Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Ralph looked up from his studious examination of sticks, leaves, and other
gutter debris and said, “Oh, hey there, Bob. I’m looking for my
cellphone. I think it may have fallen out of my pocket when I got out of the
car.”
Bob furrowed his brow and asked, “What makes you think it would be
here? Is this where you parked your car earlier?”
Ralph shook his head, and pointed to a spot about a hundred yards further
down the street. “No. Actually, I’m parked over there, under that tree.”
Bob peered down the street to where the car was parked in the dark
shadow of a large elm tree. He turned back to his friend and, just a little
confused, asked, “So, why are you looking for your phone over here,
Ralph?”
Ralph looked up from his gutter-rummaging, pointed to the streetlamp
above, and replied, “Well, duh! The light’s better over here!”
How many of us have expended precious time, resources, energy, and emotion
seeking happiness in all the wrong places, in all the wrong ways? How often
have we chosen the easy wrong path over the hard right one? Are we hoping
that our partners will fix us, rather than working to heal our own injuries and
scars? Are we trying too hard to know and love someone else, before really
knowing and being capable of loving ourselves?
Only you know the answers to these questions. Are you willing to be honest
with yourself?
Frankly, if anyone could help us to find those keys to happiness within
ourselves, it would be the people in this lifestyle. They are quite simply the best.
I have always loved the fact that kinksters are typically very open to
exploration, and not just exploration of the lifestyle, but of themselves. They are
generally far more willing than the average vanilla person to push the boundaries
of what they know, what they think, how they feel, and even what they like.
As a general rule of thumb, there’s also far less self-censorship in the fetish
lifestyle. Kinksters tend to say what they mean, mean what they say, and care
not about what others might think about that. This, of course, can be a doubleedged
sword. The good news is, for the most part, what you see is what you get.
The bad news is you’re not going to like a lot of what you see. But at least
you’ll be making informed choices and know that compared to all of that, you’re