Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

see naked, anyway.”
“Apparently, they do this thing at the start of the play party, where the girls have
to identify who is allowed to touch them or play with them, and when none of
them designated me as a potential play partner, I felt like a total loser and an
outcast. They described their group as friendly, tolerant and inclusive, but this
just made me feel excluded and embarrassed. If no one was going to play with
me, what was the point of me even being here?”
“People were mostly paired off into couples already, so I felt incredibly
uncomfortable talking to anyone, for fear of stepping on someone’s toes or
intruding. I don’t know how a single guy like me is supposed to hook-up with
anyone, and even if I did meet someone interesting, I wasn’t authorized to touch
or play with her, so what’s the point?”
“Basically, all I got to do was watch an edge play demo and a couple of scenes.
Yeah, I engaged in a few half-hearted, superficial conversations with people who
were obviously not very interested in me, but after a couple hours of that, I was
ready to go home. I hope not all BSM groups are like this one.”
Robert had gone to the event looking for sex, but what he found there was –
surprise! - BDSM. It’s unfortunate that one of the most commonly held
misconceptions about the BDSM lifestyle is the notion that it is all about kinky,
promiscuous sex. The lifestyle is kinky, without a doubt, almost by definition;
but how much promiscuous sex is there, really? There is surprisingly little,
actually - typically far less than is typically assumed by the general public.
That is not to say that promiscuous sex doesn’t happen in this lifestyle. Of
course it happens. But, it happens in the BDSM lifestyle pretty much the same
way it does in every other kind of lifestyle, with the possible exceptions of the
poly lifestyle and the swinging lifestyle. In other words, it happens mostly
behind closed doors. The overwhelming majority of people in the D/s and
BDSM lifestyles are either monogamous or polyfidelous. A relatively small
minority of those in the BDSM lifestyle consider themselves swingers. A good
friend of mine likes to explain the difference to his vanilla acquaintances thusly:
“We’re beaters, not cheaters.”
Robert made more than just the simple mistake of assuming that a BDSM munch
group’s play party would be a sex orgy. He erroneously assumed that these
events were all about nudity when, in fact, nudity plays a very small role in most