Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Primal Preferences
Now that we’ve gotten a glimpse of what a Primal looks like, it should be
significantly easier to draw some conclusions which can help us to more
accurately define what it is that makes a person a Primal and take a look at what
goes on inside of a Primal’s head. The psycho-social pieces of the Primal puzzle
are important because, for most Primals, this isn’t a role that they play or a
costume that they can put on or take off at will. It is who they are. This is not
just about how they act; it is about how they think, how they relate, and how they
love.
Let’s examine what I’ve come to call the Primal preferences. They are simply a
series of generalities, to be sure, but they can be incredibly useful in
understanding what makes a Primal tick. As always, the use of the male pronoun
“he” should not be interpreted as a bias for one gender over any other. It is a
simply a sad acknowledgment of one of the most frustrating limitations of the
English language, the aggravating lack of a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
The first Primal preference, which cuts right to the heart of the entire
Domination/submission culture, is the unique way in which Primals make a
determination of dominance. It is a process that invariably occurs each time the
Primal encounters someone new. In fact, for some Primals it can be an on-going
process, even with their romantic partners and long-time acquaintances.
Establishing dominance is almost always an ad hoc, unscripted, and
unpredictable thing which can be as simple and innocuous as a momentary
glance, or as violent as a Wrestlemania cage-match.
This initial and instinctive determination of pecking-order occurs without any
conscious thought on the part of the Primal. He doesn’t care about whether or
not you want to be evaluated, nor does he much care about how you evaluate
yourself. All he cares about is how you measure up in relation to himself. This
fact, alone, can be quite disconcerting to those in the D/s lifestyle who have
assigned to themselves the traditional role of Dominant or submissive. You may
consider yourself a Dominant, but the Primal’s instincts may tell him something
completely different about you, at least in relation to himself. Imagine, for a
moment, what thoughts might run through a Dominant’s head if a Primal were to
tell him, “I know you call yourself a Dominant, but as far as I am concerned, you
are a submissive.” Is it any wonder that Primals are widely misunderstood in