Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

A folk tale that is often used to illustrate this principle of gradual, almost
imperceptible change over time involves what happens when you toss a live frog
into a pot of boiling water. According to the earthy folks who love to tell this
tale, your frog will immediately leap right back out of the pot. Apparently, this
is a bad thing, because (this is the part that strains credulity) I am supposedly
really hungry for a boiled frog
When I was first told this story, I was more than just a little skeptical. But then
again, my only real experience at tossing live critters into boiling water involved
lobsters, and they’re not exactly known for being big leapers. They do,
however, make a creepy sound; but I digress. There’s apparently more to this
how-to-boil-a-frog story, and we’re just getting to the good part: If you were to
put your frog, instead, into a pot of cool water and raise the temperature
incrementally, he will simply sit there like a dope and tolerate the increasingly
hot water until he is fully cooked, through and through. This is great little story,
for everyone but the frog. The moral of it, obviously, is don’t be that frog. Or,
perhaps, don’t marry that frog. Or, just don’t eat frog.
Role abandonment occurs when a partner in a relationship suddenly just discards
his or her previous role. It happens in many different ways, and for a variety of
reasons, but it is almost always a surprise to almost everyone concerned. The
most common scenarios leading to role abandonment include such things as the
termination of a relationship, unforeseen difficulties in assuming the role,
catastrophic failure in fulfilling his responsibilities, or the sudden realization that
while he is role playing, his partner is not.
It is, in a nutshell, the so-called-adult version of “I don’t want to play
anymore... I quit.”
Giselle was a petite, ambitious twenty-six-year-old lifestyle submissive when
she met Carl. Carl was a few years older, ruggedly handsome, and relatively
successful in his chosen career as a real estate agent. There was just one little
problem with Carl. He was as vanilla as they come, and Giselle had vowed after
her recent divorce that she would never again be involved in another vanilla
relationship. And so, over the course of the next few months, Giselle introduced
her new beau to the D/s and BDSM lifestyles. To his credit, Carl was a good
pupil who found everything about this new culture fascinating and, as a result,
he caught on quickly. Giselle reveled in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to
“create the perfect Dom” by mentoring and teaching him how to be decisive, yet