Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Don’t ask for personal details, beyond a first name or online username. This can
be a difficult habit to break, since many of us are taught our entire vanilla lives
to engage in small talk that consists mostly of questions like: What do you do
for a living? Where is your office located? Are you married? Do you
have kids? Where do you hang out after work? This sort of
chit-chat may serve as a social lubricant in other types of gatherings, but at a
fetish group munch, it’s generally considered bad manners.
Information is power, and most people in the BDSM lifestyle are simply not
willing to hand you – a complete stranger - that kind of power over their lives the
first time they meet you. If someone volunteers that sort of personal information
to you without being asked for it, you should always consider it a sincere
compliment and a leap of faith concerning your trustworthiness, and never pass
that information on to someone else without their express permission to do so.
Don’t ask people where they hang out with their vanilla friends. Many people in
the BDSM lifestyle live dual lives.
That means they often maintain two completely separate social circles, and as
far as they are concerned, never the ‘twain shall meet.
There are usually very good reasons for doing this, since our vanilla friends
aren’t always able to understand or accept the kinkier aspects of our lives, and
even if they could, we may feel that it simply isn’t any of their
business. Try to respect that, so they won’t have to dread the
possibility that you’ll someday show up at their bible study group with
handcuffs and a riding crop.
Don’t invite yourself to any activity. Never forget that a munch is more than just
a social gathering. A munch also
serves as an informal screening process which helps to determine whether it is
appropriate to invite you to other less public events. You may hear some
discussion about an after-party, or other events planned for the near future, but