Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

are required to do something about it. Decisions made in the heat of high
emotion will almost always turn out to be bad decisions.
· Work on improving your communication skills. One way to do that is
to use precise language to avoid coming across as being judgmental or
blaming. Instead of saying, “You ignored me,” try saying, “I felt left
out.” Discussing your feelings, instead of another person’s actions works
far better, because no one can ever deny how you felt, yet they could (and
probably will) argue the issue of what they did or didn’t do. Avoid any
language that leads to guilt trips, blaming, martyrdom, tantrums or threats
of violence or self-destructive behavior.
· Seek reassurance from your partner(s) on their feelings about you
and/or the relationship, their willingness to work with you to resolve the
issues, and their understanding of what is actually happening.
· Avoid viewing your jealousy as a problem that can only be solved by a
change in someone else’s behavior. Yes, it is a problem that can be
solved, but only by making changes in your own thinking and behavior.
· Learn to love yourself, despite all of your flaws and insecurities.
Acknowledge that you are loved, and that you have unique gifts, talents
and qualities that no one else has, and that you have value. This is, and
forever will be, true regardless of whether or not your current relationship
endures.
· Recognize that your emotional state and any resulting drama also affect
everyone else in the relationship, and the effect is almost never a good
one. This can cause a ripple-effect of unintended consequences, which
may become self-fulfilling prophecies.
· Consider desensitizing yourself to your jealousy triggers by deliberately
exposing yourself to them in small, manageable doses with the help of
your partner(s). Evaluate how you react to and handle each instance, and
look for ways you can improve.
· Be patient, forgiving, creative and strong in your efforts to overcome
the negative effects that jealousy can have on your relationship. Ask
yourself, at each step of the way, am I making things better or worse?
If your partner is the one who is jealous: