Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

simple system that randomizes or assigns seats fairly for all concerned.
Children. The presence of children in a polyamorous relationship adds a level
of complexity and potential for problems that many people would rather not
have to think about, but it is a subject that should be given some thought,
whether or not the current partners in the relationship currently have any
children. Typically, when a vanilla person hears, for the first time, that you are
in a poly relationship, the very first question they will ask is “Do any of you
have children?” This question usually arises for one or more of the following
three reasons. First, they may be confusing polyamory with sexual promiscuity
or swinging, and are worried that the children will be exposed to orgies in the
living room. Second, they worry that having multiple pervy partners in a
household with kids will increase the potential for child abuse. And third, they
worry that the children may grow up believing the crazy notion that it’s okay to
love more than one person at a time. In defense of your vanilla friends, two of
the three concerns actually do have some validity, and ought to be considered.
Obviously, polyamory is not swinging, so that issue can usually be laid to rest
with a simple explanation of the differences. But introducing any new adult into
any household (mono or poly) with children increases the potential for abuse,
and this potential can be significantly higher if that person is, for example, a
sadist. Further complicating the matter is the unfortunate reality that if any
allegation of abuse is made, the fact that a person is living an alternative lifestyle
will be counted as a strike against the alleged perpetrator in any court of law.
Finally, while you may believe that polyamory is the perfect lifestyle for you,
you may want to give some serious consideration to whether you want to pass
that mindset and way of life on to your children. For some, the answer may be
simple. For others, perhaps not so much.
The Final Straw. You may be familiar with the old Arabic proverb that
describes how a heavily-laden camel’s back is broken by a single straw that is
added to his already heavy load. This final straw parable perfectly describes
what happens when an already overburdened and barely functional relationship
is transformed almost instantly into a completely dysfunctional one by the
addition of another partner. When this occurs, it is not indicative of any
systemic flaw in the concept or practice of polyamory; it is the predictable
consequence of introducing unknown variables, new personalities and additional
stresses to a pre-existing bad relationship. Stress is how the mind and body
react to perceived changes, threats or challenges that we encounter in our lives.