Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

alejandroheinricks
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also requires us to believe that we can truly see what happens behind closeddoors in someone else’s relationship dynamic, in order to say, “She behavesperfectly with her Dom, it is only with others that she is a brat.” Frankly, itdefies credibility to believe that anyone could be challenging, rude, ordisrespectful to everyone in the world except her Dominant. It is far more likelythat the submissive’s bratty behavior is universal and whitewashed by aDominant is complicit in it because prefers to keep his own inability to deal withit a secret. The internet abounds with web site tutorials for frustrated Dominantson “How to Train Your Bratty Submissive.” Unfortunately, most of them missthe point entirely and should, instead, be tutorials on “How to Spot and Avoid aPhony Submissive.”On the other hand, if a Brat’s behavior is an integral and approved part of therelationship dynamic, then it becomes a delicate balancing act that mustcontinually be tweaked and reevaluated by both the submissive and herDominant. The very serious question of how much disobedience or disrespect istoo much can only be answered by the individuals in that relationship, and willalmost always raise questions about whether or not the submissive is “toppingfrom the bottom.” Topping from the bottom is a technique used by somesubmissives to manipulate, control, or influence a Dominant’s decision-makingprocess. It is quite often accomplished without the Dominant even being awareof it and, sometimes, without the submissive being conscious of it, either. It ismy humble opinion that any submissive who routinely tops from the bottomshould not be considered a true submissive. That isn’t to say she isn’t a goodperson. It just means she isn’t a submissive.The Cow/PigThe Cow or Pig submissive is one who enjoys being treated like a domesticatedfarm animal. Unlike the Pet submissive (see below), the Cow/Pig submissivethrives on humiliation, degradation, and abuse from her Dominant. For thisreason, the Cow/Pig is usually most compatible with a Sadistic Dom. Often, therelationship dynamic between the two focuses on the real or imaginedunattractiveness of the submissive, and frequent or extreme body modificationssuch as branding or scarification are fairly common for the Cow/Pigsubmissive. Cages, crates or pens are typically where the Cow/Pig submissivefeels most comfortable. She may spend time in these enclosures for play-timeonly, or during select portions of the day, or even to sleep in. Cow/Pig

submissives are rarely allowed to sit or lie on household furniture, and they aresometimes expected to eat table scraps or slop from a bowl or trough placed onthe floor. Curiously enough, in spite of all the hoopla about the Cow/Pigsubmissive being unworthy, subhuman and ugly, her Dominant almost alwayssomehow finds the intestinal fortitude to have sex with her. Go figure.The DomesticThe Domestic submissive, sometimes referred to as a service submissive, is onewho is expected to perform domestic duties in the Dominant’s household such ascooking, cleaning, childcare, chauffeuring, and yard work. More often than not,the Domestic sub is expected to be available sexually to the Dominant, his othersubmissives, or guests. In some relationships, humiliation role play is quiteoften a significant part of the dynamic. It is entirely possible, but relatively rare,for a Domestic submissive to be in a completely nonsexual D/s relationship. TheDomestic sub may be involved with virtually any kind of Dominant; however,the most likely scenario is a relationship with a Sadistic Dom, FemDom, orLesser God Dom.The KajiraA female Gorean slave is referred to as a kajira (plural: kajirae) which, in thefictional language of John Norman’s novels about the planet Gor, means “slavegirl.”While the great majority of Gorean slaves are female, there are somemales who consider themselves to be Gorean slaves, and they are called kajirus(plural: kajiri). Another term that is sometimes used synonymously for kajira issa-fora, which is said to mean “daughter of the chain.” (For an more in-depthexamination of Gorean traditions, see Chapter 7: The Gorean Way.)Kajirae, almost by definition, are typically involved in relationships with GoreanMasters, however it is fairly common to find submissives who considerthemselves kajirae (or at the very least, trained as one) involved with other typesof Dominants. The reason for this is actually quite simple. The Gorean D/slifestyle is based on a work of science fiction, and can be difficult to implementin any practical way in a real-life setting. Consequently, there are manysubmissives who are initially attracted to the Gorean traditions because of therich back-story, the many opportunities for fascinating role play, and its highlystylizedand erotic customs, only to find themselves seeking other facets of theD/s lifestyle once it becomes apparent that a real-life Gorean relationship can be

submissives are rarely allowed to sit or lie on household furniture, and they are

sometimes expected to eat table scraps or slop from a bowl or trough placed on

the floor. Curiously enough, in spite of all the hoopla about the Cow/Pig

submissive being unworthy, subhuman and ugly, her Dominant almost always

somehow finds the intestinal fortitude to have sex with her. Go figure.

The Domestic

The Domestic submissive, sometimes referred to as a service submissive, is one

who is expected to perform domestic duties in the Dominant’s household such as

cooking, cleaning, childcare, chauffeuring, and yard work. More often than not,

the Domestic sub is expected to be available sexually to the Dominant, his other

submissives, or guests. In some relationships, humiliation role play is quite

often a significant part of the dynamic. It is entirely possible, but relatively rare,

for a Domestic submissive to be in a completely nonsexual D/s relationship. The

Domestic sub may be involved with virtually any kind of Dominant; however,

the most likely scenario is a relationship with a Sadistic Dom, FemDom, or

Lesser God Dom.

The Kajira

A female Gorean slave is referred to as a kajira (plural: kajirae) which, in the

fictional language of John Norman’s novels about the planet Gor, means “slavegirl.”

While the great majority of Gorean slaves are female, there are some

males who consider themselves to be Gorean slaves, and they are called kajirus

(plural: kajiri). Another term that is sometimes used synonymously for kajira is

sa-fora, which is said to mean “daughter of the chain.” (For an more in-depth

examination of Gorean traditions, see Chapter 7: The Gorean Way.)

Kajirae, almost by definition, are typically involved in relationships with Gorean

Masters, however it is fairly common to find submissives who consider

themselves kajirae (or at the very least, trained as one) involved with other types

of Dominants. The reason for this is actually quite simple. The Gorean D/s

lifestyle is based on a work of science fiction, and can be difficult to implement

in any practical way in a real-life setting. Consequently, there are many

submissives who are initially attracted to the Gorean traditions because of the

rich back-story, the many opportunities for fascinating role play, and its highlystylized

and erotic customs, only to find themselves seeking other facets of the

D/s lifestyle once it becomes apparent that a real-life Gorean relationship can be

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