Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

unwilling or incapable of switching roles to accommodate him. This really
only becomes an issue if one partner in the relationship is flexible, while
the other is not. Role evolution can be a wonderful thing, as long as both
partners have signed up for it.
· The polyamorous Dominant and monogamous submissive, or vice
versa. It happens all the time, and sometimes, it even works out, but the
odds are overwhelmingly stacked against it coming to a good end. To be
fair, most people go into these things with the best of intentions, earnestly
believing that they can be taught the secrets of polyamory or monogamy
when, in fact, it is actually quite rare for someone to be able to change his
or her outlook in this way. Certainly, there are techniques and strategies
which can make the adoption or practice of a new way of loving easier for
someone who is predisposed to it, but merely unskilled. But there are no
silver bullets that will transform a monogamous person into a poly one, or
vice versa. I do not recommend entering into a committed D/s relationship
with the unrealistic hope of converting your partner to your way of
loving.
· The pure BDSM Dominant and pure D/s submissive, or vice versa. As
I’ve said in previous chapters, most of the people in the fetish community
like to integrate their D/s and BDSM, just as most people generally prefer
their sex and love conveniently wrapped up in one person. But there are
many who don’t, and to further complicate things, it isn’t always easy to
figure out who those people are. There’s nothing wrong with simply
wanting to participate in BDSM activities, without seeking a relationship.
There’s also nothing wrong with simply wanting a D/s relationship
dynamic, without the whips and chains. The important thing is that both
partners are getting what they want and need out of the relationship.
It is certainly easy to assume that certain types of Dominants and submissives
will never be happy together in a relationship. Of course, that’s a little like
assuming that cats and dogs will never be able to tolerate each other, a
generalization that isn’t always supported by the facts. Can a babygirl
submissive be happy with a sadistic Dominant? Would a Lesser God Dominant
be able to tolerate a brat submissive? Should a non-Gorean Dominant ever
consider a kajirae for a collar? Your first impulse might be to doubt the longterm
viability of mismatched relationships such as these. Pure probability in