HOWWILL YOUREMEMBER2020?TIPS TOREWRITETHENARRATIVEWritten by Joan Herrmann
YYesterday, as I was driving in my car,my minded started to wander, as it usually does, and I pictureda day in the future when I will be sitting with my grandchildreminiscing about the pandemic of 2020. As I envisioned thatencounter, my mind immediately shifted to my grandmother,who for most of my life, brought every conversation back to herexperience during the Great Depression.When the market crashed in 1929, she was a young wife andmother. The years that followed turned her life upside down.Lack became the mental foundation on which she built theremaining years of her life; it became her story. The trauma,pain, and scars stayed with her like a noose around her neckand she was never able to break free.As I remembered my grandmother I wondered, what will mystory be?Today, people are experiencing financial devastation similarto those during that horrific time in history. Many have losttheir jobs and homes, friends and family members are sick, andthey no longer have a sense of security. It is easy to get stuck inthe pain, and it’s challenging to see the proverbial bright side.Over the years, I have witnessed people become a victim ofcircumstance, bound to the dark periods of their life. They gotso lost that they couldn’t find a way out. For awhile, I was oneof those people. I felt sorry for myself and played the same storyover and over in my mind.But once that story got old, I realized that it was time to let itgo and change the way I viewed the hand I was dealt. I finallyunderstood that no matter what happens around us, we alwayshave the power to change the way we see it and handle it.The year 2020 will be a defining moment in many of ourlives, one that we will carry with us until our death. Healthconcerns, financial insecurity, loss of loved ones, isolation,caregiver PTSD, political unrest, have altered the world that weknow. The psychological fallout will likely be devastating. It willbe my grandmother’s depression.And, as I imagined, years from now, we’ll share stories withfamily and friends and tell our grandchildren about life in 2020.But, how will we really remember this unprecedented event?Will it be a source of pain from which a person never recovers,like my grandmother, or will it be a springboard to somethingdifferent or possibly better?While there’s no way to avoid what’s happening in theworld, there are ways to regain a sense of control, even wheneverything feels so out of control.Psychologist Dan McAdams developed the Theory ofNarrative Identity, which he describes as an internalized storywe create about ourselves. This story evolves and changesbased on the experiences we have. According to McAdams, ourstories tend to focus on the most extraordinary events, goodand bad, because those are the experiences we need to makesense of and that shape us.Research suggests that we can edit, revise and interpret thestories we tell about our lives even as we are constrained bythe facts. Our power comes in rewriting the story in a morepositive way. So, while we can’t change the past, we can changethe story to provide meaning from hardships.So, when thinking about your story, ask: Does the storyserve you? Is this the story you want to tell?If the answer is no, here are a few ways that we can navigatedifficult times and not allow them to define us:Accept what is. Change is an inevitable part of life. Fightingevents outside of our control drains our energy and createsanxiety. Accepting a situation provides the freedom to devoteprecious energy to the things we can control and change.Don’t identify as a victim. A victim is defined as a personharmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, orother event or action. By this definition we all are victims atone time or another. But, some feel like victims all the time.Don’t waste energy blaming or getting angry, but rather dowhat you can to change the narrative. When the blamingbegins, turn your attention away from the negative thoughts.Look for the positive in any situation. There is alwayssomething for which to be grateful. Sometimes it may beharder to find, but it is always there. Focus on the happymemories being created by spending time with family. Dreamabout the new job you may find. Recall the conversations withlong lost friends. Be thankful for good health.Remember, we write our story and the power of the pen canbe life changing.So, how will you remember 2020?About The AuthorJOAN HERRMANNJoan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude…Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast,Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and thepublisher of 24 Seven magazine.To Learn More Visit:www.JoanHerrmann.com
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