Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

confident doing so himself. The ridiculous notion of doing any homework on
how real Dominants might conduct themselves makes about as much sense to
him as trying to learn how real vampires behave.
Eventually, the role player Tin Pot Dom realizes his mistake but, by then, it’s
usually too late to recover from it gracefully. The great majority of them will
simply drop the role completely, quickly assume another identity, and then start
doing a little homework on the lifestyle. Some may even go so far as to explore
how they might fit into the lifestyle in reality, rather than through role play. If
they are smart and/or lucky, they will find mentors or friends who will help them
navigate the tricky path from role play to reality.
You probably know more of these folks than you think. They’re usually the
people who tell you, “I’m a submissive (or switch), but I used to be a Dom.”
Translation: “I used to role play being a Dominant until one day, I realized that
there really were such things, and that I wasn’t one.”
Just because someone discovers the D/s lifestyle through role play doesn’t
necessarily mean they can’t successfully adopt it as a way of life and find
happiness in a D/s relationship. All who arrive at this lifestyle come by different
paths, and no path is intrinsically better than another. The important thing is that
they arrive safe and sound. Such is not always the case with the next type of Tin
Pot Dominant.
The second category of Tin Pot Dom is the self-delusional variety. This poor
bastard really believes in his innate superiority and unrecognized demi-godhood,
despite the overwhelming body of evidence to the contrary. He develops his
strategies and techniques, not out of any sense of deception, but from a purely
pragmatic sense of what has worked for him in the past. He simply plays the
odds. He knows that if he approaches twenty complete strangers and commands
each of them to drop to their knees and submit to him that nineteen of them will
slap him silly, but the twentieth just might do it. He knows that eventually, he
will find someone who is willing to buy into his delusion and feed it, and that’s
all that matters.
If you happen to be that unlucky person who has bought into his delusion, he
also knows that separating you from the D/s community-at-large will insulate
you from dissenting voices which might warn you about him. He knows he is
shunned by others in the lifestyle but, then again, what else would you expect