Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Chapter 2: The Submissive
What is a Submissive?
Depending upon whom you ask, a submissive may be described as anything
from a human doormat to a conspiratorial
behind-the-scenes puppet-master who controls her Dominant without his
knowledge. The reality, as usual, can be found somewhere between those
two extremes.
For our purposes, we’ll simply define a submissive as a person who acts in a
compliant or submissive role in life, and especially in relationships. A
submissive may be what we call a “true submissive” in the sense that these traits
are firmly hard-wired into her psyche and she simply doesn’t know any other
way to be, or she may be acting out a submissive role, whether consciously or
unconsciously. A submissive is defined
primarily by her deep-seated desire to serve and please another, while feeling
loved, cherished and cared for. You might be surprised to learn that even the
submissive who is an extreme masochist or who craves degradation and
humiliation still wants to feel as appreciated and treasured as any other kind of
submissive.
We will also, for the purposes of this book, continue in the habit of referring to
submissives with the feminine pronoun “she.”
As we stated previously, this is not being done out of any gender bias on the
author’s part, nor in the erroneous belief that all submissives are female or,
conversely, that all females are or should be submissive. No, nothing of the
sort. It is simply a hat-tip to the fact that in our society,
submission is typically seen as a feminine trait, and statistics have generally
supported the notion that the majority of submissives in the D/s lifestyle just
happen to be female. Besides, having to say “he or she” in every other sentence