Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
IntrospectionIf you are someone who is wondering if you are “hard wired” to be asubmissive, or whether you are suited to assume the role of a submissive, someintrospection can help you to sort through the issuesinvolved. Take a few moments to ponder the following thought-provokingquestions as a way to explore your potential inner subbiness: Does the idea ofservice, particularly service to someone you love and respect, make you happy?Service is a concept that few people give much thought to these days.Obviously, it can meandifferent things to different people but, generally speaking, it refers to behavingin ways that benefit others. Performing service can be one of the most fulfillingthings you can do, whether you are a submissive or not. I served my country asa soldier for twenty years, and I knowwithout a doubt that I am a better person for having done so. But not all servicehas to be quite so difficult or life-changing. Doing a littleyard work for the elderly widow who lives next door, or volunteering your timeto the local food bank are just a few examples of the types of service that benefitthe one who performs the service as much as therecipient. If performing service to help a complete stranger can bring you joyand fulfillment, imagine how much happier you might be if you were given theopportunity to do something similar for someone that you love and respect. Ifthe idea of service to the one you love warms the cockles of your heart, then youjust might be a submissive.Do you find yourself instinctively sacrificing your own comfort, well-being, ormaterial things for others? This question is similar to the previous one regardingservice, but there is a distinct differencebetween service and sacrifice. Service is cooking dinner for your kids. Sacrificeis going hungry so your kids can have dinner. Some people have such a givingnature, they don’t know how or when to stop giving, even when it threatens toleave them in dire
straits. Feeding the hungry is one thing; giving your last crust of bread tosomeone who owns a grocery store is another thing entirely.Unfortunately, our society is full of wolves who prey upon these sacrificiallambs and their loving, generous nature. If you’re the sort of person who seemsto attract the kind of people who take advantage of your sense of sacrifice, thenyou just might be a submissive.Do you generally prefer to avoid contention and confrontation at all costs?People typically fall into two categorieswhen it comes to dealing with personal confrontation. There are those whoenthusiastically leap into the fray, swinging their sabers and boisterously singinga swashbuckling pirate song, and there are those who would rather have a rootcanal. An argument or fight with someone who is self-assertive,aggressive, or intimidating can send someone who is non-confrontational into anemotional death spiral of discomfort, self-doubt, and anger. Not all submissivesreact to confrontation in this way, but if you do, you just might be one.Does the idea of having to make important decisions without assistance makeyou uncomfortable? In each of our lives, there will inevitably be criticaldecisions that have to be made about our finances,careers, relationships, quality of life, and similar matters. How oftendo you typically make those decisions alone? When you do, how comfortableare you about doing so? Or, do you seek out the advice and guidance of atrusted family member, friend or colleague?Remember, you’re not being asked whether or not you are capable of makingdecisions on your own. The question is how do you feel about it? If having thebenefit of assistance or guidance from a trustedfriend would make you feel much better about in making that critical decision,you just may be a submissive.In chaotic, confusing, or dangerous situations, do you instinctively look forsomeone who knows what is going on to tell you what to do or where to go? As
- Page 2 and 3: DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
- Page 4 and 5: DedicationThis book is for the peop
- Page 6 and 7: Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
- Page 8 and 9: My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
- Page 10 and 11: PREFACE
- Page 12 and 13: getting just a little ahead of your
- Page 14 and 15: That is why you should fully unders
- Page 16 and 17: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
- Page 18 and 19: Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
- Page 20 and 21: great majority of humanity.A very t
- Page 22 and 23: IntrospectionDo you like being told
- Page 24 and 25: more focused on facts than feelings
- Page 26 and 27: also the not-so-insignificant matte
- Page 28 and 29: equal partnership between two peopl
- Page 30 and 31: If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
- Page 32 and 33: Types of DominantsThere are many di
- Page 34 and 35: subculture within the D/s lifestyle
- Page 36 and 37: person’s anus. Yes, there really
- Page 38 and 39: life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
- Page 40 and 41: from such riff-raff? He knows all o
- Page 42 and 43: was me - or more accurately, my own
- Page 44 and 45: crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
- Page 46 and 47: Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
- Page 50 and 51: I stated previously, most people ca
- Page 52 and 53: behavior pleases her mate great, bu
- Page 54 and 55: at the beginning of any relationshi
- Page 56 and 57: her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
- Page 58 and 59: Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
- Page 60 and 61: also requires us to believe that we
- Page 62 and 63: hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
- Page 64 and 65: accomplished by dinner time. This c
- Page 66 and 67: categories: kittens, puppies, and p
- Page 68 and 69: a better partner. This usually cons
- Page 70 and 71: My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
- Page 72 and 73: Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
- Page 74 and 75: the two extremes of Dominant and su
- Page 77 and 78: IntrospectionHow do you know if you
- Page 79 and 80: experience to speak of and just a f
- Page 81 and 82: enjoyed practically everything she
- Page 83 and 84: Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
- Page 85 and 86: I have a very good friend named Ann
- Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
- Page 89 and 90: Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
- Page 91 and 92: o Award yourself an extra point if
- Page 93 and 94: How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
- Page 95 and 96: Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
- Page 97 and 98: covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
straits. Feeding the hungry is one thing; giving your last crust of bread to
someone who owns a grocery store is another thing entirely.
Unfortunately, our society is full of wolves who prey upon these sacrificial
lambs and their loving, generous nature. If you’re the sort of person who seems
to attract the kind of people who take advantage of your sense of sacrifice, then
you just might be a submissive.
Do you generally prefer to avoid contention and confrontation at all costs?
People typically fall into two categories
when it comes to dealing with personal confrontation. There are those who
enthusiastically leap into the fray, swinging their sabers and boisterously singing
a swashbuckling pirate song, and there are those who would rather have a root
canal. An argument or fight with someone who is self-assertive,
aggressive, or intimidating can send someone who is non-confrontational into an
emotional death spiral of discomfort, self-doubt, and anger. Not all submissives
react to confrontation in this way, but if you do, you just might be one.
Does the idea of having to make important decisions without assistance make
you uncomfortable? In each of our lives, there will inevitably be critical
decisions that have to be made about our finances,
careers, relationships, quality of life, and similar matters. How often
do you typically make those decisions alone? When you do, how comfortable
are you about doing so? Or, do you seek out the advice and guidance of a
trusted family member, friend or colleague?
Remember, you’re not being asked whether or not you are capable of making
decisions on your own. The question is how do you feel about it? If having the
benefit of assistance or guidance from a trusted
friend would make you feel much better about in making that critical decision,
you just may be a submissive.
In chaotic, confusing, or dangerous situations, do you instinctively look for
someone who knows what is going on to tell you what to do or where to go? As
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