Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

very deliberate use of the word enjoyment. It isn’t enough to simply be capable
of performing in either role. After all,
practically everyone is capable of exhibiting both dominant and submissive
behaviors. I personally know several die-hard submissives who happen to be
quite capable of functioning very competently in a dominant role, despite the
fact that they dread it and it literally makes them nauseous to do so. What we
should be asking is: Do they seek out such opportunities and do they enjoy it?
Do they find fulfillment in it? Is this where they go to find their happy place? If
so, they just may be Switches.
The third characteristic is tangentially related to the first, and tends to be more a
matter of degree than it is a yes or no proposition. True Switches tend to be
individuals who have accumulated a great deal of experience both in and outside
of the lifestyle, had more than just a few relationship partners, and should be on
the downhill side of the self-awareness learning curve. This statement may
offend some readers and confound others. In fact, I’d bet
the rent money that there’s probably someone reading this paragraph right now
who is thinking, “How dare he suggest that just because I’m relatively new to
the lifestyle, that I might not be a true Switch?”
Hear me out. I dare say it because telling the truth may be a dirty job, but
somebody’s got to do it, and it might as well be me.
Why might we expect a true Switch to be on the experienced end of the BDSM
lifestyle spectrum? The obvious reason would be that most Switches tailor their
dominance-orientation to different situations, circumstances and partners. It
stands to reason, then, that if someone
has had an extremely limited number of experiences and partners, it is likely that
he has not had many opportunities to fully explore and plumb the
depths of his switchiness. It’s entirely possible that he has yet to meet that one
individual who can help bring forth his inner Dominant or his inner submissive.
Perhaps that crucial pivotal experience or event that decides the question for this
individual is still in his future. At best, anyone who has had very little lifestyle