
And from the windshield it’s paradise. From the rear
view mirror it’s so hard to say goodbye. But I’m somewhere
that you go to clear your head. You were just a tourist here,
you were never permanent. You said take me to your waters.
Take me to the beach.
PARADISE IS A DIRTY BEACH
64 65

66
Never
BBYTTH: NEVER OKAY
Okay
67

68
The Never Okay pants in red
BBYTTH: NEVER OKAY
69

70
The Never Okay bucket hat
BBYTTH: NEVER OKAY
71

74
It doesn’t matter how, I just want to get away
It doesn’t matter now, I just want to get away
NICK OFFORD
75

76
“I should go.” I look back at what I’m leaving behind: sinning
in the candlelight. It’s morning but it’s still last night.
*Taxi home*
Lights on and I strip the sheets. The mirror won’t look at me,
and if these walls could speak…
“No,” they always saying,
“You should stay at home,”
But I looked too good to be at home. I looked too good to be
alone.
So I spent all night feeling like copper painted gold.
“I gotta go.” I said.
I took the long way home, trying to do better.
Been trying to do better than this.
I’m just trying to do better.
****
He got me high to a bad song.
1) Faded love never lasts long.
2) Big words don’t mean it’s eloquent.
3) Style don’t mean you’re elegant.
I’m trying to rush through a slow dance. My fingers crossed, he
hold my other hand. And he wants to know if he can take me home,
but I sleep alone.
I’m trying to do better.
I’m just trying to do better than this.
DJ SAINT LUDO
I’ve been confusing freedom for something else
Mixing up dependence for needing help
Saying “it must be real” if I can feel it.
Confusing blunt for sincere
And liquor for the holy spirit.
But I’m trying to do better than this.
77

78
79
FINGERS, NAILS, CLAWS AND TAILS
Fingers,
Nails, Claws
and Tails
Photography: Ray De Lumiere

80
FINGERS, NAILS, CLAWS AND TAILS
81

82
FINGERS, NAILS, CLAWS AND TAILS
83

84
85
FINGERS, NAILS, CLAWS AND TAILS
72 73
FINGERS, NAILS, CLAWS AND TAILS

Tell us where it hurts.
@sicksadgirlz

A compilation of weekly
remote improvisational
meditations.
The Goat
I was in Italy playing piano for a friend’s wedding.
We took a few days off to explore and found this goat
sculpture at a local overlook. The day before we visited
this massive well called St. Patrick’s Well and I recorded 10
minutes of ambient sound that I combined with the audio
I recorded at the goat.
88
NYC
I had just taken a bus from DC to NY for my first
show as Batry Powr. The next day, my friend and I planned to
film a Mind Powr in Central Park, but a crazy rainstorm hit.
So we filmed where we were at the Columbus Circle metro
station. I love the anonymity of New York. You can be doing
pretty much anything and no one will turn their heads.
BATRY POWR
Canoeing
This was the first meditation. I rented a truck from
this car rental app and we roped a canoe to it. I love the sound
of the water against the boat and the birdcalls in this one.
The mosquitos ate us alive when we got back to land.
Riomaggiore
The melancholy final Mind Powr. We filmed this
in a beautiful town called Riomaggiore, one of five towns in
Western Italy known as the Cinque Terre. I finished the music
on the train from Riomaggiore to Milan, where we flew back
to the States the next day.
89

90
RASHA MOSA
STEP OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF
AND INTO SOMETHING WILD.
91

92
RASHA MOSA
93

DEPOP.COM/BBYTTH BBYTTH.COM @KENZIE.TTH @BBYTTH
This project is carbon offset using ClimatePartner, through purchasing this product you are also supporting
afforestation or the expansion of renewable energies. To find out more, scan the QR code or head to the link.