Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Focus. Another potential disadvantage of poly relationships is the issue of
focus, which generally falls into two categories: time and attention. It is always
a difficult balancing act to know when to focus these resources upon one partner
like a laser beam, and when to broaden your focus to include more than one mate
and/or others, such as children or friends. One-on-one quality time, which is
typically comprised of highly focused attention on one individual, can often
compensate for far larger quantities of unfocused time and attention. One-onone
quality time usually includes, but shouldn’t necessarily be limited to, sex
and intimacy. It can just as easily consist of any activity that is unique and
special to the individual who is the focus of your attention. The key to
overcoming this challenge in a poly relationship is to regularly schedule
inviolable one-on-one quality time with each of your mates, and stick to your
schedule.
Expense and Resources. The cost and viability of a polyamorous relationship
can be another one of those double-edged swords that we seem to encounter with
great frequency in the poly lifestyle. On one hand, a poly relationship can
sometimes mean multiple incomes flowing into a single household, which may
equate to a higher standard of living and increased cash flow for everyone
involved. On the other hand, it could also consist of a relationship where all of
the partners aren’t able to work and contribute a portion of their income. That
could, for example, mean trying to support three people with the same income
that previously supported just two – which rarely works out very well. While
there isn’t a cookie-cutter solution to these kinds of challenges, it is almost
always a good idea to sit down with any potential poly partners to have a frank
discussion about personal finances and perhaps even a proposed budget.
Personal Space. Contrary to popular belief, personal space can become an
issue even in poly relationships where each partner lives in his or her own home.
Allowing another person to muck about in your kitchen or sock drawer can
definitely be a little unsettling for some. Multiply that by two or more people
doing it, and it can be more than just unsettling, it can cause some people to
become absolutely unhinged. Add two cups of living under the same roof and a
dash of the common misconception that poly living somehow equates to
communal property, and voila! – you now have a recipe for epic relationship
failure. If you are considering entering into a poly relationship where your
partners will be living in the same household, be sure to hammer out the details
of what is or isn’t considered your personal space that is off-limits to the other