Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
also requires us to believe that we can truly see what happens behind closeddoors in someone else’s relationship dynamic, in order to say, “She behavesperfectly with her Dom, it is only with others that she is a brat.” Frankly, itdefies credibility to believe that anyone could be challenging, rude, ordisrespectful to everyone in the world except her Dominant. It is far more likelythat the submissive’s bratty behavior is universal and whitewashed by aDominant is complicit in it because prefers to keep his own inability to deal withit a secret. The internet abounds with web site tutorials for frustrated Dominantson “How to Train Your Bratty Submissive.” Unfortunately, most of them missthe point entirely and should, instead, be tutorials on “How to Spot and Avoid aPhony Submissive.”On the other hand, if a Brat’s behavior is an integral and approved part of therelationship dynamic, then it becomes a delicate balancing act that mustcontinually be tweaked and reevaluated by both the submissive and herDominant. The very serious question of how much disobedience or disrespect istoo much can only be answered by the individuals in that relationship, and willalmost always raise questions about whether or not the submissive is “toppingfrom the bottom.” Topping from the bottom is a technique used by somesubmissives to manipulate, control, or influence a Dominant’s decision-makingprocess. It is quite often accomplished without the Dominant even being awareof it and, sometimes, without the submissive being conscious of it, either. It ismy humble opinion that any submissive who routinely tops from the bottomshould not be considered a true submissive. That isn’t to say she isn’t a goodperson. It just means she isn’t a submissive.The Cow/PigThe Cow or Pig submissive is one who enjoys being treated like a domesticatedfarm animal. Unlike the Pet submissive (see below), the Cow/Pig submissivethrives on humiliation, degradation, and abuse from her Dominant. For thisreason, the Cow/Pig is usually most compatible with a Sadistic Dom. Often, therelationship dynamic between the two focuses on the real or imaginedunattractiveness of the submissive, and frequent or extreme body modificationssuch as branding or scarification are fairly common for the Cow/Pigsubmissive. Cages, crates or pens are typically where the Cow/Pig submissivefeels most comfortable. She may spend time in these enclosures for play-timeonly, or during select portions of the day, or even to sleep in. Cow/Pig
submissives are rarely allowed to sit or lie on household furniture, and they aresometimes expected to eat table scraps or slop from a bowl or trough placed onthe floor. Curiously enough, in spite of all the hoopla about the Cow/Pigsubmissive being unworthy, subhuman and ugly, her Dominant almost alwayssomehow finds the intestinal fortitude to have sex with her. Go figure.The DomesticThe Domestic submissive, sometimes referred to as a service submissive, is onewho is expected to perform domestic duties in the Dominant’s household such ascooking, cleaning, childcare, chauffeuring, and yard work. More often than not,the Domestic sub is expected to be available sexually to the Dominant, his othersubmissives, or guests. In some relationships, humiliation role play is quiteoften a significant part of the dynamic. It is entirely possible, but relatively rare,for a Domestic submissive to be in a completely nonsexual D/s relationship. TheDomestic sub may be involved with virtually any kind of Dominant; however,the most likely scenario is a relationship with a Sadistic Dom, FemDom, orLesser God Dom.The KajiraA female Gorean slave is referred to as a kajira (plural: kajirae) which, in thefictional language of John Norman’s novels about the planet Gor, means “slavegirl.”While the great majority of Gorean slaves are female, there are somemales who consider themselves to be Gorean slaves, and they are called kajirus(plural: kajiri). Another term that is sometimes used synonymously for kajira issa-fora, which is said to mean “daughter of the chain.” (For an more in-depthexamination of Gorean traditions, see Chapter 7: The Gorean Way.)Kajirae, almost by definition, are typically involved in relationships with GoreanMasters, however it is fairly common to find submissives who considerthemselves kajirae (or at the very least, trained as one) involved with other typesof Dominants. The reason for this is actually quite simple. The Gorean D/slifestyle is based on a work of science fiction, and can be difficult to implementin any practical way in a real-life setting. Consequently, there are manysubmissives who are initially attracted to the Gorean traditions because of therich back-story, the many opportunities for fascinating role play, and its highlystylizedand erotic customs, only to find themselves seeking other facets of theD/s lifestyle once it becomes apparent that a real-life Gorean relationship can be
- Page 10 and 11: PREFACE
- Page 12 and 13: getting just a little ahead of your
- Page 14 and 15: That is why you should fully unders
- Page 16 and 17: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
- Page 18 and 19: Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
- Page 20 and 21: great majority of humanity.A very t
- Page 22 and 23: IntrospectionDo you like being told
- Page 24 and 25: more focused on facts than feelings
- Page 26 and 27: also the not-so-insignificant matte
- Page 28 and 29: equal partnership between two peopl
- Page 30 and 31: If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
- Page 32 and 33: Types of DominantsThere are many di
- Page 34 and 35: subculture within the D/s lifestyle
- Page 36 and 37: person’s anus. Yes, there really
- Page 38 and 39: life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
- Page 40 and 41: from such riff-raff? He knows all o
- Page 42 and 43: was me - or more accurately, my own
- Page 44 and 45: crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
- Page 46 and 47: Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
- Page 48 and 49: IntrospectionIf you are someone who
- Page 50 and 51: I stated previously, most people ca
- Page 52 and 53: behavior pleases her mate great, bu
- Page 54 and 55: at the beginning of any relationshi
- Page 56 and 57: her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
- Page 58 and 59: Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
- Page 62 and 63: hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
- Page 64 and 65: accomplished by dinner time. This c
- Page 66 and 67: categories: kittens, puppies, and p
- Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
- Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
- Page 72 and 73: Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
- Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
- Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
- Page 79 and 80: experience to speak of and just a f
- Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
- Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
- Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
- Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
- Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
- Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
- Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
- Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
- Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
- Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
- Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
- Page 103 and 104: She drew back for a split second, a
- Page 105 and 106: Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
- Page 107 and 108: We went back to her house, where we
- Page 109 and 110: Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
submissives are rarely allowed to sit or lie on household furniture, and they are
sometimes expected to eat table scraps or slop from a bowl or trough placed on
the floor. Curiously enough, in spite of all the hoopla about the Cow/Pig
submissive being unworthy, subhuman and ugly, her Dominant almost always
somehow finds the intestinal fortitude to have sex with her. Go figure.
The Domestic
The Domestic submissive, sometimes referred to as a service submissive, is one
who is expected to perform domestic duties in the Dominant’s household such as
cooking, cleaning, childcare, chauffeuring, and yard work. More often than not,
the Domestic sub is expected to be available sexually to the Dominant, his other
submissives, or guests. In some relationships, humiliation role play is quite
often a significant part of the dynamic. It is entirely possible, but relatively rare,
for a Domestic submissive to be in a completely nonsexual D/s relationship. The
Domestic sub may be involved with virtually any kind of Dominant; however,
the most likely scenario is a relationship with a Sadistic Dom, FemDom, or
Lesser God Dom.
The Kajira
A female Gorean slave is referred to as a kajira (plural: kajirae) which, in the
fictional language of John Norman’s novels about the planet Gor, means “slavegirl.”
While the great majority of Gorean slaves are female, there are some
males who consider themselves to be Gorean slaves, and they are called kajirus
(plural: kajiri). Another term that is sometimes used synonymously for kajira is
sa-fora, which is said to mean “daughter of the chain.” (For an more in-depth
examination of Gorean traditions, see Chapter 7: The Gorean Way.)
Kajirae, almost by definition, are typically involved in relationships with Gorean
Masters, however it is fairly common to find submissives who consider
themselves kajirae (or at the very least, trained as one) involved with other types
of Dominants. The reason for this is actually quite simple. The Gorean D/s
lifestyle is based on a work of science fiction, and can be difficult to implement
in any practical way in a real-life setting. Consequently, there are many
submissives who are initially attracted to the Gorean traditions because of the
rich back-story, the many opportunities for fascinating role play, and its highlystylized
and erotic customs, only to find themselves seeking other facets of the
D/s lifestyle once it becomes apparent that a real-life Gorean relationship can be