Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

you should resist the temptation to ask for details, or to make it seem as though
you are inviting yourself to them. Some groups require you to have attended a
minimum number of munches – often as low as one – before you are invited to
attend other activities. When the decision has been made by whoever makes
those kinds of decisions for the group, you will usually be discreetly informed of
it. If a group leader asks you, “Are you coming to the after-party?” you may
then consider yourself invited, and ask for more details.
Don’t touch anyone without permission. If it consists of anything other than a
handshake, it is considered touching.
If you don’t have permission to do it, then it is considered bad touching.
Permission means an expressed verbal authorization to touch that person,
delivered personally to you. Just because someone has granted that permission to
anyone else, or even to practically everyone else, does not mean he or she has
granted that permission to you. The permission must be explicit, not implied.
You may not assume that just because someone appears to want a hug from you,
that they actually do want a hug from you. Usually, it is simply a matter of
asking, “Is it alright if I hug you?” If a group member is a slave, submissive,
pet, or partner in any kind of relationship, then you may be required to ask
permission from his or her Dominant, as well. As you might well imagine, if
group members are going to get this worked up about nonconsensual hugs, you
probably don’t want to test the waters with random gropes or swats.
Don’t reveal information about other people.
What happens at group events should stay at those group events. The mere
mention of someone’s attendance or activities at another event may be
considered privileged information. For all you know, that new person
sitting next to you in the restaurant while you’re describing a particularly kinky
BDSM scene that occurred last month involving a friend may just happen to be
your friend’s boss. Another good reason for this rule is, in a lifestyle that often
involves BDSM play outside of committed relationships, it is usually a good
thing for someone to hear about the activities of his partner from his partner, and
not from some stranger who just happened to be in the audience when it
occurred. Granted, it can sometimes be