Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

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Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatile.Wilbur, the Pig: Does versatile mean full of eggs?Charlotte: No, it means I can change with easefrom one thing to the next.- Charlotte's Web, E.B. White (1973)
What is a Switch?Chapter 3: The SwitchThere are two groups of people in the D/s and BDSMlifestyles who are quite often misunderstood and occasionally even the targets oflingering prejudice even from others in the fetish culture: Switches and Primals.We’ll discuss Primals at length in the next chapter. Switches fall into twogeneral categories: BDSM Switches and D/sSwitches.BDSM Switches are individuals who enjoy performing in either the role of a Topor a Bottom, depending upon the circumstances, their moods, or theirpartners. D/s Switches are people who feel and relate to their partners asDominants or submissives, for essentially the same reasons. Because the D/s andBDSM cultures are overwhelminglyfocused on issues relating to domination and submission, Switches aresometimes regarded by others in the lifestyle with a certain degree of suspicion,condescension or bemusement. The primary source of this prejudicialattitude tends to be the widespread misconception that Switches are simplyconfused or unaware of their true orientation. This erroneous belief is foundedupon the naive assumption that everyone must either be a Dominant or asubmissive. The truth of the matter is most peopleare neither. Most people have both dominant and submissive characteristics andare able to draw upon them as necessary and appropriate in both their day-to-daylives and their kink lives.As I’ve mentioned earlier in this book, I firmly believe that most people can befound somewhere on a spectrum between
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DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
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DedicationThis book is for the peop
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Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
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My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
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PREFACE
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getting just a little ahead of your
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That is why you should fully unders
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
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Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
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great majority of humanity.A very t
Page 22 and 23: IntrospectionDo you like being told
Page 24 and 25: more focused on facts than feelings
Page 26 and 27: also the not-so-insignificant matte
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Page 30 and 31: If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
Page 32 and 33: Types of DominantsThere are many di
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Page 36 and 37: person’s anus. Yes, there really
Page 38 and 39: life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
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Page 42 and 43: was me - or more accurately, my own
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Page 46 and 47: Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
Page 48 and 49: IntrospectionIf you are someone who
Page 50 and 51: I stated previously, most people ca
Page 52 and 53: behavior pleases her mate great, bu
Page 54 and 55: at the beginning of any relationshi
Page 56 and 57: her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
Page 58 and 59: Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
Page 60 and 61: also requires us to believe that we
Page 62 and 63: hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
Page 64 and 65: accomplished by dinner time. This c
Page 66 and 67: categories: kittens, puppies, and p
Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
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Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
Page 103 and 104: She drew back for a split second, a
Page 105 and 106: Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
Page 107 and 108: We went back to her house, where we
Page 109 and 110: Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
Page 111 and 112: CompuServe chat became available, i
Page 113 and 114: worlds? The process of choosing an
Page 115 and 116: sort. There’s no shame in admitti
Page 117 and 118: the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
Page 119 and 120: ChallengesDespite all of the appare
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· The percentage of vanilla online
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them. An IP address usually looks s
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Where Is It Going?Major League Base
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by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
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people discover the utility of cert
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supposed neighborhood. If someone t
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The safety advantage of online BDSM
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come back. It’s that much of a sh
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Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
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adornments such as rhinestones or m
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Types of CollarsA collar represents
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consideration are also collars of p
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vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
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consideration involves money or mer
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possibly be wrong with that? Well,
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submissive the ability to choose wh
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Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
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considered a yin and yang metaphor,
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Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
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Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
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What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
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What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
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The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
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by raiding parties. They refer to t
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"Even though she had then been turn
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Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
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Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
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Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
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within, will be a message." (John N
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occasions, the sleeve collar may be
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ceremonies described by Norman in h
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Now, with his two hands, he held th
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Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
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My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
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“The meeting of two personalities
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with a submissive. He can choose to
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and I was serving in the Army, stat
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inclined to be as sympathetic as I
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True, the odds of that person being
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few days. Allot yourselves plenty o
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it and drive across it slowly and d
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asking yourselves is, is this the b
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First Meetings: Sheila’s StoryWhe
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were invariably ignored. John Edwar
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aka Slavemaster, lived with his wif
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but you also need to be able to tru
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important phone numbers and having
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The article examined the difference
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where you want your relationship to
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think I can do that.”Three days l
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Chapter 9: BDSM Toys & SafetyTypica
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It is not uncommon for some people
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Types of BDSM Toys & EquipmentWe co
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of his or her extremities for loss
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SleevesA BDSM sleeve is typically a
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order to escape smoke or fire.Harne
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Straps are often used in lieu of ro
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thing they all have in common is th
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plugs may also be susceptible to cr
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Impact GearBDSM impact gear is used
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the construction of paddles, but th
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these functions include sensation,
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strike, which can be far more probl
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has the potential to cause serious
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sensations. A significant part of t
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Piercing, Scarification & BrandingA
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bacterial soap, and use a fingernai
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was originally designed to be used
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person, but if you or your subject
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mask when engaging in this sort of
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the distant presence of an unfamili
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emergency signal that can be commun
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patented and trademarked product of
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physical, psychological, and sexual
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that is extremely low amperage, but
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EMS stands for Electrical Muscle St
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body part the electrical current fl
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torsion is another serious risk tha
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subject. Anyone who has ever gotten
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When it comes to safety, irritants
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cotton swab on a wooden stick, simi
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Cupping should be avoided by people
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Hot WaxHot wax play isn’t just fo
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your artistic talents, or just enjo
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reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, a
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inexpensive, and may even already b
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BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture is a t
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bottom’s buttocks prominently and
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used to restrain the hands and neck
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suddenly discover a phobia of being
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My Two Cents on BDSM ToysThe year w
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“I refuse to join any club that w
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names, to draw attention to this br
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which often consist of families wit
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At best, you’ll embarrass yoursel
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makes youuncomfortable, turn your a
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you should resist the temptation to
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concerned.Don’t use it as a place
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revisiting it here, in our discussi
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furnishings, such as racks, platfor
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their own towel to sit on if they
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to separate the wheat from the chaf
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lifestyle-friendly businesses.If do
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fact, exactly what he did.In a path
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Chapter 11: Sex, Love, D/s, & BDSMP
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see naked, anyway.”“Apparently,
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Mistaking Love for BDSMPeople confu
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porn, and Natalie promised to keep
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well.It is unfortunate that Ian and
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“This is crazy; seriously crazy!
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Mark pondered her words and her emo
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I think D/s is sexy.My Two Cents on
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“The more you love, the more you
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for their mother, or for that matte
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should be able to marry whomever th
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Francisco area from 1971 until 1991
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Attention.It’s often easy to assu
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Potential Pitfalls of a Poly Relati
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· Don’t introduce new partners i
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members of the household before you
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Even positive changes can result in
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We don’t feel the need to drop on
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of the group are considered to be m
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Polyfuckery. A derisive term used t
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It seriously just kills me that I s
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Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
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D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
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D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
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haram under Islamic law. For exampl
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Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
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that would today be considered typi
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own personal spirituality. Even so,
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United States, one can find a wide
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without sex, it’s relatively comm
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is subject unto Christ, so let the
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Another of Jesus’ unconventional
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Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
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I think religion in general has unf
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Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
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Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
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dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
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understand what she’s done wrong
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lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
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and submissives, and even went into
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such cases certainly favors a train
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betrayed by the little dots at the
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A folk tale that is often used to i
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Role reversal is characterized by a
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church, the community at large, or
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from now? Some states have recently
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“No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
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such statements, but this woman was
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and experiences, much less tell you
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Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
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Thank you so much!I thought about i
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Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
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not as much of a pervert as you mig
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My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
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“When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
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scenarios involving coercion, humil
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the law typically takes a dim view
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a submissive, passive, receiving or
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Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
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revoked. Alternately, a submissive
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submissive. A day collar may consis
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Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
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Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
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activity with a person of the oppos
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any kind of rape fantasy does not m
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Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
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Injection Play. Injection play refe
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refuse, subject to circumstances, p
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another on aspects of the D/s or BD
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play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
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consider such activity as “intima
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trait, while furryism is more a mat
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ramifications. This sort of play is
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(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
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in it, since this is an activity th
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another’s, and sanity can be hard
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general categories. BDSM Switches a
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Torture. Torture refers to any sust
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role playing as pet and veterinaria
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Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai S
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much else matters. No one asks why
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Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
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