Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

at the beginning of any relationship, there is often going to be a significant leap
of faith involved. At that point, a Dominant may have
demonstrated certain traits that make him attractive and potentially worthy of
such a leap of faith, but it is doubtful he has earned much.
A gift, by definition, is something that is given with no strings attached and no
expectation of getting anything in
return. When something is bestowed upon another with the expectation of
getting something else in return, that is what the legal beagles like to call quid
pro quo, which is Latin for trading “this for that.”
This begs the question, is a person’s submission to her Dominant a gift, or is it
quid pro quo? Most people would respond that every submissive expects
something in return for her submission. That something may include love,
respect, guidance, leadership, mentoring or affection, to
name just a few of the infinite possibilities. So, yes, there usually are strings
attached. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
By the way, one rarely - if ever - hears mention of a “gift of domination.” And
no, I’m not just looking for a crass opportunity to toot my own Dommy horn. If
a person’s submission has intrinsic value then doesn’t a person’s
domination? Since we’ve already firmly established the quid pro quo nature of
most D/s relationships, then perhaps the most useful and descriptive metaphor
would be the notion of a gift exchange. The only explanation I have been able to
come up with for this apparent lack of any
mention of the gift of domination is the fact that Dominants – with their big
honkin’ egos - rarely have to be convinced of the value of their
contribution to a relationship.