Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )
from now? Some states have recently acted to extend or eliminate entirely thestatute of limitations for the crimes of rape and sodomy. In those states, youcould theoretically be charged with one of those crimes at any time while youare still alive. The odds of such a thing happening are, of course, infinitesimallysmall, but it is a sobering thing to contemplate.Family IssuesAmong the many other things that could possibly go wrong with a D/srelationship, we shouldn’t neglect the very real possibility that your families maynot be entirely thrilled with your involvement in this lifestyle. Much of thisnegativity will be rooted in misconceptions and false stereotypes, but thatdoesn’t make the effects any less stressful, and the potential consequences canrun the gamut from comical to catastrophic.I always enjoy telling the story of what happened a few days after I presentedJade, my former submissive, with her beautiful new collar. She was still ridinghigh on a wave of euphoria when she called me to tell me those three little wordswhich can have such a profound impact on the psyche of just about anyDominant: “I told Mom.”I’m rarely rendered speechless, but this was one of those times. I stammered,“You. Told. Your. Mom. What, exactly, did you tell her?”She nonchalantly replied, as if she were discussing her last load of laundry, “Itold her I was collared; that I now have a Master, and that my heart, body andsoul belong to You. And I told her that I was deliriously happy about it.”“I see...” said I, struggling manfully to stay calm, “and how, pray tell, did shereact to this news?”A long pause followed, no doubt fueled by an internal struggle over how to bestphrase her response. She finally decided on, “Not so good.”“Not so good?” I asked. “Please define not so good.”“Well...” she replied, “She wants your full name and address, and she said she’lluse the police or private investigators, if necessary, to track you down andrescue me from whatever crazy kind of cult you’ve gotten me into. So, yeah...Not so good.”
I like to think I took the news calmly, with a stoic resolve to weather whateverstorm would be coming our way. Jade, however, remembers it in a slightlydifferent way. Today, she describes it thusly: “You totally freaked out.”Whatever. Eventually, her mother (and I) calmed down, and life returned toabnormal. But this amusing little anecdote is illustrative of how family cansometimes become a critical factor in your D/s relationship in unpredictable orunexpected ways.Take for example, what typically happens whenever you tell someone outsidethe lifestyle that you are in a committed D/s or BDSM relationship. Almostwithout fail, the very first question they will ask is: “Do either of you havechildren?” The unspoken assumption, of course, is a suspicion or belief thatyou may be putting your children at risk, or raising them in an amoral orimmoral environment. Those misconceptions can be relatively easy for you todiscount or ignore until those busybodies act on them. The fact that they can doso anonymously in most cases just makes it all the more dangerous. It isunfortunate that our legal system grants almost unlimited powers to agents ofstate child protective services when they have any reason to suspect that childrenare being endangered, even when those reasons may be entirely bogus.Family-related D/s relationship issues don’t always have to be quite sopotentially disastrous. Sometimes, they can be simply annoying, frustrating oreven amusing. I once made the mistake of telling my eighty-three-year-oldfather about my D/s lifestyle during a long and monotonous road trip we tookacross the states of Texas and Louisiana. To this day, I still can’t fathom whatmight have caused me to think that it would be a good idea to have thatparticular conversation with him, and he swears that it never happened at all.Trust me, it did.We each have very different tastes in music, and after hours of driving in silence,I was about ready to crack. So I gave him some background about the BDSMlifestyle in general, talked a little about the D/s and poly mindset andphilosophy, and even tried to put it all in the proper context by explaining howthe poly D/s relationship I was in at the time worked. I thought I had done apretty good job of it all, until I realized that, in the course of the last thirtyminutes, he’d really just focused on two little words.“Sex slaves?” he asked. “You’re telling me you have sex slaves?”
- Page 372 and 373: It seriously just kills me that I s
- Page 374 and 375: Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
- Page 376 and 377: D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
- Page 378 and 379: D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
- Page 380 and 381: haram under Islamic law. For exampl
- Page 382 and 383: Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
- Page 384 and 385: that would today be considered typi
- Page 386 and 387: own personal spirituality. Even so,
- Page 388 and 389: United States, one can find a wide
- Page 390 and 391: without sex, it’s relatively comm
- Page 392 and 393: is subject unto Christ, so let the
- Page 394 and 395: Another of Jesus’ unconventional
- Page 396 and 397: Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
- Page 398 and 399: I think religion in general has unf
- Page 400 and 401: Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
- Page 402 and 403: Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
- Page 404 and 405: dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
- Page 406 and 407: understand what she’s done wrong
- Page 408 and 409: lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
- Page 410 and 411: and submissives, and even went into
- Page 412 and 413: such cases certainly favors a train
- Page 414 and 415: betrayed by the little dots at the
- Page 416 and 417: A folk tale that is often used to i
- Page 418 and 419: Role reversal is characterized by a
- Page 420 and 421: church, the community at large, or
- Page 424 and 425: “No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
- Page 426 and 427: such statements, but this woman was
- Page 428 and 429: and experiences, much less tell you
- Page 430 and 431: Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
- Page 432 and 433: Thank you so much!I thought about i
- Page 434 and 435: Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
- Page 436 and 437: not as much of a pervert as you mig
- Page 438 and 439: My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
- Page 440 and 441: “When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
- Page 442 and 443: scenarios involving coercion, humil
- Page 444 and 445: the law typically takes a dim view
- Page 446 and 447: a submissive, passive, receiving or
- Page 448 and 449: Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
- Page 450 and 451: revoked. Alternately, a submissive
- Page 452 and 453: submissive. A day collar may consis
- Page 454 and 455: Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
- Page 456 and 457: Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
- Page 458 and 459: activity with a person of the oppos
- Page 460 and 461: any kind of rape fantasy does not m
- Page 462 and 463: Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
- Page 464 and 465: Injection Play. Injection play refe
- Page 466 and 467: refuse, subject to circumstances, p
- Page 468 and 469: another on aspects of the D/s or BD
- Page 470 and 471: play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
from now? Some states have recently acted to extend or eliminate entirely the
statute of limitations for the crimes of rape and sodomy. In those states, you
could theoretically be charged with one of those crimes at any time while you
are still alive. The odds of such a thing happening are, of course, infinitesimally
small, but it is a sobering thing to contemplate.
Family Issues
Among the many other things that could possibly go wrong with a D/s
relationship, we shouldn’t neglect the very real possibility that your families may
not be entirely thrilled with your involvement in this lifestyle. Much of this
negativity will be rooted in misconceptions and false stereotypes, but that
doesn’t make the effects any less stressful, and the potential consequences can
run the gamut from comical to catastrophic.
I always enjoy telling the story of what happened a few days after I presented
Jade, my former submissive, with her beautiful new collar. She was still riding
high on a wave of euphoria when she called me to tell me those three little words
which can have such a profound impact on the psyche of just about any
Dominant: “I told Mom.”
I’m rarely rendered speechless, but this was one of those times. I stammered,
“You. Told. Your. Mom. What, exactly, did you tell her?”
She nonchalantly replied, as if she were discussing her last load of laundry, “I
told her I was collared; that I now have a Master, and that my heart, body and
soul belong to You. And I told her that I was deliriously happy about it.”
“I see...” said I, struggling manfully to stay calm, “and how, pray tell, did she
react to this news?”
A long pause followed, no doubt fueled by an internal struggle over how to best
phrase her response. She finally decided on, “Not so good.”
“Not so good?” I asked. “Please define not so good.”
“Well...” she replied, “She wants your full name and address, and she said she’ll
use the police or private investigators, if necessary, to track you down and
rescue me from whatever crazy kind of cult you’ve gotten me into. So, yeah...
Not so good.”
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