24 Seven November 2020

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Yesterday, as I was driving in my car,
my minded started to wander, as it usually does, and I pictured
a day in the future when I will be sitting with my grandchild
reminiscing about the pandemic of 2020. As I envisioned that
encounter, my mind immediately shifted to my grandmother,
who for most of my life, brought every conversation back to her
experience during the Great Depression.
When the market crashed in 1929, she was a young wife and
mother. The years that followed turned her life upside down.
Lack became the mental foundation on which she built the
remaining years of her life; it became her story. The trauma,
pain, and scars stayed with her like a noose around her neck
and she was never able to break free.
As I remembered my grandmother I wondered, what will my
story be?
Today, people are experiencing financial devastation similar
to those during that horrific time in history. Many have lost
their jobs and homes, friends and family members are sick, and
they no longer have a sense of security. It is easy to get stuck in
the pain, and it’s challenging to see the proverbial bright side.
Over the years, I have witnessed people become a victim of
circumstance, bound to the dark periods of their life. They got
so lost that they couldn’t find a way out. For awhile, I was one
of those people. I felt sorry for myself and played the same story
over and over in my mind.
But once that story got old, I realized that it was time to let it
go and change the way I viewed the hand I was dealt. I finally
understood that no matter what happens around us, we always
have the power to change the way we see it and handle it.
The year 2020 will be a defining moment in many of our
lives, one that we will carry with us until our death. Health
concerns, financial insecurity, loss of loved ones, isolation,
caregiver PTSD, political unrest, have altered the world that we
know. The psychological fallout will likely be devastating. It will
be my grandmother’s depression.
And, as I imagined, years from now, we’ll share stories with
family and friends and tell our grandchildren about life in 2020.
But, how will we really remember this unprecedented event?
Will it be a source of pain from which a person never recovers,
like my grandmother, or will it be a springboard to something
different or possibly better?
While there’s no way to avoid what’s happening in the
world, there are ways to regain a sense of control, even when
everything feels so out of control.
Psychologist Dan McAdams developed the Theory of
Narrative Identity, which he describes as an internalized story
we create about ourselves. This story evolves and changes
based on the experiences we have. According to McAdams, our
stories tend to focus on the most extraordinary events, good
and bad, because those are the experiences we need to make
sense of and that shape us.
Research suggests that we can edit, revise and interpret the
stories we tell about our lives even as we are constrained by
the facts. Our power comes in rewriting the story in a more
positive way. So, while we can’t change the past, we can change
the story to provide meaning from hardships.
So, when thinking about your story, ask: Does the story
serve you? Is this the story you want to tell?
If the answer is no, here are a few ways that we can navigate
difficult times and not allow them to define us:
Accept what is. Change is an inevitable part of life. Fighting
events outside of our control drains our energy and creates
anxiety. Accepting a situation provides the freedom to devote
precious energy to the things we can control and change.
Don’t identify as a victim. A victim is defined as a person
harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or
other event or action. By this definition we all are victims at
one time or another. But, some feel like victims all the time.
Don’t waste energy blaming or getting angry, but rather do
what you can to change the narrative. When the blaming
begins, turn your attention away from the negative thoughts.
Look for the positive in any situation. There is always
something for which to be grateful. Sometimes it may be
harder to find, but it is always there. Focus on the happy
memories being created by spending time with family. Dream
about the new job you may find. Recall the conversations with
long lost friends. Be thankful for good health.
Remember, we write our story and the power of the pen can
be life changing.
So, how will you remember 2020?
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN
Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude…
Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast,
Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the
publisher of 24 Seven magazine.
To Learn More Visit:
www.JoanHerrmann.com