Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

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I think D/s is sexy.My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSMPerhaps I find it sexy because it is how I express my love and how I wantsomeone to express her love for me, in return. Some people express their lovewith kisses and caresses. I express mine through a D/s relationship dynamic; notthat there’s anything wrong with kisses and caresses, too. For me, the gift ofsubmission from my partner is the purest expression of love that I can imagine.Loyalty runs a very close second.Conversely and surprisingly to some, I don’t particularly find BDSM to beinherently sexy. Don’t get me wrong; with the right person and in the rightcircumstances, BDSM play can be incredibly sexy. I’ve probably already beatthis analogy to death, but BDSM really is a lot like sex, and let’s face it -sometimes, even sex isn’t sexy.Just to clarify: I like sex. I like it a lot.My thoughts on love are a bit more complicated and controversial.I believe real love should be unconditional. It simply doesn’t have to be ascomplicated as most people try to make it. Whenever you let coulda, woulda,shoulda, and ought-to-be get into the act, you’re just mucking up something that,if left alone, is truly beautiful in its simplicity and incredible capacity forcreating a lot of joy in your life and in the lives of others.If you think you love someone, but you’re hoping or angling or trying to getsomething from that person in return, that isn’t real love. It’s just another formof self-gratification. At best, it is emotional masturbation; at its worst, it isemotional blackmail.Love is that condition where someone else’s happiness matters more to you thanyour very own.If you’ve spent your entire life thinking that love should be all about insecurity,jealousy or drama, chances are your search for happiness is going to be longerand exponentially more difficult. Love shouldn’t be about saying I love you,therefore, you should love me back, or prove to me how much you care, or youmust start shaving your back, or settling down to have babies, or riding unicorns
into the sunset.It shouldn’t be all about what’s in it for you.You either love the person standing in front of you, or you don’t. Loving theperson that you wish he or she could be is a terrible waste of time and emotionalenergy.Love the person, not the fantasy.
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DOMINATION & SUBMISSION:THE BDSMREL
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DedicationThis book is for the peop
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Primal InstinctsMy Two Cents on Pri
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My Two Cents on Sex, Love, and BDSM
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PREFACE
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getting just a little ahead of your
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That is why you should fully unders
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI want to express my
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Chapter 1: The DominantWhat is a Do
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great majority of humanity.A very t
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IntrospectionDo you like being told
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more focused on facts than feelings
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also the not-so-insignificant matte
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equal partnership between two peopl
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If you are polyamorous, are youpoly
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Types of DominantsThere are many di
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subculture within the D/s lifestyle
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person’s anus. Yes, there really
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life to keep twenty-seven angry sla
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from such riff-raff? He knows all o
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was me - or more accurately, my own
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crying out, “Geez, Sir Knight! No
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Chapter 2: The SubmissiveWhat is a
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IntrospectionIf you are someone who
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I stated previously, most people ca
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behavior pleases her mate great, bu
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at the beginning of any relationshi
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her Dominant to have an orgasm - an
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Types of SubmissivesIf you are in t
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also requires us to believe that we
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hard - really hard.Theoretically, k
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accomplished by dinner time. This c
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categories: kittens, puppies, and p
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a better partner. This usually cons
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My Two Cents on SubmissionJade simp
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Charlotte, the Spider: I'm versatil
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the two extremes of Dominant and su
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IntrospectionHow do you know if you
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experience to speak of and just a f
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enjoyed practically everything she
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Sue, but submissive to Diane. His k
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I have a very good friend named Ann
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Chapter 4: The PrimalWhat is a Prim
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Michael Makai’s PRIMAAL AnalysisP
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o Award yourself an extra point if
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How Primal Are You?0 to 15:You are
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Primal PreferencesNow that we’ve
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covered-in-birthday-cake kind of se
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encounters. When Furries gather in
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Primal ScenesA primal scene is not
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She drew back for a split second, a
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Primal InstinctsIn the final analys
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We went back to her house, where we
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Chapter 5: Online BDSM Relationship
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CompuServe chat became available, i
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worlds? The process of choosing an
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sort. There’s no shame in admitti
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the online BDSM lifestyle, but they
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ChallengesDespite all of the appare
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should suffice to know that if thes
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· The percentage of vanilla online
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them. An IP address usually looks s
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Where Is It Going?Major League Base
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by a radioactive mule.” (Hat tip
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people discover the utility of cert
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supposed neighborhood. If someone t
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The safety advantage of online BDSM
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come back. It’s that much of a sh
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Chapter 6: The CollarWhat is a coll
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adornments such as rhinestones or m
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Types of CollarsA collar represents
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consideration are also collars of p
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vulnerable in BDSM environments tha
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consideration involves money or mer
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possibly be wrong with that? Well,
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submissive the ability to choose wh
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Your Collar, Your CommitmentIn this
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considered a yin and yang metaphor,
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Chapter 7: The Gorean WayThere are
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Gor novels from 1967 through the mi
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What is a Gorean?Devotees of the
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What Do Goreans Really Believe?If w
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The Gorean SlaveGorean slaves are c
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by raiding parties. They refer to t
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"Even though she had then been turn
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Rent Slave. A rent slave is a slave
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Categories of CollarsGorean merchan
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Coil CollarA coil collar is constru
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within, will be a message." (John N
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occasions, the sleeve collar may be
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ceremonies described by Norman in h
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Now, with his two hands, he held th
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Gor in Real World RelationshipsCont
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My Two Cents on GorI admit it. I’
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“The meeting of two personalities
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with a submissive. He can choose to
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and I was serving in the Army, stat
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inclined to be as sympathetic as I
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True, the odds of that person being
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few days. Allot yourselves plenty o
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it and drive across it slowly and d
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asking yourselves is, is this the b
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First Meetings: Sheila’s StoryWhe
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were invariably ignored. John Edwar
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aka Slavemaster, lived with his wif
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but you also need to be able to tru
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important phone numbers and having
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The article examined the difference
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where you want your relationship to
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think I can do that.”Three days l
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Chapter 9: BDSM Toys & SafetyTypica
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It is not uncommon for some people
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Types of BDSM Toys & EquipmentWe co
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of his or her extremities for loss
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SleevesA BDSM sleeve is typically a
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order to escape smoke or fire.Harne
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Straps are often used in lieu of ro
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thing they all have in common is th
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plugs may also be susceptible to cr
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Impact GearBDSM impact gear is used
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the construction of paddles, but th
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these functions include sensation,
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strike, which can be far more probl
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has the potential to cause serious
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sensations. A significant part of t
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Piercing, Scarification & BrandingA
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bacterial soap, and use a fingernai
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was originally designed to be used
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person, but if you or your subject
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mask when engaging in this sort of
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the distant presence of an unfamili
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emergency signal that can be commun
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patented and trademarked product of
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physical, psychological, and sexual
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that is extremely low amperage, but
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EMS stands for Electrical Muscle St
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body part the electrical current fl
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torsion is another serious risk tha
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subject. Anyone who has ever gotten
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When it comes to safety, irritants
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cotton swab on a wooden stick, simi
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Cupping should be avoided by people
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Hot WaxHot wax play isn’t just fo
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your artistic talents, or just enjo
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reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, a
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inexpensive, and may even already b
Page 296 and 297: BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture is a t
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Page 304 and 305: My Two Cents on BDSM ToysThe year w
Page 306 and 307: “I refuse to join any club that w
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Page 310 and 311: which often consist of families wit
Page 312 and 313: At best, you’ll embarrass yoursel
Page 314 and 315: makes youuncomfortable, turn your a
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Page 330 and 331: fact, exactly what he did.In a path
Page 332 and 333: Chapter 11: Sex, Love, D/s, & BDSMP
Page 334 and 335: see naked, anyway.”“Apparently,
Page 336 and 337: Mistaking Love for BDSMPeople confu
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Page 340 and 341: well.It is unfortunate that Ian and
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Page 344 and 345: Mark pondered her words and her emo
Page 348 and 349: “The more you love, the more you
Page 350 and 351: for their mother, or for that matte
Page 352 and 353: should be able to marry whomever th
Page 354 and 355: Francisco area from 1971 until 1991
Page 356 and 357: Attention.It’s often easy to assu
Page 358 and 359: Potential Pitfalls of a Poly Relati
Page 360 and 361: · Don’t introduce new partners i
Page 362 and 363: members of the household before you
Page 364 and 365: Even positive changes can result in
Page 366 and 367: We don’t feel the need to drop on
Page 368 and 369: of the group are considered to be m
Page 370 and 371: Polyfuckery. A derisive term used t
Page 372 and 373: It seriously just kills me that I s
Page 374 and 375: Chapter 13: D/s, BDSM, & ReligionIt
Page 376 and 377: D/s and Judaism: Could Lead to Mixe
Page 378 and 379: D/s and Islam: Keep Your Clothes On
Page 380 and 381: haram under Islamic law. For exampl
Page 382 and 383: Tantric Buddhism involves harnessin
Page 384 and 385: that would today be considered typi
Page 386 and 387: own personal spirituality. Even so,
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Page 390 and 391: without sex, it’s relatively comm
Page 392 and 393: is subject unto Christ, so let the
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Filling a VoidI wrote this chapter
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I think religion in general has unf
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Chapter 14: What Could Possibly Go
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Possible insights ahead. Use ‘em,
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dysfunctional D/s relationships tha
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understand what she’s done wrong
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lifestyle, I could easily adopt a t
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and submissives, and even went into
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such cases certainly favors a train
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betrayed by the little dots at the
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A folk tale that is often used to i
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Role reversal is characterized by a
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church, the community at large, or
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from now? Some states have recently
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“No, Dad.” I replied, “Techni
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such statements, but this woman was
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and experiences, much less tell you
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Avoiding the Train WreckIt may seem
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Thank you so much!I thought about i
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Chapter 15: Rainbows & UnicornsThis
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not as much of a pervert as you mig
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My Two Cents on HappinessGuess what
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“When I use a word,” Humpty Dum
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scenarios involving coercion, humil
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the law typically takes a dim view
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a submissive, passive, receiving or
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Torture)Catheterization. Catheteriz
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revoked. Alternately, a submissive
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submissive. A day collar may consis
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Eloctrostimulation. (See Electricit
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Flogger. A small hand-held whip wit
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activity with a person of the oppos
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any kind of rape fantasy does not m
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Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexua
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Injection Play. Injection play refe
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refuse, subject to circumstances, p
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another on aspects of the D/s or BD
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play, Spanking)Painslut. The painsl
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consider such activity as “intima
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trait, while furryism is more a mat
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ramifications. This sort of play is
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(See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadisti
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in it, since this is an activity th
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another’s, and sanity can be hard
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general categories. BDSM Switches a
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Torture. Torture refers to any sust
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role playing as pet and veterinaria
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Appendix B: Silly Shit Mike Makai S
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much else matters. No one asks why
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Appendix C: About the AuthorMichael
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