Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
behavior pleases her mate great, but his opinion carries no more weight - andoften less - than anyone else’s does. She worries about what people think, justnot so much about what her partner thinks.Dogs are eager to please. They are not only willing to alter their appearance andbehavior to please their partners, they live for it. The dog person derives atremendous amount of joy and fulfillment from the approval that comes from hermate as the result of any change in her wardrobe or hair color, the success of herdiet, or progress in overcoming bad habits. If you fit into this latter category; ifyou’ve ever found yourself asking your partner what you shouldwear, how you should eat, or whether you should quit smoking, then there’s avery good chance that you might be a submissive.Pencils down! Pass your papers to the front of the class. Let’s take a momenthere to reiterate the point that there are no right or wrong answers to any of thepreceding questions. They are simply designed to get you thinking about what isreally going on inside of your head and in your heart. It is entirely possible tohaveanswered all of the introspection questions in the negative, and yet still be asubmissive. Conversely, you could have been nodding in completeand utter agreement with every question, and still not be a submissive.To say it can be an incredibly complicated issue would be a grossunderstatement.If only it were as easy as going to the pharmacy, purchasing a test kit, and takingit home to pee on a little plasticstick. Red for Dominant, blue for submissive, purple for switches, andyellow for everyone else. Life really would be so much simpler.
The Gift of SubmissionMuch has been said in D/s circles about theso-called “Gift of Submission” that is believed by many to be bestowed upon aDominant by his submissive. For many, especially those who may benew to the D/s lifestyle, it can be a concept with a great deal ofutility. After all, it sometimes needs to be said that one’s submissionis not something that can be taken from you by force. It is somethingthat you give willingly to someone who deserves it. So, in the sense that it iswillingly given, submission is most definitely a gift.There are also some people who may not fullyappreciate the very real and intrinsic value of one’s submission to herDominant. If a submissive is plagued with serious self-esteem issues, shemay view herself as worthless and, therefore, her submission as equallyworthless. In such a case, it becomes necessary and appropriateto teach her that not only does she have value, but her submission is a gift ofgreat value which should not be wasted on the unworthy. Insuch a case, the metaphor of submission as a gift can be very useful.One occasionally hears discussion of the gift of submission as something whichmust be earned. I, for one, am not entirely comfortable with that notion, but amcertainly willing to take acloser look at it. Can you think of any other situation or scenario inour society where gifts must be earned? We have words for the things we earnin our culture; words like wages, paychecks, tips and bonuses. I will certainlyadmit that a Dominant should earn a submissive’s trust, respect and love as theirrelationship evolves but,
- Page 2 and 3: DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
- Page 4 and 5: DedicationThis book is for the peop
- Page 6 and 7: Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
- Page 8 and 9: My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
- Page 10 and 11: PREFACE
- Page 12 and 13: getting just a little ahead of your
- Page 14 and 15: That is why you should fully unders
- Page 16 and 17: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
- Page 18 and 19: Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
- Page 20 and 21: great majority of humanity.A very t
- Page 22 and 23: IntrospectionDo you like being told
- Page 24 and 25: more focused on facts than feelings
- Page 26 and 27: also the not-so-insignificant matte
- Page 28 and 29: equal partnership between two peopl
- Page 30 and 31: If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
- Page 32 and 33: Types of DominantsThere are many di
- Page 34 and 35: subculture within the D/s lifestyle
- Page 36 and 37: person’s anus. Yes, there really
- Page 38 and 39: life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
- Page 40 and 41: from such riff-raff? He knows all o
- Page 42 and 43: was me - or more accurately, my own
- Page 44 and 45: crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
- Page 46 and 47: Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
- Page 48 and 49: IntrospectionIf you are someone who
- Page 50 and 51: I stated previously, most people ca
- Page 54 and 55: at the beginning of any relationshi
- Page 56 and 57: her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
- Page 58 and 59: Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
- Page 60 and 61: also requires us to believe that we
- Page 62 and 63: hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
- Page 64 and 65: accomplished by dinner time. This c
- Page 66 and 67: categories: kittens, puppies, and p
- Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
- Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
- Page 72 and 73: Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
- Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
- Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
- Page 79 and 80: experience to speak of and just a f
- Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
- Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
- Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
- Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
- Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
- Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
- Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
- Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
- Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
- Page 99 and 100: encounters. When Furries gather in
- Page 101 and 102: Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
The Gift of Submission
Much has been said in D/s circles about the
so-called “Gift of Submission” that is believed by many to be bestowed upon a
Dominant by his submissive. For many, especially those who may be
new to the D/s lifestyle, it can be a concept with a great deal of
utility. After all, it sometimes needs to be said that one’s submission
is not something that can be taken from you by force. It is something
that you give willingly to someone who deserves it. So, in the sense that it is
willingly given, submission is most definitely a gift.
There are also some people who may not fully
appreciate the very real and intrinsic value of one’s submission to her
Dominant. If a submissive is plagued with serious self-esteem issues, she
may view herself as worthless and, therefore, her submission as equally
worthless. In such a case, it becomes necessary and appropriate
to teach her that not only does she have value, but her submission is a gift of
great value which should not be wasted on the unworthy. In
such a case, the metaphor of submission as a gift can be very useful.
One occasionally hears discussion of the gift of submission as something which
must be earned. I, for one, am not entirely comfortable with that notion, but am
certainly willing to take a
closer look at it. Can you think of any other situation or scenario in
our society where gifts must be earned? We have words for the things we earn
in our culture; words like wages, paychecks, tips and bonuses. I will certainly
admit that a Dominant should earn a submissive’s trust, respect and love as their
relationship evolves but,
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