Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai SaysHave you ever uttered a sentence aloud and immediately, upon hearing it comeout of your own mouth, think to yourself, “I really should write that down. I’msure it will come in handy someday?” But of course, it never does. And so youend up with a crazy hodgepodge of quips and quotes - some funny, someprofound, some just plain dopey, and you have no idea what you should do withthem, but you’re unwilling to just throw them away.I’m a lover of words; I can’t just toss them out. I have a hard enough time justlending out a book. Perhaps that makes me a little like those whack-jobs onHoarders who sit around watching TV while sharing a ratty couch with a bigstinking pile of dead cats. Okay, that was a really bad analogy. I’m nothing likethat.Some of these quips consist of brief commentaries on life and personalwitticisms that I’ve tweeted to my followers on Twitter. On days when I’mfeeling a little cocky, I’ll sometimes ask a friend, “So, did you see what I tweetedtoday?” to which the typical response is, “No, unlike you, I have a life.” That’swhen I hit them with my “I-may-be-a-Dom-but-I-can-do-sad-puppy-dog-eyesas-good-as-any-subbie”look, and they fold like a dollar-store card table under afat kid twerking on You Tube.They beg me to show them what they’ve been missing.And so, here it is.# # #If only it were as easy as going to the pharmacy, purchasing a test kit, and takingit home to pee on a little plastic stick. Red for Dominant, blue for submissive,purple for switch, and yellow for everyone else. Life would be so much simpler.There's nothing sexier than confidence, and nothing dumber than overconfidence.Life is all about where you draw the line between the two.
I always bring a pig-slapper to a flogger fight. I don’t even know what thatmeans. I honestly just love the sound of it."Pussy spanking" sounds so severe. Try to think of it as an open-handed, rapidfire,impact massage for your clitoris.Saran Wrap is the Bondage Gods' way of telling you not to take your BDSMtoys - or yourself - too seriously. Always buy an extra roll. Or ten.People are like M&Ms. They come in a variety of colors, they're hard on theoutside, and full of obscene yumminess on the inside.I love redheads. It’s not the hair color, it’s the crazy.I need a little sign in my car that says, "For your own safety, please buckle yourseat belt, ankle cuffs, wrist restraints and ball gag."Questions real people actually ask me: "So, do you know a lot about sex?" No,I just write books about it.I wouldn't say I'm terribly religious, but I am looking for someone who's reallyinto cock worship.Some days, I ponder the mysteries of the universe. Other days, about the best Ican do is wonder why "now" and "snow" don't rhyme.Some people are a complete waste of our time. Others are a complete waste ofour oxygen.I prefer my version: "Abstinence makes the hard-on seek fondlers."If this day gets any slower, I'll be moving backward in time. Can we stop at age21 please? That would be really cool.Entering into or even considering a D/s relationship knowing that you cannottrust is a little like skydiving without a parachute. It may start out great, but itnever ends well.Sure, I'd love to meet your mom. That way I can see what your boobs will looklike in 20 years. Did I just say that out loud?I don’t care about your excuses. I don’t care about anyone’s excuses; not evenmy own. Either we accomplish what we have set out to do, or we don’t. Not
- Page 440 and 441: “When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
- Page 442 and 443: scenarios involving coercion, humil
- Page 444 and 445: the law typically takes a dim view
- Page 446 and 447: a submissive, passive, receiving or
- Page 448 and 449: Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
- Page 450 and 451: revoked. Alternately, a submissive
- Page 452 and 453: submissive. A day collar may consis
- Page 454 and 455: Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
- Page 456 and 457: Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
- Page 458 and 459: activity with a person of the oppos
- Page 460 and 461: any kind of rape fantasy does not m
- Page 462 and 463: Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
- Page 464 and 465: Injection Play. Injection play refe
- Page 466 and 467: refuse, subject to circumstances, p
- Page 468 and 469: another on aspects of the D/s or BD
- Page 470 and 471: play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
- Page 472 and 473: consider such activity as “intima
- Page 474 and 475: trait, while furryism is more a mat
- Page 476 and 477: ramifications. This sort of play is
- Page 478 and 479: (See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
- Page 480 and 481: in it, since this is an activity th
- Page 482 and 483: another’s, and sanity can be hard
- Page 484 and 485: general categories. BDSM Switches a
- Page 486 and 487: Torture. Torture refers to any sust
- Page 488 and 489: role playing as pet and veterinaria
- Page 492 and 493: much else matters. No one asks why
- Page 494: Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai Says
Have you ever uttered a sentence aloud and immediately, upon hearing it come
out of your own mouth, think to yourself, “I really should write that down. I’m
sure it will come in handy someday?” But of course, it never does. And so you
end up with a crazy hodgepodge of quips and quotes - some funny, some
profound, some just plain dopey, and you have no idea what you should do with
them, but you’re unwilling to just throw them away.
I’m a lover of words; I can’t just toss them out. I have a hard enough time just
lending out a book. Perhaps that makes me a little like those whack-jobs on
Hoarders who sit around watching TV while sharing a ratty couch with a big
stinking pile of dead cats. Okay, that was a really bad analogy. I’m nothing like
that.
Some of these quips consist of brief commentaries on life and personal
witticisms that I’ve tweeted to my followers on Twitter. On days when I’m
feeling a little cocky, I’ll sometimes ask a friend, “So, did you see what I tweeted
today?” to which the typical response is, “No, unlike you, I have a life.” That’s
when I hit them with my “I-may-be-a-Dom-but-I-can-do-sad-puppy-dog-eyesas-good-as-any-subbie”
look, and they fold like a dollar-store card table under a
fat kid twerking on You Tube.
They beg me to show them what they’ve been missing.
And so, here it is.
# # #
If only it were as easy as going to the pharmacy, purchasing a test kit, and taking
it home to pee on a little plastic stick. Red for Dominant, blue for submissive,
purple for switch, and yellow for everyone else. Life would be so much simpler.
There's nothing sexier than confidence, and nothing dumber than overconfidence.
Life is all about where you draw the line between the two.
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