Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

lifestyle, I could easily adopt a trial-and-error strategy to learn how to surf, what
kinds of surfboards I should buy, where to go to catch the best waves, and so on.
And while some of those lessons might turn out to be embarrassing, expensive,
time consuming or even painful to me personally, there is going to be very little
chance that I can destroy someone else’s life in the process. A Dominant can,
and often does, assume that risk when he accepts full responsibility for
practically every aspect of another person’s life. Similarly, a submissive holds
her Dominant’s fate in her hands in ways that the average person cannot even
begin to comprehend. What happens, for example, if a “slave” decides long
after a turbulent Master/slave relationship has ended, that there never really was
any consent involved? What do you think your chances would be of convincing
a judge and jury that someone actually wanted to be treated like a slave?
The bottom line: incompetence can be encountered anywhere in this lifestyle and
it can have far-reaching, sometimes unimaginable consequences. Keep it at
arm’s length, whenever possible.
Abuse
Let’s start this section off by stating what should be fairly obvious to just about
anyone capable of reading. Abuse, in any form, should never be tolerated by
anyone in, or out, of this lifestyle. That includes physical abuse, sexual abuse,
financial abuse, and even emotional abuse. There are many misinformed and,
frankly, bigoted individuals who equate the D/s and BDSM lifestyles with an
inherently abusive relationship dynamic. They often claim without any evidence
whatsoever to support their allegations that these lifestyles promote violence and
the objectification of women, as well as a host of other societal ills which
apparently must be blamed on someone, before they can be “eradicated.” My
perspective on this is if you believe that either of these problems will ever be
eradicated, then I have some prime Everglades real estate deals I’d like to
discuss with you.
Abuse does exist in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles, just as it occurs in every
lifestyle. The false impression that it occurs with greater frequency in our
lifestyle than elsewhere can likely be attributable to the increasingly popular and
insidious notion that people are stupid and can’t be trusted to make their own life
choices; therefore they must be rescued from themselves. In this nanny-state
worldview, a masochist woman who is happily married to a sadistic man hasn’t
made a valid lifestyle choice at all. She is a brainwashed and perhaps even